Be Wary, Be Wary, the 10th of February: "A" for Anonymous Wants to Kick Scientology's "S"

Let me start off by paraphrasing a popular disclaimer: I'm not "Anonymous," nor am I affiliated with the mysterious internet group in any way.

That said, as a fan of The X Files I love a good conspiracy theory, which means that the recent antics of the shadowy entity known only as "Anonymous" have admittedly piqued my interest. In deference to those who just stepped out of a bathysphere, Anonymous is the name that's been adopted by a self-proclaimed collective of hackers and supposedly pissed-off average folks for the purpose of meting out justice via the internet -- and it's now declared war on Scientology. Two weeks ago, the group launched the first salvo in what it says will be an extended campaign to bring down the controversial "church"; it released an eerie video message attacking Scientology's tactics and promising retaliation for what it claims is a history of lies and generally sinister behavior on the part of the organization. To its credit I guess, Anonymous didn't keep anyone waiting: It launched a series of coordinated denial of service attacks on the official Scientology website almost immediately, effectively shutting it down. This was supposedly followed by prank phone calls and "black fax" transmissions to Scientology offices across the country.

At least two more videos have been released by Anonymous since its initial declaration of hostilities, one promising a global protest at Scientology centers on February 10th.

Needless to say, the normally confident Scientology big shots, who've raised damage control through vindictive litigation to an art form, suddenly find themselves in an amusing PR bind: If they dismiss Anonymous as a bunch of pathetic computer geeks -- which they already have, word for word -- they appear hopelessly arrogant; If they take the group seriously, they give it power; if they just ignore it altogether, they look stupid.

In other words, for all their supposed higher-brain functions, compliments of L. Ron Hubbard's questionable teachings, they can't win this one.

A group of internet savvy kid vigilantes has, to some extent, already beaten them.

The question some are asking though is whether Anonymous has crossed the line -- whether, in its battle to expose Scientology, it's engaging in the same kind of underhanded tactics it accuses the church of. The founder of one popular anti-Scientology website, Operation Clambake, has already criticized the group's supposed skulduggery, claiming that it'll only put Scientologists in a position to play the religious persecution card.

Maybe, but honestly -- who cares?

Almost since its inception as an organization, Scientology has been involved in one unscrupulous scheme or another -- at various points guilty of fraud, exploitation of its adherents for financial gain, and the illegal infiltration of government agencies. It's upheld the basic edict of its paranoid narcissist founder and set out to destroy its critics through intimidation, innuendo and impossibly dirty tricks. It was once called the "most lucrative cult the country has ever seen" by the Cult Awareness Network, a watchdog group which was eventually taken over by associates of the Church of Scientology. The whole thing, including the silly cosmology that serves as the basis for Scientology's belief system -- the kind of nonsense only a hack sci-fi writer could dream up -- would be laughable if it weren't so damn scary.

Anonymous claims that it was the Church of Scientology's efforts to suppress the recently leaked and utterly surreal video tribute to Tom Cruise which led to its decision to take action. Admittedly, watching Cruise -- looking not simply crazy but dangerously crazy -- spouting Hubbard's official-sounding acronymic lingo and making ex cathedra declarations of "no mercy" for psychiatrists is as mesmerizing as it is frightening. He almost seems like he's channeling his Frank T.J. Mackey character from Magnolia, demanding that we all "respect the crock."

The problem of course is that if you say any of this too loudly, the church will have no compunction about removing the choke collar from its legal pit bulls, which is what makes the mischievous guerilla attacks of Anonymous tough not to enjoy a little -- provided they never cross the line into the realm of genuine terrorism.

The bottom line: It's kind of satisfying to watch someone turn the tables on Scientology, using the same brand of furtive cloak-and-dagger absurdity to publicly shame an adversary that the church has used for decades.

If the Scientology people knew who to file a lawsuit against, you can bet it would've already happened.

That's why it's so much fun that they're left chasing shadows.

 

Follow Chez Pazienza on Twitter: www.twitter.com/chezpazienza

Comments

[flanardiente]

Somebody once asked me if I thought it was true, that Bob Heinlein and L Ron Hubbard had ever made a bet about who could create a modern religion.

I said, no, I doubted it. Bob Heinlein didn't hang out with hack writers.

[Aeros]

Conspiracy and Espionage against the United States Government, Cite "Classified" Scientology documents for "OPERATION SNOW WHITE" and the court case United States vs. Mary Sue Hubbard.

Conspiracy to commit murder, in the case of Lisa McPherson. A vicious scientology Legal attack managed to discredit the county medical examiner, folding the case. Google that for the details.

And people wonder why Germany states Scientology is "A Totalitarian Organisation that Poses a threat to democracy" and orders the state police to monitor them. Meanwhile, Holly celebs brow beat the US State Department to Protest Germanies resistence to Scientology EVERY YEAR.

What are YOUR Crimes Scientology? Too many to list in one post.

