Sex Deficit Disorder: The New Male PMS?

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PMS, the pre-menstrual version, has long been the domain of the females of the species. The menstrual cycle itself has been both loved and hated but I think everyone is agreed that the PMS in the seven or so days before the bloodshed begins is about as fun as watching the last State of the Union address. Which is why I was confused when I heard that males want in our Red Tent club.

Obviously, they can't menstruate - and thank heavens for that, I lived with 5 other girls in college and hope to never again witness such a mushroom cloud of PMS - but apparently men do go through hormone cycles that can lead to anger, depression, irritability and, yes, chocolate cravings. The causes, researchers say, vary from biological reasons such as low testosterone to high estradiol - a form of estrogen (yes, men have some estrogen just like women have some testosterone) - to lifestyle problems like stress or being married to Madonna.

But, according to S., the anonymous reader who e-mailed me this question, the real instigator of her husband's onset of PMS is SDD, or sex deficit disorder, defined by S. as "how the male attitude/personality changes when they haven't achieved what they consider the appropriate frequency of sexual encounters." Hmm... men getting crabby when they don't get enough sex? Shocking. Now before all the women sign off rolling their eyes and all the men start giggling ("she said sex!!"), S. is not the only person to have noticed this phenomenon.

The source of all things au courrant, the Urban Dictionary weighs in on the topic defining "male PMS" in no less than four different ways. The most popular answer states unhelpfully, "The male equivalent of the irritability and general pissiness which often accompanies the natural female pre-menstrual syndrome. No known cause or cure. As in 'Steer clear of Hans today, man--must be a case of male PMS.' "

So which is it? A real disorder based on out-of-control hormone cycles? Or a creative bid for more sex? I suppose if we see Guy Ritchie holed up with a pint of Ben & Jerry's crying through A Walk To Remember then we'll have our answer. In the meantime, I'm seeing a whole new generation of pick-up lines being born.

Comments

[alphadominance]

Regular sex is demonstrably linked to testosterone levels, and the biological imperative of males is to maintain regular sex for a variety of reasons from sperm viability, to ensuring paternity, and maintaining their alpha male status. Without testosterone you won't be an alpha and this is the penultimate goal of men. I don't believe there is a male PMS disorder, the sexual deficiency disorder is more apt, but the real crux of the issue is that if you devote yourself to one woman, and she withholds sex from you, you have been effectively castrated. It doesn't even require a scalpel. If you testosterone levels are suppressed it will act to your detriment in every area of life.
Read more here: http://alphadominance.com/?p=269

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[wedgie]

Factually, many men, myself included, have gone through phases with our wives (or girlfriends) where for one reason or another there is no sex at all. In my case, I can blame it partially on myself and partially on the birth of our son and subsequent breast feeding, depression, long nights etc. And by long periods, I mean, a couple of years...

Whatever the case, I have found that sexuality is the first thing that gets withheld or sidelined when couples are facing challenges. I don't believe Americans have EVER HAD a very healthy view of sex, but these days it seems to me that for women, sex is viewed right up there with snickers bars and lattes. As something that is a luxury that can be done without. While for men, it is a biological function and at times the only way to get past all the hunger and isolation that the modern world instills in us.

Not a pretty combination.

The good news is that if you can get through the years of couples therapy, the endless useless debates and stay together long enough to hear how repetitive and simplistic your own arguments sound, you might get past it all to a place where you and your lover start being truly generous with each other.

If you are lucky enough to get there, well...that's an amazing place. Don't know if I'm there yet in my marriage, but lately...well....hmmmmm.

**

[JedDiamond]

Sexual Deficit Disorder may just be another term for "I possess a Y chromosome," but there is a male version of PMS. It's called IMS or Irritable Male Syndrome.

Based on research with over 60,000 men and reported in the book, The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression, IMS focuses on biochemical changes in the brain, hormonal fluctuations, increased stress, and male-role confusion.

There is a quiz that people can take to see if IMS is a problem. You can take it at IMSquiz.com

[DocManhattan]

Speaking as a man myself ... Yes, it's true, a lack of sex can make you miserable -- and sometimes physically uncomfortable, irritable, all that bad stuff. And, let's be totally clear, masturbation is no substitute. Everyone experiences the sense of well being after sex known as "post-coital glow", but there's no such thing as "post-masturbatory glow".

Trouble is, I doubt anyone can really say what's a healthy frequency of sex for a guy, it varies according to the indiviaual and their age. It does make you wonder whether it isn't way past time to remove the stigma from prostitution and start seeing it as therapy for the sexually deprived.