Since my father's death a year and a half ago, I have been to 10 funerals and I have mourned countless young deaths. I think the number was up to 22 young deaths of people I knew within the last year and a half. 23 months ago, on my birthday, I went to visit my uncle, and before our visit was over, he died in front of me. What does it mean when you witness death on the day you were born? I had never observed human death before yet in the last year I have observed it three times.
Two and half years ago after visiting dear friends in New York, I learned their three-year-old daughter, whom I had licked lollipops with just days before had been tragically killed by a bus. Over and over I have faced my mortality the way a stealth blizzard creeps into the sky. Death has swarmed into many unsuspecting friends and family members who were not expecting chaos and pain to jolt their lives beyond recognition.
What does this all mean? I have struggled to see the point to this pain that I have been selected to experience. It's not like I am in my 80s and should expect this sort of human inevitability. I have tried so hard to make sense of it, but it seems senseless. Is this G-d's way of telling me he's here and can strike us at any moment? I get it, he's in the driver's seat and we are powerless beings sitting shotgun. I know You don't appreciate us being your backseat driver, but sometimes it would seem as though you need a little direction.
Do you get lonely and want one of us to keep you company? In the end do we eventually get the answers once we're in Heaven?
Are we to learn fear? G-d I'm afraid. I'm afraid You always get the last laugh. I'm afraid that I have lost my innocent child inside me that always believed life was made up of sparkly cookies and Disney rides. I'm not afraid You don't exist, I am afraid that You do.
Are we to learn pain? What is the lesson in learning pain? Is this what You feel when one of us forgets to have our daily conversations with you? Is this what You feel when You give one of us life and our soul only revels in corporeal pursuits? Do You feel lonely and in pain when we get here and ignore our soul that shines inside our bodies as it pulses with vitality?
Is life only here to teach us that the point to all of existence is to learn how to coexist with pain and merriment?
In the last decade, the world has taken witness to terrorist attacks on 9/11 and Mumbai, Genocide in Darfur, Hurricane Katrina, the Tsunami in Indonesia and the earthquake/tsunami/radiation disaster in Japan. We have all seen loss and we have all been exposed to pain, but why is it that we cannot make it make sense?
Maybe if we had a trailer that showed us what goes on, on the other side it wouldn't be so painful. It's the mystery that's a killer. Can't I get a cable channel giving me access to the other world? Then I wouldn't miss my loved ones as much. I could move on, let it go, live without pain while I watched Pepsi commercials featuring Heaven's latest cola celebrity followed by "Non-Survivor" where everyone I love ends up.
And why are we born with the notion that we will last forever and when we lose a loved one we become disillusioned? We all know nothing lasts forever, and yet we are still so rocked with shock and awe. I am not mad at G-d for creating death, I am mad at G-d for creating my belief in immortality.
The fact that my ego rejects "gone forever" unnerves me. Why does it need to hold onto forever? Why can't it unravel the mystery of impermanence? I would like my ego to take a hiatus from believing in happily ever after. It is really disrupting my groove. This disillusion is what creates my grief. It allows a grieving mother to have a vacant look in her eye as she grapples with her ability to witness creation and destruction simultaneously in her lifetime.
Then again, it also forces us to search for meaning. It drives us to seek purpose. It is G-d's little sneaky way of getting us up in the morning to find an AA meeting, write a song, lend a hand to someone else who fights his or her own demons. It can be the one formula to create internal change and enlightenment if channeled correctly.
But why this model? G-d couldn't you have substituted death with something else? Couldn't we learn those things without all the drama? G-d why the drama? From here, it looks like you've become the Director of the ultimate reality show called "The Biggest Loser." In this case, those of us who get chosen to participate actually gain weight. Have you ever seen the amount of food served in a Shiva house? Even Christian mourners follow their funerals with a house full of high caloric snacks.
Years ago a sister of mine fought for her life in an illness that the doctors were sure would take her life by the time she was two. I remember having these same questions while sitting in the hospital day after day waiting for a miracle. Our faith had been tested each day as we failed to get good news that her health had improved. The very important lesson I learned during those years was that we are G-d's children, and we are allowed, no we are entitled to kick and scream at G-d if he hurts our children. One afternoon I remember my mother locking herself in her bedroom and screaming on the top of her lungs "Leave my children alone!!" I will never forget that moment, a) because it was sort of funny, and b) because it taught me a lesson that I can have a conversation with G-d that looks like this one.
We are not supposed to just take it. We are not supposed to turn our back on G-d when we are angry. We are supposed to fight for life -- because fighting promotes dialogue and dialogue promotes connection, and eventually that pain becomes a vehicle for true joy. Just ask anyone who's ever listened to Eric Clapton's "Tears of Heaven." The joy in his voice over the memory of his son sings to the highest gates of Heaven.
I will keep on singing. I will sing and create and evolve and make a lot of noise here on earth- and I won't give up until G-d swoops his arms down here and casts me in his Heaven cola ad.
Follow Chava Tombosky on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mybigfatjewlife
Reading the comments below, however, made me wonder how people can get so caught up in their bizarre beliefs that they think their minds have unlocked the secrets of the universe, and they have the right to be mean to others who do not have direct knowledge of God's innermost thoughts. They seem to want everyone else to burn in Hell for eternity. So hateful.
Again, interesting and thought provoking read.
With millions of years of existence there is maybe a 50,000 year opportunity window to enjoy the creature man's development in the finast form of space travel:incarnation.
