I Want Condi

From the very beginning, the presidential race should have been between Sens. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton opposing Sen. McCain and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. It could still be if we quit wasting time.

-- Letter to the Editor, Wall Street Journal 08/12/08

I don't believe Condoleezza Rice can actually play piano. Everything else she's ever touched has been a fraud and a catastrophe, why should her alleged musical abilities be any different? Think about it. Think about any event she's been even remotely involved in since you first heard her name. An endless string of threats and blundering and arrogant bluffs turned squalid pigfucks. It's not that she can't do her job; she can't do anything. I think when she plays piano the piano catches fire and the audience dies.

So yeah, sure, Condoleezza Rice for Vice President. Time's a wastin'.

But there's one other thing that we're always told to keep in mind when we consider Condoleezza -- I mean, besides her wondrous ability to play an instrument: Whatever happens, It's not her fault.

Sure, she ignored the warnings about bin Laden, and she was shoe shopping during Katrina, and she can't find her ass with her hands on Lebanon, or North Korea, or Pakistan. It's not her fault because those aren't her area.

Her field of expertise is the Soviet Union. Ask anyone at the Hoover Institute. She's just brilliant on the Soviet Union.

She's written books on the Soviets, a dissertation even! She speaks Russian. She has impeccable credentials -- for a top slot in the Ford administration.

So it's not fair to get down on her for her inability to handle Zimbabwe or Iran or Venezuela; George W. Bush needed her at his side in case Brezhnev came back.

And she was a woman and a minority, too! Which would have been really something, in about 1975. But, considering the Berlin Wall had fallen in 1989, making a Sovietologist National Security Advisor was like putting Pocahontas in charge of NASA.

During Dr. Rice's tenure, we've had a devastating terrorist attack and two wars. Peace between Israel and the Palestinians went nowhere, and Pakistan sold everybody the bomb. In 2000, there was serious talk about making Bill Clinton Secretary General of the United Nations. In 2008, Mexico and England are the only places Air Force One can land without dropping flares.

But it wasn't her fault. She was standing watch on the Danube.

She's been trained since birth to handle Russia. If a strongman ever took over there she'd box him in faster than you could say "détente." And if that strongman ever even thought about invading somewhere? She'd know about it, and she'd slap him down faster than you could say "containment."

Or maybe not.

GEORGIA ROUTED AS PEACE BID FAILS

- Headline, Wall Street Journal 08/12/08

So where's Condi, while the French broker a peace treaty?

Has anyone checked the shoe stores?

Comments

[secondharmonic]

Thanks LaFemmes, that was an interesting comment. I too speak a foreign language and usually well enough to banter with just about anyone. But for another thing, way back when I bought a copy of Condi's thesis. Yes, even though she maybe reads Czech, her whole thesis was about the *structure* of the Czecjh military as being some sort of top-down Soviet creation. Nothing about the role of the military follwing the Prague Spring. Nothing even about Czech cultural ethos w.r.t. the military, i.e. the history of the Austro-Hungarian culture and its effects on Czech military culture. Talk about shoe-horning one's hypotheses.

[TRWSEW]

The way most of you go on, there is only one reasonable conclusion to your thoughts.

There is ablosutely NO Black Republican you could ever support. Except Colin Powell because you believe he betrayed Bush, which you think is admirable. Which he didn't.

If there is, which I've never heard come from the left, I'd love to hear the name of ANY BLACK Republican you support.

NAME just ONE, besides Powell.

If no one replies with one name, you will prove my point.

[cb4obama]

I'm thinking that there is no Republican (black, asian, latino, white, etc.) that i can support right now. What's race got to do with it?

[TRYKER]

Who in their right mind would support ANY rethuglican, black or white or green or hot pink?

[FanofPaine]

I actually think black (and gay) republicans have drunk the kool-aid so much that they are unsupportable by any logically thinking person. I mean at least some white republicans are smart enough to know that they are the only ones benefitting from the party and that's why they vote republican. Black people have to first convince themselves that the party has their best interest at hand then relay that back to people who know better.

