Nadya Suleman, the Duggars, and the Glorification of Family Freakshows

A couple of months ago, I wrote a piece for this site that took the form of an open letter complaining to the American media about their continued glorification of the Duggar clan.

For those lucky enough to have no idea who I'm talking about, the Duggars -- Jim Bob, Michelle, her clown car vagina, and their 18 kids whose names all inexplicably begin with the letter "J" -- are a family of religious nutjobs from Arkansas who reproduce at a rate of about one new kid a year. For whatever reason, the media treat this joy-to-the-Lord freakshow like celebrities -- consistently allowing the Duggars to make the rounds on the television talk and news show circuit whenever they've got a new birth to celebrate or, inevitably soon after, a new pregnancy announcement to make.

At the time, I wrote this:

"I honestly couldn't care less that there's an insane family living in Arkansas cranking out children because God says so. The problem is that you, the media -- NBC, ABC, TLC, etc. -- keep giving these people face time, thereby convincing them that everyone in this country not crazier than they are actually loves hearing the latest news about Michelle Duggar's overworked reproductive system. I'm not suggesting that you're encouraging them -- since you couldn't, as they take their cues from a supposedly higher authority -- but you are giving them the chance to hawk their books, TV show and the assorted other crap that allows them to afford to continue spitting out kids like chocolates coming down a conveyor belt. These people shouldn't be cast in a positive light. They shouldn't be cast in any light at all. If they want to keep trying to single-handedly overpopulate the Earth for Jesus, they should have to pay for it without the help of your unwarranted free publicity, media.

Let's see how long they'd last once the gravy train you guys happily play conductor of dries up."

Although I claimed that the Duggars were and are essentially a non-story and were doing no real harm other than annoying the hell out of me and a lot of other Americans, I received quite a bit of feedback from readers who believe that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's perpetual procreation does in fact border on criminal. There's certainly an argument to be made that given the world's limited resources and the recent focus on consuming as few of them as possible, single-handedly adding 18 people -- and counting -- to the planet can be considered outright offensive (though it should be noted that the Duggars don't give a crap what happens to the Earth because they're convinced Jesus is going to come back soon to yank them off of it anyway). But maybe the real problem with what the Duggars are doing in their bedroom and the media's complicity in allowing them to parlay that into a kind of TV and publishing empire is the one thing I never would've seen coming -- the one result I feel naive for not having been able to imagine.

Imitation.

Despite the fact that reality TV on the whole has created an entirely new subculture of shameless idiots willing to do anything, no matter how personally debasing, to turn themselves into insta-celebs, I somehow didn't put two and two together on this one and couldn't fathom the idea that somebody out there might hear and see the Duggars' story, then go and do likewise.

And make no mistake -- that's exactly what Nadya Suleman did.

Unless you've been living under a heat lamp in a neonatal ICU somewhere, you know that Suleman is the mother of only the second living set of octuplets ever born. At first, the absurdly baby-addicted media -- the same people who willingly document every blip and gurgle in the Duggars' reproductive cycle -- fell all over themselves to cover the octuplets story. Admittedly, the birth, being a staggeringly rare occurrence, was in fact news. But it was interesting to see how quickly the media's other addiction -- conflict -- reared its ugly head to trounce their supposed good nature once it was revealed that the Octo-Mom may not be all she seemed. It took about a day-and-a-half for most of the TV networks that had originally hailed the miracle birth to turn around and, almost literally, eat their young.

By the time Nadya Suleman made it on the Today show for her one-on-one with Ann Curry, she'd long since lost the benefit of the doubt; Curry went into the interview not as some fawning girlfriend ready to softball her but instead with her "Serious Journalist" face on.

And the interview was indeed revealing -- in more ways than one.

Suleman claims that she's not collecting welfare and that she's perfectly capable of taking care not only of her eight new underdeveloped infants but of the six kids she already has. This is contradicted by both her own mother, who calls her daughter's decision to be implanted with new embryos "unconscionable," and by Suleman's publicist (yes, she has a publicist), who confirms that his client is receiving $490 in monthly food stamps as well as federal assistance for her children, three of which are disabled. To hear Suleman talk, it's almost shocking her level of disconnect with reality. She seems to believe that simply by having these babies, both she and they would automatically be taken care of. That tens of thousands of dollars would somehow magically fall from the sky and that all she'd have to provide in the end was a bundle of motherly love.

