EDITION: U.S.
 
CONNECT    

Chris Kelly
GET UPDATES FROM Chris Kelly
Chris Kelly isn't the one who plays for the Ottawa Senators. But wouldn't it be cool if he were?

Blog Entries by Chris Kelly

Did Mitt Romney Pay Any Taxes at All In 2008?

Posted January 22, 2012 | 1/22/12

Mitt Romney has been known to change his mind, but on the subject of his tax returns he's been isentropically consistent. Here's his position:

What's the least, the absolute least, I can show you so you'll shut up?

In December he said he might not release anything. Two weeks ago...

Read Post

Newt Gingrich Runs Rings Around Michele Bachmann and She's Still Right

190 Comments | Posted December 16, 2011 | 12/16/11

The trouble with the truth is it's always the same old thing. ~ Patty Loveless

Republican primary voters hate Freddie Mac. They believe it gave their money -- and forced the banks to give their money -- to lazy people so they could live indoors. This is a questionable suspicion....

Read Post

Mitt Romney's Honor Is Worth $10,000 and Not a Penny More

171 Comments | Posted December 11, 2011 | 12/11/11

"I'll tell you what. Ten-thousand bucks? Ten-thousand-dollar bet?" -- Mitt Romney

A lot of people are raising a stink about Mitt Romney making $10,000 schoolyard bets while running for president in a nation where the child poverty rate is 19.8%.

They're scoring cheap points by pretending that Mitt Romney...

Read Post

Buck McKeon's Mormon Holy War in Afghanistan

Posted January 5, 2011 | 1/5/11

California congressman Howard "Buck" McKeon is the next chairman of the House Armed Services Committee. He doesn't have any military experience -- he spent the Vietnam era on a Mormon missionary retreat and a twenty-nine year quest (1956-1985) for a BA from Brigham Young -- but he did bankrupt his...

Read Post

TV Is Smutty, but the Parents Television Council Is a Disgrace

Posted December 16, 2010 | 12/16/10

L. Brent Bozell is a cheap has-been who died years ago, but that doesn't mean his work-from-home pressure group, The Parents Television Council, can't still come up with the occasional hot title for a press release. Take, for example, this week's shocking study -- more than 35 hours in the...

Read Post

Christine O'Donnell Is Right About Pearl Harbor

Posted December 8, 2010 | 12/8/10

"Today marks a lot of tragedy... Tragedy comes in threes. Pearl Harbor, Elizabeth Edwards' passing and Barack Obama's announcement of extending the tax cuts, which is good, but also extending the unemployment benefits."
-- Christine O'Donnell

"There's more to being smart than noticing how some shit is like...

Read Post

The National Lampoon and Humor Lately

Posted December 4, 2010 | 12/4/10

Like brewing your own beer, satire is tricky, time consuming, and not as rewarding as you might expect. Humor is a lousy weapon, and anyone who thinks different is in for a life of one humiliating loss after another. When people talk about humor as a weapon it always makes...

Read Post

Sarah Palin's Favorite Communist Movie

Posted November 24, 2010 | 11/24/10

If you're still getting used to Sarah Palin, the macroeconomist -- her 700-word Facebook note on quantitative easing cited Paul Krugman, former CBO director Alice Rivlin and World Bank President Robert Zoellick -- then you're probably not ready for Sarah Palin, cinéaste.

Little did you know.

In the new...

Read Post

One Bright Spot: Meg Whitman Eats It

Posted November 2, 2010 | 11/2/10

Here's the good news: Meg Whitman will not be governor of California. That might not seem like much, compared to all the bad news, about Congress, and Senator Rand Paul, but it's something. And maybe even more than something.

Maybe it's very good news.

Meg Whitman will not be...

Read Post

Christine O'Donnell Denies Jesus/Satan on Hannity

Posted September 25, 2010 | 9/25/10

If you didn't catch Christine O'Donnell on "Hannity" this week -- in what she says is her last interview with the national media -- you missed this:

"My faith has matured and as a U.S. Senate candidate my promise to the people of Delaware is that it is the Constitution...
Read Post

Christine O'Donnell Cited Endorsement From Non-Existent Catholic Group

Posted September 17, 2010 | 9/17/10

I like Christine O'Donnell. I think she's a goof and a good sport, and it would be funny if she became a United States Senator. She's got a smile that could light up an abortion clinic bombing. Plus she needs a job.

But I wish the Tea Party Express hadn't...

Read Post

The Secret Relevance of Glenn Beck's 9/11 Show REVEALED

Posted September 10, 2010 | 9/10/10

The man promoting Saturday's Glenn Beck / Sarah Palin event in Anchorage says it has nothing to do with sucking blood from the World Trade Center dead.

(Christopher) Cox said the date of the event is a coincidence. Cox originally was eyeing Sept. 4, but did not want...
Read Post

Bristol Palin Dances, Pregnant, on Lisa Murkowski's Grave

Posted September 1, 2010 | 9/1/10

Last night, Alaska senator Lisa Murkowski conceded something that had been obvious for a week: She won't be her party's nominee this fall. She lost her primary for being insufficiently anti-abortion. (Here's what that means for a Republican in Alaska: She and her opponent both endorsed a parental notification ballot...

Read Post

Build the Mosque on Ground Zero

Posted August 23, 2010 | 8/23/10

I.F. Stone said freedom of religion means they can park in front of your house but you can't park in front of theirs. That was half a century ago, and the struggle between faith and urban planning hasn't gotten any more compelling since then, even with a Terror Mosque going...

Read Post

Meg Whitman and the Police Chief of Bell

Posted August 17, 2010 | 8/17/10

This morning, Meg Whitman proudly announced an endorsement from the California Peace Officers' Association.

It must be a pretty big deal. Because she also proudly announced their endorsement last March.

Things must be awfully slow around the Meg 2010 campaign.

If you haven't heard...

Read Post

Have You Seen That Awful Poster for The Switch?

Posted July 30, 2010 | 7/30/10

2010-07-30-the_switch_poster_m.jpg

"What typeface do you want?"

"Oh, I don't care, whatever you've got, as long as it doesn't say comedy, or anything else about the movie."

"Done. And the images?"

"Again, don't care. This thing's a dead loss. You got any pictures of Jennifer...

Read Post

Meg Whitman: I Do Support Arizona Law... for Arizona

Posted July 28, 2010 | 7/28/10

Does Meg Whitman support Arizona's new immigration law or not? Today we found out your guess is as good as hers.

Her campaign has spent millions of dollars in the last month on Spanish-language ads that say she doesn't, but this morning she said she does.

Here's one of...

Read Post

Why You Don't Care About JournoList

Posted July 27, 2010 | 7/27/10

The problem with the JournoList scandal is the problem with a lot of right wing news: It's not happening on Earth I, where you and I live. Like the Black Panthers taking over the Justice Department, or Shirley Sherrod's night raids on Andrew Breitbart's small family farm or Glenn Beck's...

Read Post

Update: Dumb Blogger Screws Up Apology to Meg Whitman, Has to Apologize Again

Posted July 20, 2010 | 7/20/10

What the hell is my problem?

I was trying to retract an ill-considered and imprecise aspersion I made about Meg Whitman's plan to cut her taxes and I just made it worse.

Yes, Meg Whitman wants to eliminate California's capital gains tax, even though the state is $20 billion in...

Read Post

Dumb Blogger Apologizes to Future Governor Meg Whitman

Posted July 20, 2010 | 7/20/10

I screwed up.

The other day I was writing about Meg Whitman -- who's running for governor because she refuses refuses refuses to let California fail -- and how her plans include a tax cut for the super rich that could cost the state between four and six billion...

Read Post