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Chris Kelly

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How to Predict When Mitt Romney Will Release His Tax Returns

Posted: 04/16/2012 4:52 am

"If people think there's something wrong with being successful in America, then they'd better vote for the other guy. Because I've been extraordinarily successful, and I want to use that success and that know-how to help the American people."
- Mitt Romney

"I stand ready to lead us down a different path, where we are lifted up by our desire to succeed, not dragged down by a resentment of success."
- Mitt Romney

"If we become one of those societies that attacks success, one outcome is certain -- there will be a lot less success."
-- Mitt Romney

"I'm not ashamed to say I was successful"
-- Mitt Romney

"I don't intend to release the tax returns. I don't."
-- Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney won't be filing his taxes tomorrow. Mitt Romney feels about his tax returns the way the bad guy in The Spy Who Loved Me feels about the plans for his submarine tracking device: Anyone who even comes into contact with them must die. So he's filed for an extension. And that's his prerogative, I suppose, but it kind of fights against the main argument for his candidacy, that he's a proud, success-drenched, successful successmaker, effulgent with, well, success.

"He knows the meaning of success."
-- Thunderball

You'd think Mitt Romney would want us to see his tax returns. So we could look upon his gross and tremble. The way if John Glenn were running, he might want us to see a list of the times he went into space. Maybe it wouldn't be germane to the job of president at all, but you have to admit, if John Glenn were running, and he refused to talk about space with the sustained obstinance that Mitt Romney refuses to talk about money, you'd start thinking something was up.

To get on board with Mitt Romney, you have to hold two ideas in your head. 1) You should vote for him, because he's made a lot of money and 2) You must never, ever ask about his money.

For reasons unknowable, for months now, Mitt Romney has been fighting against releasing his past tax returns. So it's not really surprising -- just pretty ballsy -- that he's filled for an extension on his 2011 taxes, and we may not see them before mid-October.

1) He's a financial super-genius. 2) He can't find the shoebox where he keeps his taxi receipts.

It sounds like a flimsy lie, but I suppose we have to take him at his word. He is a very successful man in the highly competitive field of success.

Mitt gets to choose when he'll pretend to finish doing his taxes. I'm not saying he's a devious sleazo, gaming our tax deadlines for political advantage -- that would be uncivil -- but I wouldn't be too surprised if his taxes didn't just happen to come out on a day when they'll get the least possible news coverage. A news cycle when, just by happy chance, there's some other big story. And the lower -- and more embarrassing -- Mitt's tax rate is, the bigger the news story it hides behind will have to be:

ROMNEY TAX RATE - EMBARRASSING EVENT

20% to 25% - Israel Bombs Iran

17% to 19.9% - Israel Nukes Iran

15% to 16.9% - Israel Nukes Iran; Radiation Gives Iranians Superpowers

13% to 14.9% - New iPhone

11% to 12.9% - Rise of Planet of the Apes

9% to 10.9% - World Series Goes Seven Games / Seven Earthquakes

7% to 8.9% - Earthquakes Cause Nipple Slip Facebook Hunger Games

5% to 6.9% - Kate Middleton and Prince William are Pregnant

3% to 4.9% - Pippa Middleton and Prince William are Pregnant

0% to 2.9% - Prince William is Pregnant

 
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"If people think there's something wrong with being successful in America, then they'd better vote for the other guy. Because I've been extraordinarily successful, and I want to use that success and t...
"If people think there's something wrong with being successful in America, then they'd better vote for the other guy. Because I've been extraordinarily successful, and I want to use that success and t...
 
 
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12:46 PM on 05/29/2012
Even scarier: Channeling God: The Audacity of Being Mitt bit.ly/Kxa77oedit
12:52 PM on 04/18/2012
Poor little Richie Rich.
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04:42 PM on 04/17/2012
Getting rich from pillaging companies then pillaging the nation, destroying lives as he does so, is not "success" by most peoples' definition. Including Jesus.
01:10 PM on 04/17/2012
Even worse are Romney's deliberate lies to make it seem like he is self made. Whenever he talks about his family money...and there was a LOT, notice how careful he is to say "After My Father Died".

i.e. I gave all the money I got "After My Father Died" away to BYU.

Yes, but he was given not only huge sums while his father was alive, but his fathers business connections, the church business connections "Romney is related to multiple church leaders etc..." all went to his company.

Romney is the son of an Auto company CEO who was CEO when the Auto companies owned Michigan, then his father became governor of Michigan, then one of the richest states in the country, and then he ran for President.