The woman's completely off her fucking rocker.

Or is she?

The most surprising aspect of the Today interview is what it inadvertently reveals about how much TV Nadya Suleman watches and how victimized she's been by it. Like the rest of us, Suleman's been inundated for years with images of families like the Duggars and Jon and Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus Eight -- families that have been canonized by a slavish media and elevated to the status of pop culture icons, complete with their own reality shows, self-help books, and donations from every direction. Suleman, who's obviously emotionally needy to begin with, had good reason to believe that all she'd have to do is crank out 14 kids to be set for life; she'd seen it happen before, over and over again. Hell, the show the woman sitting across from her was a host of -- Today -- acts essentially as the official press secretariat of the Duggars. Why shouldn't she expect the same sort of open arms and warm encomia?

The fact is that there was no reason for her not to.

Nadya Suleman may have been the one to selfishly create an entire litter of children she could barely take care of, but a lot of people within the media told her there was no harm in what she was doing.

Comments

[indy100]

Great article. I've been saying the same thing, and do not watch "reality" shows in general and the jumbo family freak shows in particular. I saw a small part of one of the original shows on the Duggars, and at that time it was Fourteen Kids and Counting. Now they're up to 18. Nobody; married, single, or whatever should have fourteen, or eighteen kids. It is unconscionable, irresponsible, and entirely self centered. These people are not raising their kids, their kids are raising each other, or their families are raising them. What they are doing is producing and packaging a "product". For a price, and a warped sense of "values".

[tantrictim]

the duggars are right wing fundamental christian propaganda masqeurading as a reality show...at least the kate +8 show does not try to impose some backwoods values on you

[vpdent]

backward values, grea point great point...tr­ue

[PatA]

14 people having a family of 5 equals 70 more people. 70 people having 3 children equals 210..
.I help trap and "fix" stray cats and I've grown used to multiplying the possibilties of one cat 's indiscretions. I am by no means comparing having children to a stray cat having kittens...­...but if
you take the long view, you will see that we aren't talking about "now". We have to talk
about the future.
We were put here to be stewards of the earth. I'm pulling my weight on it but are people who have a huge family even aware of stewardship?

[vpdent]

also again, .the duggars give tasks to their young adults to take care of the little ones depriving them of a childhood, and thats so sad....can you imagine being deprived a childhood because mom and dad are busy populating the world, thats just wrong. what's worse too is they all profit from the shows, the duggars and john and kate, so in a way their children are working for their parents egos, and once the cameras go away who knows how this will mentally affect the children..­.avoiding taxes by bs is wrong in my opnion, making your kids give up their chilhood to take care of siblings wrong, taking free stuff and glorifying big families is wrong....n­adya suleman needs a job, and she needs to come back to reality, and the duggars and j and k + 8 are not reality in many ways again.... most of us don't live in million dollar homes and get free stuff....a­nd most of us don't feel its right to make our children manage the rest of their siblings or family. We pay taxes unlike the duggars . People like the duggars and suleman are selfish...­at least j and k + 8 was not deliberate in over-procreating but duggars and suleman are, and its harming society and their own families and thats soooo not right!

[vpdent]

again, the duggars, j and k + 8 do glorify big families, and though they are married couples that do work, at least john gosselin did before he quit his it job and jim bob duggar does... but should jim bob declare the home a congregation to avoid taxes i think not...they all also do get lots of free stuff, like john and kate just bought a 1.4 million doller home in pa, which was from show profits, and tlc is footing the bill for everything inside, they get it all for free..like tv, furniture etc is all being supplied by tlc. but then again, tlc makes alot from the successful show im sure so john and kate probably just wanted a piece of the money pie as the duggars did too..i'm sure people like nadya suleman see that and go "wow".. if she was married, had a stable job i think the media like tlc would be kissing her ass and thats sad because they glorify big families like they do with the duggars. my neighbor had 9 siblings, growing up in the 1920's and back then he said people had big families so that farm work or the home could be managed by everyone..­my neighbor he died recently but he never had kids, he said that it was because of the horrors of his childhood having to work to provide for everyone else and having no time for himself...

