Chip Collis

Chip Collis

I'M A FAN OF THIS BLOGGER (get email alerts)

RSS
Chip Collis is a Cub fan and Renaissance man, the undefeated spelling champion of Elmhurst, IL and a past champion of the Moon Fantasy Golf Invitational. Humble and lovable, he is also a long-time commenter on the Huffington Post under the handle jungpatawan. Though an inveterate procrastinator, he has already written his obituary, reasoning that on time, in that one case, would be too late.

There once was a blogger from Elmhurst
Who in writing and rhyming was well-versed.
Death was, it is said,
Self-inflicted, his head,
Which was very prone to swell, burst.

Blog Entries by Chip Collis

McCain's Nuclear Veep Option

3 Comments | Posted June 6, 2008 | 09:44 PM (EST)


There is a bold move that John McCain can make that will kick the campaign up to a completely different level, and steal a march on Barack Obama in the "transformational" category, blowing away all the current electoral math while simultaneously risking the complete destruction of the Republican Party.

Sound...

Read Post

Welcome To The Ground War

Posted June 5, 2008 | 11:40 AM (EST)


It was the first Saturday in May. Spring was trying to creep in but Winter had his back to the door and both feet planted, refusing to budge. And I got an e-mail from Caroline Kennedy, which warmed me up.

Chip --

My father called on Americans to ask...

Read Post

Will Obama And Clinton Meet Wed in NYC?

44 Comments | Posted June 2, 2008 | 01:45 PM (EST)


Earlier today, reports surfaced that Hillary Clinton was calling her staff back to New York City. In a booze-related incident, Clinton campaign chair Terry McAuliffe confirmed on MSNBC's Morning Joe that Clinton would be holding a "victory celebration" in New York on Tuesday night, the last primary election...

Read Post

Chelsea's T-Shirt Project: Too Little, Too Lame

65 Comments | Posted May 30, 2008 | 07:15 PM (EST)


Several weeks ago, an e-mail blast from "Chelsea Clinton" went out touting "Project T-Shirt, a contest to design the next great T-shirt for my mom's campaign." Of course, we at Off The Bus (OTB) somehow missed the last great T-shirt for Chelsea's mom's campaign, but, in our own defense, HuffPost...

Read Post

An Open Letter to Hillary Supporters

17 Comments | Posted May 28, 2008 | 03:29 PM (EST)


No matter what happens this weekend in a D.C. conference room and in the Estado Libre Asociado de Puerto Rico, by this time next week the Democratic primary race will be over. I'm not writing to crow about that, but rather to bring a message of reconciliation and a plea...

Read Post

Hillary Assassinates Herself In The Foot!

167 Comments | Posted May 23, 2008 | 06:59 PM (EST)


Is Hillary Clinton a racist assassination-monger?

Of course not, but she's making it easier and easier for people to accuse her of that and more besides. And she's making it harder and harder for people to consider her eternal candidacy in a positive light.

Today in an editorial board...

Read Post

The Billary Hillbillies

41 Comments | Posted May 23, 2008 | 01:50 PM (EST)


As peripatetic postman Cliff Clavin of Cheers fame could have told us, it's a little known fact that the term "hillbilly" originally referred to Northern Ireland Protestants in the 17th century, supporters of King William of Orange (hence "billy.") Only later did the term gain its modern usage descriptive of...

Read Post

Bush Misunderestimates History, Anoints Obama

4 Comments | Posted May 16, 2008 | 01:58 PM (EST)


One of the least charming aspects of the Bush Residency is its stubborn resistance to the entire basic high school curriculum. Math, science, econ, Spanish, civics, English, history: Bush manages to mangle them all on a regular basis. And he did so again Thursday, incorrectly confusing talking to enemies with...

Read Post

Two Key Obama Endorsements Come Under The Radar

Posted May 15, 2008 | 04:17 PM (EST)


Lost amid the chatter of the Edwards endorsement and the brouhaha over yet another idiotic President Bush remark were two very important superdelegate declarations of support for Barack Obama. Rep. Howard Berman (CA-28) and Rep. Henry Waxman (CA-30) both declared for him, adding their voices to the significant shift that...