Romney is less Self Made than Paris Hilton.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
goleafsgo
A Lie stands on one leg, Truth on two.
10:20 AM on 04/18/2012
Thank you Cambel, for this post.   This has been my approach to Romney's "self-made man" boast.   It has been said by very rich and very successful business people that, if they were to lose all their money tomorrow, in no time at all they would be a millionaire/billionaire once more.  Romney was given an elite's upbringing with all the benefits that are accrued with that situation.   His ability to take advantage of all these connections you mention is exactly why he is wealthy.   So, you want to bet that when he gave away the money his father left him to BYU, ( of course this fact would do nothing to help him rise in the business world - LOL) he was very sure he would never be poor - that he had a road map - a plan - to becoming extremely wealthy.  It would never be in doubt.

What disturbs me more than most things about Romney is ability to lie - his ease and unflappability to speak untruths and to spin facts.   This is a man that should never be in control of the White House.
I feel that the people who are behind his rise to becoming the nominee are, because of his constant changing of positions, licking their chops that he would do their bidding once entrenched in the White House.   Scary!

FnF
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LazarusDurden
To Make A Long Story Short...
07:12 AM on 04/17/2012
Mitt's like that about everything it seems:

Mitt: "I have a plan to eliminate wasteful government agencies."
Everyone: "Okay what is it?"
Mitt: "I can't tell you. You'll just have to vote for me and find out."
01:54 PM on 04/17/2012
Sort of like "You have to vote for the bill to find out what's in it"?
03:39 AM on 04/17/2012
If money and success is what makes a good president, then shouldn't we be electing Warren Buffet instead of Mitt Romney?
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morris111
fac fortia et patere
07:48 PM on 04/17/2012
Buffet is too busy playing the crony capitalist stand up man for Obama and working on his own income tax problems to run....
Viper
Former repub, still repenting
02:26 AM on 04/17/2012
One man running wants to raise taxes on himself for the good of the country, the other wants to lower his taxes for his own good... let me see,. this is not a hard choice.

Mitt made money extracting others wealth by cutting their pay, outsourcing their jobs and the tax payers picking up the cost of the pension funds lost, unemployment, food stamps, medicaid...

Then that which was taxed at 30%(employee wages), plus medicare and soc sec taxes( almost 16%), is converted to just a 15% tax. No matter how much money Romney pays in taxes ..it never pays back the cost of his wealth extraction had overall in lost taxes and the expense of out of wrok workers, lost pensions made up by the tax payers...

Regards
RSGmusic
Instrumental music is great
06:38 AM on 04/17/2012
Good post Viper.

My Father faught in ww2 in Airforce on a Navel ship
and IN Korea in the Air Force on an navel carrier.

Great infromation
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
montanasian
Still trying to make it up the learning curve.
11:31 PM on 04/16/2012
You know he is ridiculously rich so whats the point other than you want to make this is the evil robber barron who has more money than me scenerio. This is an easy plot to follow. Everyone get a pitchfork and burn them at the stake, we peasants will storm the castle.
08:41 PM on 04/17/2012
Why so dramatic? All we need to make Mitt go back to his castle is the ballot box. That plot is not only easy to follow, it's a sequel. You go right ahead and vote for Richie Rich - we peasants are going to back the winner, again. Buh-bye.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
HopeMom
my micro-bio is empty
11:14 PM on 04/16/2012
and the new IPhone it is
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ralph asef
09:04 PM on 04/16/2012
What are you worried about Mitty? Any skeleton in the tax closet, by any chance ?
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
Maezeppa
Happy-Happy Joy-Joy
07:01 PM on 04/16/2012
I await the first ad that shows the Obama family gamboling with their dog Bo on the Whitehouse lawn ... as a Cadillac drives by with a dog strapped to the top.   Although I don't suppose "Dogs for Obama" would be much of a slogan.
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tnkeating
Dyslexic agnostic insomniac
06:59 PM on 04/16/2012
If I was Romney I would take my tax returns and burn them in the most public place possible and invite the press to watch it burn, (just a copy of course for symbolic purposes)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
vidian6
Consultant with hard advice
05:44 PM on 04/16/2012
When pigs fly is a good prediction.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DocJoseph
A bleeding heart will heal; a cold heart will not
12:35 PM on 04/17/2012
Agreed.
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MED1025
Here to save the day
04:52 PM on 04/16/2012
I'm a great guy and should be admired because I've made lots of money only I won't show anyone where it came from. Al Capone was rich, but hardly admired. It seems like Mitt is worried that hell be seen as more Al Capone than Warren Buffet.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
zepgeist
04:43 PM on 04/16/2012
I just wish I had a dollar for every time this man has run for office....I'd be in the 1%