25 Random Things About Me, Meg Whitman

1) I'm running for governor of California.

2) I have a billion dollars.

3) I'm 53 years old. I've been a proud member of the Republican Party for two years.

4) My campaign website is called Megwhitman.com. Its background is the color of money.

5) I have an MBA from Harvard, just like George W. Bush. What could go wrong?

6) I'm running for governor because I strongly believe that California should be friendlier to business and, uh, I guess that's about it.

7) Did I mention the billion dollars?

8) People say I use too much business jargon when I frame strategy fundamentals trend paradigm.

9) I have two beautiful sons and their names are Prioritize and Skill Set.

10) Last week, the LA Times asked me my position on school vouchers and my answer was "I don't know how to answer that question."

11) Last week, the LA Times asked me if schools should report the children of illegal immigrants. My answer was "I want to think about that a little bit."

12) Last week, the San Francisco Chronicle asked me my position on offshore drilling and my answer was "That is an issue I would like to study further."

13) Wait, someone just handed me a card. I do have a position on an issue besides statewide business-friendliness. I also want to cut taxes and spend more money on education.

14) Which won't be easy, since 55% of the state general fund budget is spent on education.

15) I've just been handed another card.

16) "This is an issue I would like to study further."

17) I believe gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt children.

18) I supported Proposition 8 because I don't believe gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to marry.

19) And I think their bastard children deserve a wonderful education that I'll pay for by cutting taxes.

20) On second thought, this is an issue that I would like to study further.

21) When the San Francisco Chronicle asked me about my plans to reduce the size of government I said, "I can't be that specific on it."

22) I believe we "have a moral responsibility to be good stewards of the environment" but I don't believe we should be raising emissions standards on automobiles or "doing things that damage the car companies."

23) The American Lung Association rates Los Angeles the worst city in America for year-round particle pollution. 3rd worst is Bakersfield. 5th worst is Visalia. 8th is Fresno. 9th is Hanford.

24) A few years ago, when I was running eBay, I was asked about our expansion into China:

Q: Can you give us your thoughts on doing business in China given the civil rights issues there?

A: We do not have the issue that many of the portals have doing business in China because in China, we are not serving news, we're not serving really anything that has to do with commentary.

My position on civil rights in China isn't even "I'd like to study it further." It's "Who gives a shit."

25) California's unemployment rate is 9.3%. There's gotta be someone else who wants this job.

Comments

[ckomeshian]

I've disliked Meg Whitman ever since seeing her on a news show about Ebay where she excuses all the bad things people have experienced using Ebay with "Well, we're a young company." Americans shut out Sarah Palin and I hope California shuts out Whitman. Thanks for this hilarious piece.

[RobinSeattle]

Is her "I would like to study that further" a new kind of "in what regard, Charlie?"

[ClaudiaJean]

With Meg Whitman at the helm of E-bay, E-bay willingly and knowingly provided a forum for illegal activities. There were no standards at E-bay.
Bootleg activity was rampant -- knockoffs and fakes were prevelant.
Cottage industries which violated copyright, names/likenesses of celebritie­s... everyone turned a blind eye.
Oh, the market will sort it out.
Oh, people are decent; the marketplace will sort it out.
Tiffany & Co had to sue E-bay because of the preponderance of fake Tiffany jewelry E-bay was allowing to be sold on their site (and every sail on EBay gives money to EBay) -- and their defense? They shrugged. People are generally good; they'll do the right thing. And then they made a 1 minute TV commercial implying that the same -- E-Bay can't be bothered to do due diligence and ensure what they allow on their site is kosher.
Turn a blind eye and shrug. Great government style.

[ckomeshian]

Exactly. Well said. Ebay got away with causing a lot of harm to companies and to honest buyers and sellers, too. I boycotted the site because of this. I hope everyone else stops supporting a business that profits from empowering crooks while feigning innocence on the way to the bank.

[cactusgal]

I was so bowled over by your piece that I can't think of a clever comment.

This is an issue I would like to study further.

[Steven Weber - Huffpost Blogger]

I'm poking you!

[sofu]

I already got T-Shirts Made up running Arriana Huffington for Governor of California again. Of course it is a jest. I had my photo with the lovely Arriana at Hotel Del Coronado when she was signing her book "PIGS AT THE TROUGH" ahaha.. and I stood behine her and got to make funny faces and stuff and poor dear didn't realy know I was gooofing. I then put the photos of me with Arriana on T-Shirts saying. Elect Arriana Huffington Governor and Martin (thats Me )Lieutenant Governor ahahaha. I did another T-shirt with same photos of me the lovely Arrianna and put the word PLEASE PLEASE VOTE FOR US WE BEG YOU ON OUR KNEES VOTE FOR US ARRIANA HUFFINGTON GOVERNOR AND MARTIN LIEUTENANT GOVEROR.

