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Cheryl Saban Ph.D. Headshot

Loving Life, Loving Others, Loving Ourselves

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Valentine's Day is upon us. No matter that this day seems to have veered into the dangerous "over commercialized" zone, it's safe to assume that most of us conjure up feelings -- positive and negative, of love, companionship, comfort, and romance on or around February 14th. Do you have a lover or are you alone? Have you lost a loved-one, or have you recently coupled with somebody you hope will be the one? Are you hopeful about love and affection or have you been hurt so much that you're afraid to love again?

Ahh, the questions. At the end of the day, if we're honest about it, love is something we all crave. We yearn for it, search for it, and we struggle for it. Yet, since it is something we want so badly, how can we attract more of it into our lives? How can we give more of it to others?

Well, consider this: when we think with love, act with love, and speak with love, we're much more apt to get those vibrations and reactions bounced back to us. Sound a little bit too new-age? Not at all. New Age has grown up to middle age, so embrace it. This concept of you getting what you give has been around for ages, and shows up in songs and stories all the time. Consider the Beatles -- "...and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make." You know what? It's true. Love works. Thinking, acting, and speaking with love can turn around a loveless and seemingly hopeless situation. Okay, it may take time -- but if you put positive energy and effort out there, there's no doubt that you'll reap rewards. Care. Bring flowers to each other just because. Say "I love you." Show someone that you love them by smiling, touching, caressing. Have grace. Show grace!

Keep stoking the fire -- building the passion, sending big and small messages of love and affection. If you're married, remember that marriage isn't ownership -- it's partnership. Nurture it ...continue to be unconditionally loving, compassionate, and interested in your relationship, as time slips by. Learn to be tolerant of your differences, and respect them -- embrace them.

Thinking, speaking and acting with love suggests that you allow your heart to remain open. A big part of being able to love others, is the ability to love and respect yourself. You can't really attract the love you're looking for, until you are able to accept yourself as the worthwhile individual you are. Open your heart not only to others, but to the authentic sense of you. And trust me, when you do so, you will feel cupid's arrow that much more acutely. To lovers everywhere, I wish you a happy Valentine's Day.

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