Titanic Deck Chair Fund, Give Today!

As of today, May 8, you can instantly ascertain the status, mindset and weakness of the Clinton campaign by typing HillaryClinton.com into your browser, after finishing this column, of course.

Is it news about her HUGE 1.1% margin Indiana win?

No.

Is it an announcement of the dozens of superdelegates not flocking to her side?

Uh-uh.

Is it a staunch defense of her gas tax holiday, that she JaysonBlaired from John McCain?

Wrong!

It's a plea for money.

Yes, the new splash page for the Clinton website is a form where you can contribute toward more deck chairs for the Titanic. Hey, an $11.4 million loan to yourself doesn't pay itself off, you know!

"HELP MAKE HISTORY!" she bleats.

The only history you'll help make if you give to Hillary now will be the record for Most Money Ever Contributed to a Cause So Lost Even St Jude Has Stopped Taking Her Calls.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but Hillary has gone beyond pandering to panhandling in a panic. Which makes no sense unless you've decided to limit your campaign strategy to words that fall between "Pandora's Box" and "pantsuit" in the dictionary.

Which is a pretty damn apropos, when you think about it.

But by all means, contribute if you want. Just make that check out to the "Hillary Clinton for Irrelevant" campaign... or the "Hindenburg Landing Party Fund."

Same difference.

(Note: the splash page seems to be alternating with just the plain home page, still with the big contribution "ask" at the top of the page.)

Comments

[VivianDW]

Collis is the one seeing "dead people"...­........an­d loving it!

Calling Clinton "irrelevant" is like calling The Constitution a guideline.

Collis, you may be a good guy, but right now you sound like Rush! Yuk!!

[sueno]

Painful..... but true.