At some of my most recent speaking engagements people have told me, "You have such an incredible life" or "You must be so happy with how terrific everything has worked out" or "It seems like you have it all!" Sure, it might seem like that to observers. And yes, I'm SUPER grateful for how everything in my life has landed. But that doesn't mean everything is perfect, either. That doesn't mean I'm ecstatic with my entire personal and professional accomplishments 24/7.
I admit it... there has always been tough stuff in the biggest wins. Some of my highest highs are followed by my lowest lows, when I feel like it's just not enough.
For example, when I excepted my award for "Top 40 Under 40," I was so honored and overwhelmed at being a part of this group. But in the same breath, I wondered how I could be better. That accomplishment simply wasn't enough for me. I needed more.
The truth is that there are times when all of us go through the motions of something (either personally or professionally) and like me, at times we all feel really small and insignificant. I often feel like I'm not contributing enough, and that also makes me feel small or unworthy, as well. There are also times in business where I wonder where to go next, and I feel scared and once again, so incredibly small and undeserving.
I have to imagine that I'm not the only one that feels this way from time to time. But, it really puts me in a funk, so I try to not let my mind go there. But sometimes feeling small just happens anyway.
I've heard people say that deep thinkers visualize the whole picture. They take into consideration the entire world's problems, and find themselves feeling small, defeated and frustrated. Maybe there's truth to it. Maybe that's just how it is meant to be. But unfortunately, it's an ongoing struggle for me when I am in this big playing field and feel lost... and small.
Sometimes it even happens in my personal relationship. If I don't contribute enough financially to my relationship (even when I give emotionally with my whole heart) I still feel small. I feel inadequate. I feel like it's not enough. I can also apply the same to my business life. I contribute my whole self, my whole heart... but when I have to put my business hat on and contribute that way, I feel small. When I feel like my business growth should be more rapid and not as organic as it has been the past nine years, once again I feel small.
I'm constantly second-guessing myself. Thinking I'm not enough.
But what is enough? Will there ever be enough? Maybe so. Maybe not.
Perhaps today, I'll just be okay with feeling small and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day to play bigger and say 'screw you' to the pressure of feeling like I have to be anything more than what I already am.
Today I want to remind you that... YOU ARE ENOUGH. There is no reason to make yourself feel small. And next time you are feeling small, instead of dwelling on it, think of what Mother Teresa said, "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
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