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Cheryl Saban Ph.D.

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Living Life as a Refugee

Posted: 06/21/11 12:50 AM ET

June 20th is the date that many countries have assigned to recognize Refugees -- to honor their courage, to bring awareness to their difficulties, to shine a light on their sorrow. This date has become particularly well-known in Africa, and is known as "Africa Refugee Day," but I'm sure there are several other important dates and observances meant to bring attention to this cause as well -- and there should be. This isn't a situation anyone asks for -- "No one wants to become a Refugee," as Secretary-General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-Moon has poignantly stated.

When I first began to write this piece, I started in my usual way. I was going to address the subject from a woman's advocate perspective. From that point of view, there are plenty of reasons to be concerned. Refugees are at risk. It is known that they face murder, rape and terror. And if not these horrible options, these individuals face uncertainty, fear and illiteracy. But before I could finish writing my piece, I received a letter from a friend, who works with refugees. I thought it would be much more powerful for you to read something firsthand from a young woman who has experienced the hardships of life as a Refugee.

And so, hereunder is a letter from Grace.

***

My name is Grace Freeman and I'm 21-years-old. Today is World Refugee Day -- and it's the first one in my life I will not spend as a refugee.

When I was 8-months-old, my family fled the civil war in Liberia. We made our way to the country of Ghana, where we lived in the sprawling camp of Buduburam Refugee Settlement with 40,000 other refugees.

Life in the camp was hard. We slept on the ground when we first arrived, drinking water from mud puddles. There were snakes and many other dangers. As the time passed, we got tents and then were able to build small houses but life wasn't much easier. Our father left. Our mother tried to find food for us. I always begged my mom to let me go to school but it wasn't free and we couldn't pay. Finally my mother gave me to an important "big woman" in the camp, who promised to send me to the camp school.

At the age of 7, I left my family's small tin house and moved in with the important lady. She had been rich back in Liberia. Her larger tin house sheltered her many children and grandchildren. I was happy to finally get a chance to learn. But my dream quickly became dark.

Instead of sending me to school, she made me her servant. The words for this in my culture are "outside child". I was beaten and made to work long hours caring for her family. I learned to make fires, fetch water, scrub clothes, carry large cookpots full of hot food to sell on the road to make money for the woman, who forced me to call her "Mommy." I wore the same two dresses for years. I would sleep in both of them to stay warm, on the floor of the house. I was not allowed to be called Grace, only Dog. She told me I was a "born slave."

I was allowed to see my real mother sometimes but if I ever complained to her, I knew she would go to the important lady to complain and then I would get a beating. I knew my mother could not feed me, even if I came home. And sometimes the woman would let me go to school for a few hours, which I wanted more than anything. Usually though, she made me stay home or go work on the road.

One day, I had a chance for freedom and I took it. I gathered my courage and finally ran to someone to help me. By then, my mother had passed away and I was 18-years-old. For the first time in my life, I spoke out and told the world, "No, I will not be a slave. I am not an outside child. I am Grace."

I tell you this for one reason today: to ask that when you think about refugees and the lives they are forced into, please remember what put them there. Before being a slave, before losing my mother -- my troubles began with war. Most refugee troubles begin with anger and guns and scared people running. If we are talking of helping refugees, let us first talk of helping to keep people from BECOMING refugees.

Somewhere today there is a girl who has a home in a troubled land. Maybe war will come there, maybe not. Maybe she will lose her home and her mother and all she knows. But maybe -- if we focus on finding peace and removing guns from the hands of people who destroy life -- maybe she will live in her home, with her own mother, for as long as she wants. It's up to us.
My name is Grace. I am not a refugee. But I speak for those who might one day be."

Grace Freeman is 21-years-old and a Fellow of Strongheart Fellowship, a healing & learning program for exceptional young people from extreme circumstances. www.unhcr.org World Refugee Day. Don't forget.

 

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02:43 PM on 06/22/2011
Thanks for this article about other human beings. We need to be aware. What a terrible existence for some of these women...Women with resources should be aware of this and strive to help in any way we can.
08:53 AM on 06/22/2011
My original post did not get up, maybe because of the link?