[Dunnage]

If you have a specific charge against Scientology please state the damn thing.

[CanSoc]

Interesting how the Europeans don't have the trouble the US and Canada do in shutting down Scientology operations, or any other religious fraudsters for that matter. In Germany for example, where Cruise's "church" has been given a rough time, Christian faith healers are treated by the authorities as fraud artists. While this is no doubt due in part to the fact that Europeans have no separation of church and state, here in North America we would take a giant step in shutting down the fraudsters by taxing church property that has no religious purpose. Not that I think that's going to happen.

[Serfie]

Every argument that can be made against Scientology can be made against Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

The only difference is that Scientology doesn't kill people who disagree with it, unlike the other religions, which have murdered millions over the last couple millennium.

Funny how you spend time attacking Scientology, which is less harmless than other religions, yet sit back and do nothing while the US continues to occupy the ME, backed by its own wacky ideology of "spreading democracy" as a guise for controlling the world's oil supply.

[ladybroadoak]

What is still beneath the radar is the FACT That high level scientologists hold the purse strings in the Ron Paul campaign.

Wouldn't you just love it if he ran and more Federal posititions were held by scientologists!!

They cannot wait to get their hands on the top secret files - the figured the lieing skunks of PNAC did it, why not them? Bill and Hillary Clinton did it, why not them?

People really had better wake up! The lawlessness is about to come shoveling shit under their doors ..

RON PAUL SCIENTOLOGY
perfect bedfellows

Don't believe how twisted all this is: Red Alan Stang's Red Dot Blowback

[Mykel]

When people post comments that are threatening or discriminatory, one can flag them as abusive. The crack moderating team may aloso refuse to publish the comment, or may remove it afterwards.

Chez Pazienza, meanwhile, writes a column that denigrates Scientology and its practioners, contrary to the First Amendment guarantee of freedom of religion, and gets it published at the Huffington Post, no sweat.

Excuse me, but I'd like to know how to flag his column as "abusive," and get it the Hell removed.

[Mort]

It's easy to sympathize with this Anonymous group. But it also shows how easy it is to get caught up in the mob mentality of bias. If we don't agree with someone or hear bad things about them then it's open season on them and let the lynching begin. Personally, I think Scientology is absurd. But so is condoning breaking the law to express malice against them for their beliefs.

[kellygrrrl]

wow! leave it to 19 y/o computer geeks to expose truth to evil!!!!

I hope someone's looking out for these kids.

[alwaysthere]

cry-baby's and tatlle-tales

are the glue of all churches

[Mark701]

Scientology, Catholisim, Protestanism, Baptists, Evengelicals, Islam et al are ALL mind control organizations. It's all about whether your invisible friend is real and right as opposed to somebody elses invisible friend. I'm sorry, but in my opinion ALL religion can be categorized as "culturally accepted insanity". There is no Galdalf like wizard God in the sky who is going to save mankinds sorry asses. Our lives, our planet and mankind is OUR responsibility not that of some phantom(s) we have never seen, heard, smelled or touched. If we have a nuclear exchange,"God" will not snatch the missiles from orbit. If we fuck up our environment bad enough, mankind will perish, because a delusion can't save us. If you drive you car the wrong way down the highway, chances are you'll die or fuck yourself up pretty good,and probablly someone else too, because there is no invisible magical being watching out for you or your victim. From a spiritual perspective, we are alone. All we have is this tiny little planet and each other. The sooner mankind recognizes that fact, the sooner we'll stop doing and saying stupid things and start taking care of the problems we've created.

[gkam]

All this reminds me of the Firesign Theater's Blinding Light - "Show them a light, and they'll follow it anywhere." Except there is no light here, just the glow of hot greed and the pathetic need to find meaning in their empty lives. They want to be special, and are told that just one more expensive "auditing" procedure will do it. By the time they have spent a few hundred thousand dollars and climbed to new "levels", it's too late to admit they were taken.

[Crowhaul]

To be fair, the legal tactics utilized by Scientology pale in comparison to the coercive tactics used by Christianity throughout the ages. I doubt if we shall ever witness anything close to the maiming, torturing and killing that Christianity has done by putting people to 'the question' in the name of their god.

[OldOne]

There were two South Park episodes dealing with Scientology. E-meters, souls rising from volcanoes, Tom Cruise and John Travolta hiding in the closet.
The second episode was Return of Chef and the Super Adventure Club. A reference to the pedophilia of L Ron Hubbard. Whose son used to say, his father would walk around the house chanting "invent a religion make a million".

I can put up with many religions - Christians, Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Buddists - but when you get a religion that says their children should pray for recovery from illness and not see a doctor - it is way over the line as far as I am concerned. Scientology flunks, it is quackery. E meters and Etons, what a bunch of crap, never mind the evil Lord Zenu and his fleet of DC8's.

[Pinky2]

Aeros, your links do not work. THey go to the Huffington Post 404 page.