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Chris Case

Entries by Chris Case

Endorse This!

(35) Comments | Posted May 23, 2008 | 7:49 PM

Being a presidential candidate is nasty business. You live on a bus, you don't sleep, and you're force fed fatty local food so voters will know that you, like them, don't care how big your ass gets. But that's nothing compared to fending off endorsements and support of psychos who...

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Why Crazy Grandpa McCain Will Be Our Next President

(76) Comments | Posted March 19, 2008 | 3:07 PM

I watched Obama's speech last night and was deeply moved. I came away feeling like he would make a great president. But because of the ranting of Reverend Wrong, we're never going to find out.

Look, some old black guys are angry. I can't say I blame them. They've seen...

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Tips For Surviving the Writers' Strike

(1) Comments | Posted November 15, 2007 | 5:57 PM

The strike is awful for everyone. The issues are massive, and, contrary to what management would have you believe, this is not a battle between the haves and the have-jets. These careers are delicate, odd little things. We give up long-term security to do what we love. Most...

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Get Over Yourselves, Airports

(190) Comments | Posted October 16, 2007 | 9:24 PM

Years ago, we used to have a feature on Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher called "Get Over Yourself." It was given to the person or place most in need of lightening the fuck up. There's nothing that needs to lighten up more than airports -- or more specifically, our national...

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The Perfect Solution For Immigration

(21) Comments | Posted September 14, 2007 | 6:04 PM

The head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE - coolest acronym ever!), Julie Myers, told a Senate committee this week that if we were to detain and deport all of the illegal aliens here, it would cost $100 billion. And that's not even counting the emotional toll from the loss...

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Bush Gives Shout-Out To Jews A Three Days Early

(7) Comments | Posted September 10, 2007 | 5:22 PM

Apparently Rosh Hashana comes early this year -- at least according to President Bush. On Sunday night, Bush issued a statement wishing greetings to those celebrating the Jewish New Year. The only problem is that the Jewish New Year starts Wednesday at sundown.

And if you'll notice, he even...

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Come Back To Me, You Sleek, Sexy iPhone

(13) Comments | Posted September 7, 2007 | 12:54 PM

Dearest iPhone,

I have been miserable without you. When we got together when you first came to town, I was so into you. And then after a few shorts weeks, I returned you and got a Blackberry instead. All I can say now is, I AM SO SORRY.

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I'm Dumping the iPhone

(251) Comments | Posted July 25, 2007 | 10:50 AM

Dearest iPhone,

I must admit that things between us had a great and beautiful start. I was in love with your bag before I even saw you. And when I logged onto iTunes for easy activation, I was enthralled with your sleek beauty. Remember our first night together? We...

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Bush in West Virginia: I Will Pardon Al Gore's Son

(22) Comments | Posted July 4, 2007 | 5:50 PM

George Bush, in West Virginia today to celebrate the Fourth for the fourth straight year, gave a moving speech on the war on terror. After the speech, however, he was in his usual jovial mood. While standing in the sun, he pointed to a shady spot under an umbrella, telling...

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Lindsay Fully Loaded: A Letter From Rehab

(3) Comments | Posted May 29, 2007 | 6:00 PM

Dear Fans and Makers of Cars, Liquor, and Blow:

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.

First of all, I would like to apologize for the fact that my car once again...

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It's Hard Out Here For a Czar

(13) Comments | Posted May 1, 2007 | 2:50 PM

I love Randall Tobias. In what might be the greatest act of hubris ever, or as I like to call it The "So Implausible It Might Be True" Defense, the guy is actually saying that he called "gals" (which I also love) over to give him a massage but it...

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Cho Seung-Hui, Superstar

(1) Comments | Posted April 24, 2007 | 5:58 PM

I wrote on Friday night about how I thought NBC News blew it when they decided to give a multi-media platform to the Virginia Tech killer.

Now that we're entering the aftermath of the aftermath of the tragedy, I have become more resolute in my belief that NBC...

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NBC is D-U-M-B

(38) Comments | Posted April 21, 2007 | 2:12 AM

There are a lot of things you could say in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shootings. My first thought was, "are those Vick brothers still at that school?" Of course what happened this week was awful and horrifying and there a million ways it could have been prevented. There...

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My Friend Charlie: A Lot Like George Bush

(20) Comments | Posted April 13, 2007 | 2:19 PM

My friend Charlie's wanton obliviousness to consequences and stubborn refusal to make concessions to reality, fueled by his own "Influentials" reminds me a lot of a certain president.

My friend Charlie had it all: a great family, a dream career, and a ski home. But there were cracks in...

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Bill and Grace

(11) Comments | Posted March 6, 2007 | 2:37 PM

Today did not start well for me. For some reason, my radio was tuned to Adam Carolla's radio show when it woke me up at 6:20. This morning he was talking about Bill Maher's comments on Friday's Real Time. I went to the show Friday night to say hi to...

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How to Make the 2008 Election as Compelling as Reality TV

(7) Comments | Posted March 2, 2007 | 9:12 AM

Awards Seasons is over. Cue reality season. Thursday night American Idol cut down to sixteen hopefuls. Before this week I had never seen the show. Ever. Just don't care. Hate karaoke. And ballads. And people with a dream. "I want to be a celebrity" is not a dream. It's a...

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