There's a brilliant documentary on SBS TV Australia showing 6 Aussies who live the lives of refugees for 25 days.

It's intelligent, compassionate and moving. It's called "GoBackWhereYouCameFrom" and you can watch online.
08:17 AM on 06/22/2011
P.S.

It's called "Go Back Where You Came From"
08:17 AM on 06/22/2011
http://www.sbs.com.au/shows/goback/episodes/page/i/1/h/Episodes/

This documentary shows 6 Australians living the experience of refugees for 25 days.

I's brilliant, moving, and insightful.

Highly recommended.
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Dredd
Our government is a wartocracy.
11:42 AM on 06/21/2011
Doctor Saban,

Perhaps we would all feel closer if we could realize that we all, as a species, are refugees in this solar system?

http://ecocosmology.blogspot.com/2009/09/tenet-one-basics.html
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
William50
11:19 AM on 06/21/2011
To protect and keep safe these people, families and large religious or racial tribal groups demands soooo much more then food, shelter and medicine it requires warriors to protect them. I understand in these days of bad military, or it is because of the evil military actions we have these groups. The other side of the coin is a strong militia protecting against the government or protecting the camps is more a determent to the continued attacks then three ladies shouting NO!
Across the world government try very very hard to remove weapons from the hands of the people with the statement that the government will protect you. This is something like a gang breaking down your door and calling 911, yes there will be a response, too late where a shotgun blast threw the door would have ended the attack. When the racial, tribal and religious attacks begin what protects the people in their homes or leaving is a well trained home force.
10:32 AM on 06/21/2011
In 1948-49, for a variety of reasons, around half a million Arabs fled nascent Israel, which was under attack at that time. These refugees were placed into squalid, dismal camps and left as wards of UN charity. Unlike every other refugee population of the 20th century--say, India/Pakistan--these people were not offered resettlement, citizenship, or opportunities to build new lives. Rather, certain Arab League nations fed them a diet of hatred and dangled the promise of a 'right of return' over them. To this very day, the largest populations of Arab refugees, AND THEIR DESCENDENTS, are still in those UN camps...in some Arab League nations. It's time that the world stopped lying to them, opened up those camps, and finally offered them resettlement, homes, jobs, and chances to build a viable, peaceful, prosperous future...just like every OTHER refugee group of the past century.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
arkymorgan
Nobody knows the trouble I've been...
11:34 AM on 06/21/2011
I agree.

Nothing breeds hatred and violence like the lack of hope. Nothing replaces propaganda like education, and nothing conquers fear, hunger and disease like a chance at freedom, security and food.
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DefunctRepublic
We're not scaremongering, this is really happening
03:48 PM on 06/21/2011
Gaza itself is basically a decades-old refugee camp, where brutality and despair are the norms, and advanced military oversee all day-to-day activity, guaranteeing a place more secure than Fort Knox. Secure in the sense of keeping a minority hopeless oppressed. The Palestinians are the longest-standing group of refugees in the world, but certain foreign policy interests (like AIPAC and those it contributes campaign dollars to) would have us believe that the majority of these destitute people are simply the foot soldiers of Hamas, the new distributor's of the "diet of hatred" as you so succinctly put it. This continued oppression is directly contrary to the most basic human rights and should make those who work to guarantee human rights internationally for groups like the UN ashamed.
02:22 AM on 06/22/2011
Egypt ran Gaza from 1948 to 1967 with an iron fist. When Israel captured the strip, the Israelis tried to build decent housing to move the refugees out of the camps; the UNRWA forbade this and kept the refugees IN those horrid camps. Hamas runs the Gaza Strip today, while Israel and Egypt control the frontier. An interesting question: Why won't Hamas and the PA start housing construction to empty the camps under their jurisdiction in Gaza and the West Bank? And why won't the Arab world allow resettlement of the millions of Palestinian refugees living in camps in their nations? Mighty interesting, that.
09:29 AM on 06/21/2011
we should give our hands for the refugees who are in danger,the governmnet,the orgnizations should do more,nobody should avoid as well