Lindsay Fully Loaded: A Letter From Rehab

Dear Fans and Makers of Cars, Liquor, and Blow:

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.

First of all, I would like to apologize for the fact that my car once again somehow ended up against a tree at 5:30 a.m. in the morning. For this mistake I have fired my publicity guy because I totally wanted to get the Lexus that parks itself. But he said it was too much of an old people car for me to drive. But if I had got that Lexus, you would not be reading this. So he's toast.

It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. In this case, they happen to be similar, but still, people never want to hear or read about the night last week when Hyde was closed and I had two and a half glasses of red wine and went to sleep at like 12:30 or 1. Seriously, you can ask my bodyguard. He put a cork in the bottle and the next day I had the rest with breakfast.

Recently, like last night or yesterday I forget which it was, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab -- not the fun one at the Hard Rock in Vegas by the pool -- the unfun one where everyone's all serious -- and it made me realize that I truly hit rock bottom. Both in the real way and also literally because when I passed out and fell, I hit my bottom on a rock. (sounds like a joke but isn't)

I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. Which is why the booze and drugs help. You try being sober and being numb to stuff. NOT EASY.

Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I just like to party. I mean, when you have a hot body and look like I do and have job where you can show up when you want and use the phone and text all day, what else am I supposed to do? Adopt a bunch of black kids from Darfur? Nobody is going to let that happen. I can barely keep track of my Sidekick. And it really pisses me off to know that people would rather have those kids in a jenocide (sp?) than be with me. DUH. Not that I want them, but I'd like to have the option.

But this letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes and ears now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. But I found they mostly want dinner and bottle service and some off the boat booger sugar (that's our name for drugs).

For now I have to go because I have group. Everybody looks at me all weird in there because I'm famous. I caught a crack head looking at my boobs already. THIS PLACE SUCKS. But hopefully, I have to get through it all so I can do a junket for my next movie (I forget what it's called, but it's fun). So I have to look good. And plus, maybe I can help some people in here to get better because I'm famous and pretty hot.

And last of all I want my fans to know not to blame cars or alcohol or drugs for this because individually they're not bad, it's together in combination that they can be dangerous. If I have to give up one of them, now I would choose cars but I am sure in 30 days I would choose the other two (at least hope so).

Gotta go and miss you!

LL XX OO

P.S. I took parts of this from the letter Britney wrote on her site because it was awesome and I'm really busy and she knows what I'm going through. XX OO