My kids are starting to get a little nervous when we discuss politics. In fact, they prefer we don't. It's not that they don't care -- they do. Three of our four kids can vote, and the fourth knows whom she would vote for if she could. They all have opinions, and know, in general strokes, what's going on. But lately, the stress generated by political discussions, and the discomfort that is caused by watching the sarcasm and mockery delivered by aggressive news coverage of political discussions, is becoming palpable.
My husband and I used to be united in our beliefs, and pretty consistent in our approval or disapproval of candidates. Our monetary support of the political system has mostly swung to the middle -- okay sometimes toward the left, and has, with a few notable exceptions, been staunchly democrat. But things have shifted. The clarity we once felt has been replaced by a confusing fog of guesswork, hope, and what if's. The dinner table can be a battlefield of overlapping and opposing beliefs. There are plenty of emotional debates that end up feeling a little too much like arguments. Thank God we love each other, and have never let these "discussions" escalate into bad feelings between us. But still -- it's strange.
And our household is not alone. I've heard of friends throwing tantrums. Intelligent individuals, who can normally make it through a dinner party with all their manners intact, are getting into screaming matches, throwing down their napkins, and leaving the table. Not admirable behavior obviously, but perhaps under the circumstances understandable, and maybe even inevitable. This election is important to us all; everything is at stake, and there are no perfect answers.
I am an idealist. I dream that people can all come around the campfire. And even if they can't sing Kumbaya, at least they can find a way to communicate. But then, I woke up. Clearly such a utopia doesn't exist. There are murderers in the world that hate us so much that they'd blow themselves up just to take some of us down with them. It's a mindset that is so incomprehensible to me that I can barely wrap my mind around it. Yet, this hatred started with a difference in opinion; a polar opposite way of thinking, and the refusal to respect or acknowledge the coexistence of a difference in beliefs.
When opinions clash, when individuals don't agree -- and in fact take polar opposite stances, it's hard to find a calm, respectful, peaceful place, and it is unnerving. I know our kids feel it -- and I'm not talking about family debates. I'm talking about the bigger picture. I mean, if we can't find the middle ground and get along here in our own country, how can we expect to export our brand of government, our concept of peace -- our virtuous vision to the world at large? How can we be taken seriously out there if we're so divisive in here?
I'm not going to get into any more debates. The truth is, I don't have all the information I need to unequivocally make my case. I need to hear more nitty-gritty details, straight answers, and presidential thoughtfulness. I want to know how our candidates will ensure that our unique and special nation will continue to be strong and able to defend herself and her allies. How exactly. Since much of our strength comes from leadership and diplomacy, I want to get a feeling in my gut that the next president is going to be capable of mending botched friendships, and forging new ones. I want to feel confident that our president (and our congress) will be clever enough and bold enough to take an unwavering, mighty stance against braggart nations that would seek our destruction or the destruction of our allies. And then I'd like to know how that stance would manifest itself, because throwing our weight around like a top dog isn't working.
I'm worried sick that our government, as big and unwieldy as it is, has lost its way in terms of marshalling efforts for the greater good of all our citizens. In fact, the Republican message lately has been that Washington is broken. Perhaps it is. But the way this message is being delivered implies that the current Republican candidates have nothing to do with this. Hello, get real. Are you forgetting the last eight years? You all have a part in this. We all have a part in this.
It's true that our government has wasted a lot of money. How many times have we read about the millions of dollars wasted by bureaucratic inefficiency? What about the millions apparently lost in Iraq and the fact that it took so long for our soldiers to get the proper armaments and protection? We need to take a harder look at how our national bank account is being managed. And that management will depend on the ideology of our leaders. Take for example, the $1.5 billion the U.S. has spent in the last ten years on abstinence-only-until-marriage programs. Mounting evidence has proven again and again that these programs don't work; yet the money keeps pouring into them. Come on.
And here's another twist. Though there are certainly programs that should be scrapped, there are other costs that should be covered. How, for example, will our next president impact the funding for crime investigations? Will cities and states charge victims for investigatory work? What about rape kits and forensic examinations for rape and assault? Should these items be billed to insurance companies? To the victims themselves? Please. This is ridiculous.
No matter who wins the prized position, I hope Governor Sarah Palin will apologize for her aggressive mockery of Senator Obama for his participation in community activism and reform, because all of us who do volunteer work, and who give back to and advocate for our communities think it is important, valid work. She's a community activist too, apparently, so why the put-down? The good news is that both Senator Obama and Senator McCain encourage civil service, community service and volunteerism as one of the ways to get our country back on track.