That was during the recall election couple years ago. I also met Maria Shriver and had my photo with her. Of course Arnold was running agains Arriana at the time. But I saw on TV when both Arnold and Arriana showed up to register to run and I when Maria Shriver turned around and saw Arriana they hugged each other. That yeard was fun cause I alsot met and had photo with Sharon Davis!

I put all three photoed with me on T-shirt Arriana, Maria, and Sharon with the words "WE ARE FAMILY IGOT ALL MY SISTERS WITH ME" AHAHAA THAT WAS FUN. Oh well this is the comedy blog I hope Arriana reads this.

[daddysboy]

You make it look easy and keep many of us in stitches. Keep up the great work!

[ManwithaParachute]

What did Gov. Gray davis do that was so bad?
AHNOLD was suppose to be able to work with both sides of the aisle to achieve what was needed.
Well, the terminator is doing a fine job for Cali.

You could asked the rest of America to contribute some money just to keep him in your state. Maybe they should cut taxes, that'll increase revenue. snicker.

[seenitall]

As a Californian, this really scares me. We can't seem to get it right.

[santamonica39]

hilarious.­... and so so sad.

[nikto]

When is America going to permit the "little people" who AREN'T billionair­e/Milliona­ire CEOs
to run for public office again?

Never again?

Not EVER?

Well, OK.

Democracy--Who needs it anyway?

[AnotherHuddy]

That is an issue I would like to study further.

[nikto]

Whitman comes off as just another corrupt CEO who wants to
reap more benefits for her social class.

I don't trust her one bit.

ENRON-style Government we DO NOT NEED!

[Eclectic Radical]

It should be noted that PayPal's security is ridiculously lax. I no longer have a PayPal account or do business on eBay for the simple reason that every PayPal account I have ever had has been hacked and looted. So what is really the point of repeating that cycle?

That said, Meg Whitman will probably be elected. California has an attraction to celebrity candidates, who usually win. What is more, California voters have not yet connected the state's constant shortage opf money and flirtations with bankruptcy with GOP anti-tax policy.

[Melanie226]

Some of us have made that connection, but there are a hell of a lot of conservatives who live here, and unfortunately, the corrupt Democratic screw ups in the legislature have not made swaying those conservatives any easier.

[daddysboy]

What about thirty or so other "celebrities" that were on the ballot when Arnold won the first time? Gary Coleman ... anyone?

[nevergiveup]

Meg Whitman--who has never ever held public office--will not win California.

That's the point of this article. Even Whitman's run for governor is an absurdity.
Being the CEO of a corporation (even one with such a high PR profile) and a company that portrays all that is wrong with corporate America, will not endear her to many Californians. Arnie's win was an aberration--lots of new young voters who thought, "Cool Dude. Terminator as Governator!" Like the rest of my fellow countrymen and women, we've "woken up" and fully understand the real threat to democracy, our economy and our future comes from Republicans who put Party first and "no new taxes" ranting first. The Re--thugs' old school rules about free market principles, unregulated banks, "trickle down my leg economics" and lots of anger and hatred toward gays, immigrants, the blind, the poor, teachers, scientists and children are no longer valid. The GOP is killing itself--this long ballet of anger, hatred and Party-first posturing is stunningly beautiful to watch--every single day.

[Tom Panek]

How outrageous! A female republican running for a governor! We should make a law to prevent this.
I can't imagine the arrogance of her for even suggesting the idea

[Eclectic Radical]

I think the issue is more that she was not the most competent or successful businesswoman and her political ideas are not entirely formed. Those that are, are bad. Her platform consists of her being a successful businesswoman (a lie, she nearly ruined a company that was great when she took it over), her championship of tax cuts (hardly a new thing in California politics, and California's anti-tax hysteria happens to be to blame for the state's constant budget mess), and an appeal to evangelical voters (disingenuous at best, a lie at worst, as she is a mainstream Presbyterian and her church does not hold many of the evangelical positions she is building as talking points).

I understand the desire to re-frame the argument as a bash against her gender. If one has to argue her merits as a candidate, one is doomed.

[daddysboy]

She could be a hermaphrodite and it still wouldn't make her qualified for the position.

[BlueOnBlue]

If Whitman follows the pattern she set at ebay, she will transform California into one large Walmart and then acquire Mississippi for "synergy."

She was once a business consultant. That job consists of figuring out what CEOs want to hear and then confirming they are right. Once she became the CEO, the circular reasoning drove her daft and she augured ebay into the ground.

Her signature accomplishment was buying Skype, the internet-based phone service. Completely misunderstanding how people were using ebay to sell one-to-one, she figured they would like to phone each other. Ebay sellers, hearing of the Skype deal, said, "huh?" Almost no sellers adopted the idea and Whitman had to write off a couple of years in ebay earnings because of the deal.

Another of her brilliant ideas was the Watch list, which allowed potential buyers the option of placing an item on Watch status, rather than bidding. Auction bidding took a major tumble, so she then turned to fixed price listings because the auctions were doing poorly.

Those are just a couple of examples in a long string of bad moves. She almost singlehandedly turned ebay into the worst-managed good idea on the Internet.