Star Trek fans know all about the Prime Directive: no interference with the internal development of alien civilizations.
Will we evolve towards restoration where communion is restored and the spiritual infusion heals all aches and pains and the human race is spurred to do good and evil becomes unthinkable? Death as a natural passage to prepare for new space adventures?
Maybe. Until then, the survival camp has its merits
Consider: When the whole mess unfolded in the Garden of Eden, the challenge was never about God’s power. The challenge was about God’s right to rule as sovereign over his creations. Now both spirit and human creatures had revolted against their sovereign taking it upon themselves to rule themselves.
So the stage was set for the challenge to be answered. If it had been about power, what do you think God would have done? He would have shown who was more powerful and the matter settled long ago. But the challenge now involved humans having to choose God as their sovereign even making this choice at the cost of their lives. This challenge is a legal one and it cannot be closed until all the evidence is heard and considered.
To understand the disdain that the devil has for humans can be seen in his words to God at Job 2: 4: “Skin in behalf of skin, and everything a man has he will give in behalf of his soul.” He thinks we are all disloyal.
God said no. God knew humans would be capable of unconditional love and loyalty and would want to serve him regardless of the reward.
The three Hebrews at Daniel 3: 17-18 had the right attitude, when they said they would be loyal to God no matter if it meant their death.
"God knew humans would be capable of undonditional love and loyalt." To bad the same cannot be said about you God.
But, as with all living things, a man is compelled to give. He gives his life.
Man capable of unconditional love?
What is he truly capable but to receive unconditional love.
Also death is a very important aspect in the way in which it signifies a change of state. When someone close to you dies for instance, death strips you down into a vulnerability. It is this situation where you start to reflect on you perspectives in life. This could include what one wants to do with their life, the acceptance of mortality, the importance of faith, etc. It really gets you to think about the big questions which is important since you won't last forever.
If the fear (awe) of heaven is the beginning of wisdom where does this fear begin?
Contemplation of the impermanence of things just for some of us might lead to the beginning of wisdom.
Wycliffe Bible (WYC)
He said these things [These things he saith], and after these things he saith to them, Lazarus, our friend, sleepeth, but I go to raise him from sleep.
Therefore his disciples said, Lord, if he sleepeth, he shall be safe. [Therefore his disciples said, Lord, if he sleeps, he shall be safe.]
But Jesus had said of his death; but they guessed, that he said of [the] sleeping of sleep. Then therefore Jesus said to them openly, Lazarus is dead;"
If the terms of the kidnapping has brought an overabundance of sadness and problems, the payment of the ransom guarantees an overabundance of happiness and harmony.
We have to dig deep, very deep to find the permanence that undergirds this reality.
We must die to this world (that is, sever our attachments to its appearances).
But to do this requires going into ourselves to search for the meaning of our existence to discover what truly matters..
John 11:25-26
English Standard Version (ESV)
"Jesus said to her, (A)“I am the resurrection and (B)the life.[a] Whoever believes in me, (C)though he die, (D)yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me (E)shall never die. Do you believe this?”
Drop all creeds.
And then investigate the matter of our lives.
Dig deep and wrestle with the questions that really concern us.
And then what do you find?
Rest with the questions.
So, is it unreasonable to think this is a bit, well, far fetched? You don't remember the billions of years before you existed, why would you need to be conscious of the billions of years that occur after you're dead? You know, the "ego" that makes it uncomfortable to consider non-existence is essentially your self-orientation. You filter the stimuli of life from a perspective of an individual human. Yet, there's actually a part of the brain stem that, when damaged, removes people's ability to possess this orientation. Check out the video below to learn more.
https://www.ted.com/talks/antonio_damasio_the_quest_to_understand_consciousness.html
What would life be without these mysteries of life?
Suppose we were absolutely perfect in every way? A little reflection would reveal we would not exist as unique souls but all think alike, act alike, be alike, etc. What kind of life and world would that be?
What is the price of every soul being a unique soul? That uniqueness is a process that has a starting point from a spark of awareness to greater and greater awareness, but at a price.
That price is full of life’s struggles, hardships, and yes even much suffering but also joy and wonderment, and the more awareness the greater the joy, bliss, and creativity, i.e. gods in the making thing.
Follow a 4 year old around and see that wonderment, it is worth your time and effort.
Every advanced spiritual teacher that I know of has stated this journey of the soul from a spark of awareness to greater awareness is worth it.
We humans are only at the starting gate in this journey to greater awareness. More to come stay tuned. Actually we don’t have a choice do we? We are expressions of that that is; we don’t have the freedom not to express.
Second, how is it disrespectful to a Jew, to mention a Jew who was their Messiah, who taught exactly what I wrote to other Jews? What is disrespectful is the blatant hostility you show in your post and your commitment to censoring speech. In many parts of the world people die to share the very things I wrote, words that comfort and give hope to millions.
Open your mind and get some perspective.
there can be no spiritual death as all are spirits. we can live as if we are separate from god and that would be a form of hell on earth and beyond.
all fear has one common trait. ignorance. ie unawareness of our divine being.
one can only imagine what we do to children to tell them they may spend enternity in hell if they dont believe as we believe; this is as self centered and destructive to their mental health as one can get.
our prisons are overflowing with inmates with mental issues. could our religious beliefs be a cause of much these mental issues?
Our prisons are overflowing because people make bad choices. This is due to Sin. Our religious beliefs may cause many of these issues, but Jesus is not the cause...but the answer.