Five Questions for Meg Whitman
Meg Whitman, the richest female CEO in American history, will officially announce that she's running for Governor of California at 11:30 today. Because who doesn't love people who've made a lot of money in the market. As a rule, she only takes questions that are written in advance, so here goes.
Q) You've chosen Fullerton, California as the backdrop for this historic announcement. Fullerton is one of the few places in California with a Republican assemblyman, but I don't see him or her with you today. Why is that?
A) Trick question. Mike Duvall, Fullerton's (married) assemblyman, resigned earlier this month after boasting into an open microphone about how much he enjoyed having sex with a (married) lobbyist from Sempra Energy.
"She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so we had made love Wednesday -- a lot! And so she's, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me' So messy!" - Mike Duvall (R-Private Life)
Q) We're in a hotel lobby in the district of a recently disgraced adulterer with a potty mouth. California has so many lovely assembly districts. Couldn't your people have chosen you someplace better than this? Are they stupid?
A) Pretty stupid, but mostly just new to the whole thing. Remember, Meg Whitman is from Long Island. And until a year and half ago, her political affiliation was "decline to state." This is her first run for office. Any office. So she's still getting her feet wet. From walking down stairs behind Mike Duvall and his date.
Q) After an entire lifetime barely even voting for Republicans, last week you gave $250,000 to the California Republican Party, "to rebuild California with a Republican vision." This was six days after Mike Duvall went down for the dripping underpants thing. What got you so excited?
A) "So, I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah! Because you're such a bad girl!'" - Mike Duvall (R-Naughty Town)
Q) Speaking of Sempra Energy, lobbyists, and the vice chair of the Utilities and Commerce Committee, you have some pretty bold ideas about regulatory relief for the extraction industries. One of them involves AB 32, California's landmark legislation on greenhouse gas emissions. You -- let me check my notes here -- will cancel it on your first day as governor. Why? What did life on earth ever do to you?
A) I'm not being fair. Meg Whitman won't cancel AB 32. She can't. She'll just put a moratorium on it for 12 months, every 12 months.
"The governor has the ability to issue an executive order putting a moratorium on most AB 32-related rules. I urge him to do so. And if he does not, I will issue that order on my first day as governor."
- Meg Whitman (Decline to State-Long Island)
California is the 12th largest emitter of carbon in the world. The goal of AB 32 is to reduce carbon emissions to 1990 levels by 2020. This probably won't plunge the state into darkness. That's Sempra Energy's job.
Q) According to a Field Poll, 79% of Californians approve of AB 32. Why are you promising to gut it as your first act in any elected office? I know you're new to politics, but couldn't you get more votes by supporting something 79% of voters support?
A) Yes, but if I could find my ass with my hands I wouldn't be in Fullerton.
Here's the coolest single statistic about AB 32, and it'll tell you everything you need to know about California state politics:
According to the same Field Poll, 68% of Republican voters supported AB 32 in 2007. But when the measure was put to a vote by their elected officials, 60 out of 62 Republican state legislators voted against it.
Welcome to Rome.
Because the California Republican Party answers to a higher authority than its own voters. It answers to the Crazy Girls of Sempra Energy.
Meg Whitman has only been a Republican for a couple of days, but she's learning.
Arianna Huffington: Thank You, Glenn Beck!
Thank you, Glenn Beck. By helping force the resignation of Van Jones, you have done a great service to your country. But in the exact opposite way than you intended.
Meg Whitman for Governor of California
Meg Whitman - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Meg Whitman, EBay's former CEO, joins California governor's race ...
Meg Whitman Entering the Race for Governor - The Caucus Blog ...
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
AUG! A great read, Chris, but it was hard to have my lunch at the same time. Cream of mushroom, BTW. I hate Republicans.
Chris Kelly is hilarious. No wonder I like the Bill Maher show so much.
Helloooooo? Remember Enron? Pete Wilson and Ahhhhrnie invited them in to screw us ratepayers? We're still getting screwed by de-regulation. Remember Grandma Millie? The Enron traders?
Aug 11, 2003 | Arnold's secret meeting with Kenny Boy
If you're compiling a list of public figures even less popular in California than Gray Davis, one name is likely to top it: former Enron chairman Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay. Voters in the Golden State are behaving like sheep these days, but even the dimmest of them can probably remember how Enron and the other corporate vultures descended on them during the electricity "crisis" of 2001.
http://dir
"Blackout Pete" Wilson is the Electric Terminator
http://www
Can she see Alaska from her house?
great post and sooo funny. Let Whitman get in charge, she'll be auctioning off everything in California on ebay probably. It's so Cheney-esque, screw the voters and kick back some profits to your old company! Classic rethuglicanism!
After how bad Arnold was and how corrupt and beholden to the unions that the legislature is, anybody that doesn't have a D next to his/her name will do well.
Arnold is a Republican. The Enron energy crisis was caused by legislation signed into law by Pete Wilson, republican. Maybe it's time for a Democrat again.
What am I bid for Meg's chances of getting elected?
Close to zero.
What, are you auctioning it off on ebay??
Meg Whitman if elected (I hope not) will bring the same executive skills she brought to ebay. And that my dear Califorian
yeah, like how many times did she change up eBay, and it never got any better? Not impressed!
I couldn't agree with you more, but apparently people judge success on money, money, and even more money. E-bay continues to incorporate strange, useless and of course more costly changes. All this means is we will be flooded with her ads from here until election day. Wow, something to look forward to.
Yeah, they never look in on HOW people make the money. Whether it was corrupt, a handout, someone else's genius and what not.
For someone who is allegedly for lower taxes, she certainly had no problem raising fees on eBay sellers.
She is out of her element. I can't imagine a more ill timed advance into politics given her resume and resources.
"She is out of her element. I can't imagine a more ill timed advance into politics..
Mike Duvall (R-Naughty Town) that says it ALL !!!
Meg Whitman didn't "make a lot of money in the market." Along with Pierre, she's an eBay originator. Why do people who are smart, work hard and creative come under snide attack for their success? Envy?
She's not an originator, she was hired as CEO when the company was already up and running. She also has made a lot of money in the market. You really think she doesn't have a stock portfolio? Seriously?
correct. Of course she's got stock. What does chub think, she's making a killing with 2% interest at the bank? Sheesh.
Look into the deal that Meg Whitman brokered "buying" Skype for e-Bay. How much did e-Bay lose on that one?
Over $2,000,000,000 (maybe over $3,000,000,000 I don't remember).
It was a joke......
Very entertaining.
The Republicans would be making a mistake, I think, to nominate Meg Whitman. They already have a great candidate in Tom Campbell.
Chris Kelly, you are the bomb!
She thinks she has a chance after Schwarzenn
Give me a break.
Californication by Republicans has reached an end.
Ahnold is a bad guv to be sure but is he to blame for CA's problems? This is the bluest of blue states. Methinks the Dems who dominate state government deserve some blame too.
Gee, when we have regulations that require a 2/3 majority vote, I'd say that the MINORITY, aka the ReTHUGlicans, have a LOT more power than they should! Everyone has to bow to the minority so that things can be accomplished! Or do you not remember the hassle they had of trying to balance the budget, and how late the CA budget was?
No, "government by plebiscite" (e.g. Proposition 13) is to blame -- Californians want their government services, vote against paying for them, and then scratch their scalps bloody wondering why their state is broke.
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