[rocketman69]

I'll make you feel better: with all the dead from war, someone needs to repopulate.

[LovinTheOldies]

"REPOPULATE" you can't be Serious? Have you ever been on a Freeway, ANY Freeway, even before 5am EVERY Single Morning (and then in the Evening) it is a Nightmare.

Or, how about the "Serious" lack of water in our State and even after conserving and cutting WAY Back, we Still have to cut 25% more or will have serious, huge surcharges added to our bills.

Our Levees are hundreds of years old and are about one big storm away from a Katrina-like Disaster. One levee already broke recently and a huge, main highway was swept away and it was a transportation disaster for weeks.

10% of our State is Unemployed and our State is Bankrupt - MORE people is the LAST thing we Need!

[Marie62866]

I love Jon and Kate, they wanted one more child and got six! She did not belief in selective reduction and that is her choice! All her children are taken care of and smart! Kate admits how difficult it is and how much help they needed!

[indy100]

Good for her. However, they shouldn't be on television promoting jumbo families, they shouldn't receive freebies, or tax write off's for their extended brood. You choose to have 8 kids, you foot the bills. All of them.

[jesselee26]

hey, wait! you know what might counter balance some of all this crazy you mention?

what if the government encouraged­... hell, just allowed... couples with no biological ability to reproduce together, like, you know, "the gays" to get married and then adopt???

oh well, just a thought.

[nee]

The Duggars provide for all of their children. You have no right to tell them how many they can have. Octo mom has no job and had her children unnaturally. We are paying for her children. She cannot support them and they will be a drain on society. The Duggars on the other hand can take care of themselves.

[jesselee26]

the point is that they would have no way to keep providing for these kids without the media handing them money for interviews, tv shows, etc...

and maybe they're not on food stamps, but declaring your home a church to avoid taxes, is in much the same way, fraudulently misrepresenting facts to get a free ride.

octo mom, as they call her, was just following the model.

[jesselee26]

listen, if mrs. duggar wants to keep having children, its her right. but it IS A DRAIN on society to have that many people consuming resources and eventually voting when part of the duggar parenting technique consists of keeping the children staggeringly ignorant of reality.

[BigMike75]

Sure let's have every woman pop out kids like a Pez Dispenser, eat up resources like a garbarator, and create a congregration and declare their home's churches to avoid paying taxes. I wish you would step back and examine the irresponsibility of this nonsense, and your silly support of it.

[rocketman69]

Freedom of choice goes both ways.

[ParacelsusTheophrastus]

Are you saying that some babies are more valuable than others? I don't get your point. All are examples of people being greedy for children and becoming consumed and unbalanced. Octomom watched tv all the time and saw the parade of Duggar genetic-greed being praised and since she was crazy like the Duggars, she wanted it too. Maybe I can't tell them how many kids to have but I can say "needs psychiatric help, not a tv show."

[vpdent]

i agree with black cat in saying that "Those people vote. And their children will vote. And they won't be voting based on anything resembling acurate knowledge of what the world is really like and how their vote will actually impact others. " referring to the duggars."T­hey refuse to participate in mainstream society, but then take it upon themselves to cast votes that influence the rest of us IN mainstream society." and if they dont pay taxes and we all do, and get away with stuff like declaring their home as a church because of the size of people living there, then in my humble opinion theyre not fit to vote because i think personally the churxh thing is a bogus reason jim bob thought up to avoid taxes. if you dont contribute to society and the nation as a whole, why should you be involved in voting, and furthermore they shelter their children so much that they don't know anything of what goes on in the real world, do you really want them voting then?

[vpdent]

i totally agree, why arent the duggars paying taxes, then everyones home should be a "congregation", i think the duggars did this to avoid taxes totally. this is not right!

[Marie62866]

They don't pay any taxes because they have so many tax deductions!