Read Post

How Obama WON Tuesday

28 Comments | Posted May 14, 2008 | 10:15 AM (EST)


Hillary Clinton ended Tuesday night with a big victory in West Virginia, showing once again that old, white, poor, uneducated people really don't like young, witty, urbane, well-educated black men. Quelle surprise.

Hillary argues that West Virginia and its massively huge five electoral votes is a key swing state for...

Read Post

Five Reasons To Reject The Clinton MI Plan

2 Comments | Posted May 12, 2008 | 11:59 AM (EST)


The Clinton campaign is desperate to find some way, ANY way, no matter how skuzzy, sleazy, below-board or outright Republican, to convince the world and the superdelegates that she is actually winning the Democratic nomination. The cornerstone of her recent attempts to alchemize the dross of her tattered campaign into...

Read Post

Clinton Campaign Sees Dead People

3 Comments | Posted May 11, 2008 | 01:28 PM (EST)


Clinton Campaign Chair Terry McAuliffe made a horrendous mistake on Meet the Press Sunday morning. In trying to show that all fair-minded people would want to see the primary schedule played out, McAuliffe painted a wistful picture of his father sharing a scotch in heaven with "Big Russ," MTP host...

Read Post

MI Dems, Clinton SuperD Beg to Differ on Delegates

52 Comments | Posted May 8, 2008 | 05:36 PM (EST)


Both a Hillary Clinton superdelegate on the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee (R&BC) and a spokesperson for the Michigan Democratic Party seem to contradict the Clinton campaign stance on the seating of the Michigan delegation, in interviews given earlier this week.

Liz Kerr, the Communications Director for the Michigan...

Read Post

Titanic Deck Chair Fund, Give Today!

2 Comments | Posted May 8, 2008 | 02:24 PM (EST)


As of today, May 8, you can instantly ascertain the status, mindset and weakness of the Clinton campaign by typing HillaryClinton.com into your browser, after finishing this column, of course.

Is it news about her HUGE 1.1% margin Indiana win?

No.

Is it an announcement of the dozens of superdelegates...

Read Post

We Don't Need No Steenking Exit Strategy

19 Comments | Posted May 7, 2008 | 04:38 PM (EST)


Once upon a time, an up and coming Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff named Colin Powell enunciated a list of criteria for using US armed forces anywhere in the world. It was successfully used during the '90's, but was jettisoned in the 21st century by George W. Bush,...

Read Post

Clinton in Indiana: Not a Bang But A Squeak

63 Comments | Posted May 7, 2008 | 08:39 AM (EST)


The Hillary Clinton campaign will barely live to fight yet another day, as she has defeated Barack Obama in the Indiana primary by the slimmest of margins. Her popular vote margin of approximately 22,000 represents less than 2 percent of the record turnout of well over a million voters. It...

Read Post

Hillary's MAD MAD MAD MAD World

10 Comments | Posted May 6, 2008 | 11:07 AM (EST)


Hillary Clinton has threatened nuclear options twice in the past week. First she has promised unilateral annihilation of Iran if they develop the Bomb and use it anywhere. This is one step beyond the MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) world of Dr. Strangelove and a radical departure from one of the...

Read Post

Sleight Of Hand: The Legend Of Hillary

31 Comments | Posted May 5, 2008 | 04:16 PM (EST)


I learned a magic trick the other day that requires you to show a deck of cards arranged from two through ace in each suit, then through a complex series of cuts, card burns, and top and bottom dealing, you show that you have dealt 7 poker hands: six full...

Read Post

Hillary Petitions To Give OBAMA the Win!

8 Comments | Posted May 1, 2008 | 05:44 PM (EST)


Hillary Clinton has a petition on her website that you can "sign" to show your support for seating the Florida and Michigan delegations. It says:

"Florida and Michigan Deserve to be Heard

Millions of people in Florida and Michigan went to the polls to make their voices heard in...

Read Post

Arianna v. Ben Stein: Apocalypse Soon?

2 Comments | Posted May 1, 2008 | 11:22 AM (EST)


Ben Stein has taken his droll "I-am-SO-smarter-than-you" schtick to the big screen in a lame attempt to become the Right's pseudo-intellectual answer to liberal gadfly and moralist Michael Moore. His effort, entitled "Expelled," purports to show how closed-minded science is toward the self-described "scientists" who support Intelligent Design (ID). Known...

Read Post

Bloggers Index›
 
 

 Site  Web ask.com