When I was in my twenties, I flew from Los Angeles to Marbella, Spain, for a holiday at my parent's villa. I was an independent young woman, working as a motion picture literary agent at a large agency.
On my first vacation day, I slathered on the sunscreen and stretched out poolside, like a cat.
To misquote Brian Hyland, I wore an: "itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, sexy leopard skin bikini." My ever-so-chic Parisian aunt had slipped it to me the last time I had seen her and I hadn't dare wear it in LA... too racy, too fashion forward, too Euro at that place in time.
My father actually came out and admonished me: "My dear, you can't wear that thing; we're not running a brothel," he said, with plenty of humor and resolute firmness. "It's not ladylike. Please go and get changed."
That summer, I had to sneak my bikini to the beach. Let's not forget, this was the Costa del Sol, where women frolicked topless. Nonetheless, I would respect my father's wishes at home, but at the beach, well, I was an adult and I drew my line in the sand.
Now this morning, I watch a segment on the NBC Today Show about an Abercrombie & Fitch string bikini, with a padded bra, that's being marketed to girls in the 7-14 year-old age group. To be fair, on the vendor's website, the sizes aren't listed by age, but by S, M, L, EX, with measurements to figure it all out.
The questionable item of clothing is a stripped pink and white string bikini, with a padded top, called the Ashley Push Up Triangle. (Frankly, I take more offense at the name; use your imagination.)
There is a panel of experts, discussing this thing.
But so far as I'm concerned they completely miss the boat. Yes, I wouldn't put a little girl in a padded bikini, with a skinny bottom, but it wouldn't be because I'd worry about her self-image.
Are we so obsessed with self-image and plastic surgery these days that we think young children think like we do: "Mommy look, I have perfect boobs now!"
Let's get real. Is this bikini any different from all the other age-inappropriate clothing out there? Is this bikini going to make our daughters want to grow up and have big boobs? Is this bikini going to give them a terrible complex that they have Smarties-on-a-plate, instead of big jugs, excuse the English expressions?
Girls will think about this stuff irrespective of this bikini; we all did when we were girls.
With all due respect to the journalistic expertise of the NBC Today Show staff and their guest experts, not one person mentioned how dressing our daughters in provocative clothing is an open invitation to sexual predation.
Sexual predators are the culprits in our society, not string bikinis.
If you put a girl in sexy clothing, well, that's just asking for trouble. The child may or may not be aware of looking more like say Britney Spears, but they become an easy target by looking like they do.
So I say worry less about girls developing self-esteem issues and more about girls making it to adulthood without being taken advantage of.
Internet sexual predation is currently in vogue among media circles, but real life sexual predation is out there: at public swimming pools, in country club cabanas and on our beautiful beaches. Be responsible with what you buy for your young girls to wear, swimwear or not.
Not everyone has a father like mine.
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Like the many other social problems we have, I blame the media for convincing little girls that they aren’t good enough or that they have to be like a “perfect” long-legged, flawless skinned celebrity, when they can be unique and be accepted into our society. Media exposes youth to physical enhancements like plastic surgery at a young age, but rarely do you see ads about self-esteem or women empowerment.
Also, we should let kids be kids and not make them grow up as quickly. I personally believe that childhood is too short, with society pressuring them to grow up and mature at too young an age. I’m 15 right now and dreading my sweet sixteen, the day where I suddenly have to become an adult and make responsible choices. I miss those days when the hardest decision was which colour of crayon to use, not whether or not to buy a padded push-up bikini to accentuate my non-existent boobs.
Sex has been cheapened and with it the value men and women place on intimate relationships. That creates a unhealthy environment for establishing stable families which are vital to the welfare of children by all statistical measures.
Girls need to be taught to disarm and develop their personality over their appearance. Their are longterm benefits in that path that extend beyond the short years of peak fertility and attractiveness.
The media is obsessed with sex predators, it's good for ratings. We should focus on the child's character development instead.
They might have self esteem issues too and could use the help until puberty kicks in and testosterone hopefully solves their "problem".
Isn't what the author of this piece stating just another form of 'she was asking for it by the way she was dressed'? I thought we as women were fighting to move past this notion. Now we are going right back to teaching it to our young girls again?
Whenever a person dresses provocatively, it is for one purpose only, and that is to be noticed. I find that the less self esteem a girl/woman has, the more provocatively she dresses. She wants to attract members of the opposite sex to shower them with attention because she feels that she has no self worth. Let's face it we all dress for each other, good or bad. As a mother of a middle schooler, I and the teachers can attest to this. The entertainment industry is a big on sex sells - if you don;t have talent sex it up to make
Perhaps there is a market for this.
The parents that choose to buy this product for their children have a choice.
Parents have a choice to control and discipline their children.
Tea Party America seems to want free capitalism and, paradoxically, to simultaneously control our bodies, minds, thoughts, actions, etc.
It's nice that you father loved you enough to discipline you and, at least while he could, try to have you act like a lady.
Not necessarily adults. But kids do. They want to be "pretty" and "beautiful" like their idols who dress those ways. They see how much attention celebrities get when they dress scantily, whether it's a dress, bikini, or lingerie, and they envy that.
But we need to do it anyway.
If you put a girl in sexy clothing, well, that's just asking for trouble."
Lady, thou doth double speak. These sentences are back to back in your senseless diatribe. What is the message? Here it is: LOOK AT ME!!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!!!
"In Kali Yuga, girls, 8-10 years old shall become pregnant while boys of the age of 10-12 years shall have children. On the sixteenth year itself the hair will turn white. Youth shall become alike old men and old men shall become energetic and youthful."
http://www.info-sikh.com/PageYuga.html
The Kali Yuga is traditionally thought to last 432,000 years.
I'm guessing there were 3 to 4 billion people on Earth when the author was walking around in her bikini. We are closing in on 7 billion this July I think. People don't seem to understand that as you get more people you get more crazies. No, I'm not letting the crazies off the hook. I'm trying to relate what is *really* going on.
Why do people dress at all? Well to increase their sexual attractiveness of course. People have been doing this for hundreds of years at least, if not longer. What almost no one seems to understand is that the days of sexual attractiveness aren't needed anymore. We have TOO MANY PEOPLE.
No one needs a bikini. We really don't need to be laid anymore. We all need to tale a really cold shower until world population gets back down to about a billion or so, and that is going to take a long time.
When all these behaviors started that was a possibility or at least our genes thought it was. In the 21st century if everyone wore the 'sharkskin' swimsuits the pregnancy rate and the molestation rate probably wouldn't change that much.
But it might change some......
To prove my point further who was going topless? it looks like the people with the lowest fertility rate........