[Herodotus Shoggoth]

I have no problem with people surfing the waves of loopholes to save money. The trick isn't to scold the Duggars for being clever, it's to tax the Churches, which make lots of money, have lots of power, play politics without any responsibilities.

[marshmallowcreampie]

I have to agree with the guy who wrote this blog. Why haven't the Duggars recieved much criticism from the media? Yes, they can afford to take care of their kids, but for one, they don't pay taxes because the father managed to declare them "a congregation" or a church or something. Second, they rely on the older kids to help take care of the younger siblings, which is not fair. Minors shouldn't have to take on such adult responsibilities such as caring for a small child.

That said, Nadya is still worse. She was probably influenced by these shows to a degree. One reason she might've had them is probably for the publicity and attention, perhaps even a sense of identity (lots of people are going to know and remember her for a long time as "that lady with octuplets/14 kids"). Although, she seems to show the same symptoms as an animal hoarder. Have you ever watched those "Animal Cops" shows where they find women with 200 cats and have to take most of them away? The owners of those cats often seem to believe that the cats are in great health, even though many are obviously sick with mange and fleas and sores and bleeding. They are convinced that they are taking care of the cats properly, and that they can take care of more cats when they come along even though the ones they already have are in squalor conditions­..

[mollymac]

The woman wants the state to take care of her! She is taking advantage of her parents who feel some misguided responsibility when they should be taking care of themselves in their golden years. But this whackjob doesn't care. Selfish twit. In fact, when looking at the way the rain forests are being depleted due to over breeding of humans, the extinction of animal species due to human stupidity . We will be lucky if there is anything left when these fools get done. Not to mention that the human uterus is not meant to produce that many children! As for Kate and the Duggars. They are opportunists. Can't believe we validate them as people to look up to.

[TheBlackCat]

I watched the Duggar's show a couple times, I admit, out of morbid curiosity.

They seem like a genuinely nice, kindhearted, and loving family.

However, we would ALL be that nice and kindhearted if we were similarly sheltered from the outside world. The Duggars freely admit that they highly monitor what their children read, watch on tv, and look up online. And it's not just about making sure they don't see age inappropriate things, it's because, it their own words, they don't want them being exposed to any other lifestyle but their own. The children are home schooled, and they are only allowed to associate with other fundamentalist homeschooled Christians. Even their twenty year old son still requires a chaperone when he goes out with his own fiance, and they are not allowed to even kiss until marriage.

And frankly, if you want to keep your family completely sheltered from reality, completely ignorant of any point of view other than your own, I would be inclined to say that's your own damn business, save for one thing...

Those people vote. And their children will vote. And they won't be voting based on anything resembling acurate knowledge of what the world is really like and how their vote will actually impact others.

They refuse to participate in mainstream society, but then take it upon themselves to cast votes that influence the rest of us IN mainstream society.

If you want to live like the Amish, fine. Just don't vote.

[Herodotus Shoggoth]

The Duggar kids are also not allowed to Dance because music can overwhelm the spirit or something.

[gg625]

Personally, I think that ten thousand dollars a pop to have my own child is ridiculous and would probably adopt instead (but I do not condemn those who use assisted reproductive technology in an appropriate manner), but adoption is even horribly expensive. I know this is kind of getting off the point of this blog, but I really think that in a country where we have so many children who need homes and so many families that want children that it should be made easier for this to happen. I do not believe in eugenics, and the chinese policy did not work; but there has to be something that our country can do to persuade people to not have so many gosh darn kids. Maybe tax incentives for only having two and then each additional kid you have to pay a certain amount. I say two because that is what replacement theory says. Three, four kids I do not think is crazy but fourteen, eighteen..­.These numbers are ridiculous.

[TheBlackCat]

Some companies are catching on and offering incentives to promote adoption, which I think is great. My company provides adoption assistance. My husband is in the army, and we are planning to adopt (for exactly the reasons you state, there are so many kids who need homes already). The army provides not only significant financing for adoption, but will even pay for neonatal care for the birth mother (if you are looking to adopt a newborn).