But that said, how would our next president deal with the serious issue of healthcare, and disease prevention? Individual donors and private philanthropy alone can't fix the problem. Cancer kills 565,000 Americans a year - more than any war. Estimates show that cancer costs the U.S. economy $200 billion a year in lost productivity. Will our new administration encourage NIH to fund more cancer research? Will we have an administration that understands the value, validity and necessity of stem-cell research, or will we be thwarted by ideological differences that hold us back, or worse, take us back?
See? I said I have a lot of questions. Now I'm waiting to hear the answers.
Follow Cheryl Saban Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/csaban
Sure was another wonderful essay/post, one thing is sure, we, (all of us) are riding some rough seas and are in the same boat, it will be sink or swim, there is *no* middle, that's a simple truth. You want answers, from others? The answer to all questions can need only be one at this point in time "Change Course Now", iceberg straight ahead, full stop! Then we can chart a new course, together, one woman or man cannot do it alone.
Senator John McCain's plan is "Straight ahead" full power "the boat can't sink with me at the helm, trust me."
What exactly is the question that you don't have the answer to? More choices? Why? More plans? Why?
When one finds them-self in a deep hole, first move is to STOP DIGGING, before the hole caves in on ya.
Agape.
I'm convinced that the USA is the reincarnation of the Roman Empire anyway, so someday an American Caesar will sweep our republic away and all this angst will be a memory.
Ah! But Democrats and the last few moderate Republicans see social service and volunteerism as a way to AUGMENT helping those in serious need. Neo-Con Republicans see social service and volunteerism as the ALERNATIVE to taxing all to help all--not just "one of the ways".
No American in need should have to rely only on volunteers. As truly wonderful as civilian volunteers are, they can't replace the National Guard or the Coast Guard, stem an epidemic, assure fairness in hiring or in the marketplace, prevent buildings from collapsing due to shoddy workmanship, nor reliably provide the sheer scope of financial assistance required after a catastrophe. Only government can do that, and--in a democracy--we are the government. Paying taxes at set, graduated rates may not feel like donating to a really worthy cause, but it is. Those who fight to shrink government just to keep their own taxes artificially low are the moral equivalent of old time draft dodgers--only, more numerous.
Where the heck do these knuckleheads think money for roads, railroads, sewer systems, water systems, electricity and phone lines to all, military, postal service, doctors for rural area, research (that has fueled many new industries), comes from? How is thier little bit that they get to keep would pay for them to provide themselves with these things and how effective? It is by poolong monies we can afford to get the big stuff done. Why shouldn't those who have benefited most from those things pay the most?
Don't tell me business doesn't depend on educated workers, roads, water, sewers, military, police, fire, etc. YouJUST WANT A FREE RIDE and so we have national debt of 10,000,000,000 and that may reach 17,000,000,000 before the results from Bush years completely resolves. Don't tax & still spend Golly Miss molly that is SO SILLY
However, I can damn sure guarantee you that the extra effort on your part will be well worth your time Let's just say that you won't be lacking in arguments to make your case for a safer and more secure America, ready to restore its credibility in the world and regain its global leadership role.
This just happened to me on Friday night! You're right, it IS getting scary. I sat across from rich smug friends (?) Republicans, women (!!) singing the praises of Sarah Palin. And I HATE them. I don't want to see them anymore.
I have the large Obama HOPE sign in a window of my home. The other day I heard a woman walk by & say out loud: "Hope?" "Yea, HOPE he DOESN't get elected!" I ran out of my house to get a look at her. Holding a baby, 2 small toddlers & obviously expecting another baby soon. I wanted to shake the living daylights out of her. WHY would you say that? Are we voting for MOTHER OF THE YEAR or President of the Untied States? Is it because Obama is black & you're a racist? What?? What is it?
Is it stil the obsessive focus on the single ABORTION issue? What about the other positions that make one Pro-Life.
I don't have any answers. But at this, the most perilous time in our history, I don't wish to speak to anyone who can defend the past 8 years of treachery & wishes to continue the disastrous policies of G.W. Bush where the rich GOT RICHER & the country went to hell.
My parents (77) and I (52) share different world views. While my father was the head of the Amsterdam City Police Force Financial Department, we had our differences - he would end up in city council meetings defending the expenses on riot gear and I would be in demonstrations *testing* that gear (30 years ago).
Yet our voting patterns were very close: They'd vote for progressive Christian parties (close to the left), while I would vote for parties slightly left of those.
In a multi-party (as opposed to dual-party) this will be the norm. That doesn't mean that you will forgo all discussion at home, but at least you'll miss the most acerbic, and be able to talk about *issues*.