Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Episode 8 of FX's "American Horror Story: Asylum," titled "Unholy Night."
Ho, ho, ho, oh boy. Ian McShane sure is one creepy Santa, right? Briarcliff celebrated the holidays the only way it could: with murders!
Your regular "American Horror Story: Asylum" recapper Joey DeAngelis is neck-deep in final exams, so there won't be any GIFs this week, but we'll still tackle all the happenings of Lana, Kit, Sister Jude and co.
Sister Mary Eunice welcomed Christmas back to Briarcliff with a tree full of human hair and miscellaneous hospital items. Yuck is the reaction you should have had.
Celebrating Christmas at Briarcliff wouldn't be complete with out the asylum's very own crazy Santa, Leigh, played by Ian McShane. The episode focused quite a bit on the character's murderous deeds -- I think solely to show just how creepy McShane could be and to establish that watching people get murdered while wrapped in Christmas lights is upsetting -- but I had to question: Why show so much of one character who will likely never see the light of day again? I get that he was kept in solitary for, you know, being awful and killing people and ruining Sister Jude's Christmas photo-op last year, but I couldn't help but feel it was a bit of a waste of time. I would have rather had the focus on a character we've seen before, albeit briefly, maybe roaming around the common room. With so much going on -- aliens, demons, Nazis, mutants, Bloody Face, angels -- I was a little bit disappointed with this episode. Sister Mary Eunice sprung the crazy Santa, gave him a suit and let him attack Frank (poor Frank!) and almost sexually assault Sister Jude (yep, she's back). But Santa met his bitter end at the hands of Sister Jude and a swift stab to the neck. McShane's acting was exceptional, but I wanted a little more progression to the 3,000 plots that are currently going on.
Sister Jude, who you will recall recently re-found God, made her way back to Briarcliff and confronted the ultra creepy and possessed Sister Mary Eunice. She was thwarted and thrown out, only to have Dr. Arden come seek her aid in dealing with just how batshit Sister Mary Eunice has become. But -- twist! -- he was really working with Sister Mary Eunice and helped trap Jude with bad Santa. Now that she's back, I imagine we'll see Jude side with Lana Banana and Kit. I started this season absolutely hating Jude for what she did to Lana and now I'm rooting for her to be the hero. I blame you, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, you sly, sly storytellers. I was a bit disappointed not to see Frances Conroy as the Angel of Death at all. I can't wait for her to come back.
Lana is still recovering from her ordeal with Dr. Thredson/Bloody Face. Puking and she didn't eat anything? Well, I don't think that pregnancy plot can be any more obvious. Clearly, modern-day Bloody Face is growing inside her as we speak. Lana found Kit in the infirmary and clues him in on the happenings. The dynamic duo started to strategize, but the good doctor emerged from the shadows and tried to take Lana back with him ... only to be stopped by Kit. The two tied him up and threw him in a closet while they plan their next moves. Yep, he's trapped in the closet. "One day I'll bury you," Lana hissed at the bound and gagged Bloody Face. I hope she makes good on that threat!
Grace is still dead ... I think. But she's no longer in the asylum! As Dr. Arden tried to get rid of the body, those pesky aliens swooped in with their bright lights and metallic sounds and took her away. To where? Who knows. The alien subplot is probably the least developed of the 25,024 plots going on. I either need more development or for it to go away completely.
Some random thoughts and fun lines:
- "Doctor, I've been thinking." - Frank "You want to be careful, Frank -- that could be dangerous." - Dr. Arden
- Dr. Arden gave Sister Mary Eunice poop ruby earrings. That's all I can think about when I see earrings now. Thanks.
- "And if you're against me, even God can't help you." - Sister Mary Eunice
- We can all agree Lily Rabe will be nominated for an Emmy for her work this year, right?
- "One day I'll bury you." - Lana. Putting this here again because I hope it's true!
- Where is Pepper?
"American Horror Story: Asylum" airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. EST on FX
Follow Chris Harnick on Twitter: www.twitter.com/chrisharnick