[boogygran]

I do not currently support any Republican politician, period. What exactly is the point you're trying to make?

[Casanavelaw]

JC Watts, but they sort of threw him under the bus.

Of course Black Republicans are slightly more abundant than Islamic Popes.

[freshnotbitter]

Condi did not protect the interests of the people of the USA. The Secretary of State needs to step in and tell the President when he is making a mistake that will affect the interests of the USA for decades to come. she failed.

[ssg13565]

You people have it all wrong about Condi. She may turn out to be a great success. Now that there is some evidence of winding down of the war in Iraq, the price of oil was falling like a rock. Condi "Exxon" Rice's job was to stop the fall. With her Russia expertise she was able to trick the Georgians into tweaking Russia until Russia had to respond. I see the price of oil today is up $4.00.

You couldn't ask for a more astute Secretary of State once you understand her true mission.

[bobwalters]

Errrr, I think it is "Chevron" , which USED to be part of Standard Oil, from which both EXXON & Chevron are spin-offs -- not to be picky or anything. :--) But, hey...she'­s supposedly GREAT at shopping for shoes!

[ssg13565]

Thanks for the correction. I Googled it and it was Chevron's Condoleeza Rice. It has since been renamed to avoid controversy.

[horus07]

bingo!

[muffler]

Is anyone else tired of the wait and see approach? I for one don't see any reason in delaying judgment on things that any smart can see has already failed. There isn't a hint of genius, skill or craft in Condi's work. She is a failure completely.

[MagisterLudi]

In all fairness Condi can play piano, on an amateur level. Just like her politics. Strictly amateur. Kidding aside Brahms Quintet in F minor is not a an easy piece. The Presto is pretty splashy. I recommend daily Hanon... and putting ear plugs when Cheney walks into the room.

[bayside]

Condi must have a room full of shoes. She is always shopping for shoes.....­.......

[rmreddicks]

Bold statements from bold leaders. Or at least from leaders with something else on their agenda. On to (As a disclaimer, I have to say I'm on the Russian side in this one.}

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/WO0808/S00207.htm

[pdsimdars]

So nice to hear someone cut it so nicely.
"Condi, Hello, . . . . . . . . . "
"Paging, Ms. Rice . . . . . . . "
"Hellooooooooo . . . . . . . . . . . .anyone home?"

[MissDirection]

You mean the headline..­."Bush sends Rice to Georgia" wasn't about food?

[rmreddicks]

You mean it wasn't about Atlanta?

[pdsimdars]

BRILLIANT! I needed a good laugh!
Thank you.

[muffler]

There's a great place for shoes in Atlanta!

[paulfromportland]

Well, as an expert on Russia, shouldn't she be very familiar with two infamous Georgians, Joe Stalin and Newt Gingrich?

[ManhattanMC]

I've heard piano players-piano players are friends of mine-
Condi is no piano player-

seriously-
she barely rises above the intermediate level.

[Bladernr1001]

This piece is so ingenuious.

Condi is a public figure and as such is fair game to be critisized about anything..­.no problem there.

But what is so stupid is that only the republican side gets critisized on this site. Are you actually trying to get me to believe that the dem side could not also be legitimately attacked the same way? Are you kidding me?????

How about a little balance here. Do you think Obama knows any more than Condi about foreign affairs? I mean was Madeline Albright any better? I can't point to anything of substance that she did. I mean, at the end of the day is there really anything different about any of these people that could be singled out? I just don't see it.

I think our government should do less rather than more. It has not demonstrated that it can effectively handle any more.

I think all you liberals are going to be sadly dissappointed when you find out Obama or any other dem is no better (probaby no worse too) than any republican­.....At the end of the day they are all polititians with one objective in mind......­..get re-elected. I think you are all fooling yourselves if you think any side of the aisle truly has your best interests at heart.

[mexicanamerican1948]

You are talking logic, and common sense. Could this be possible??­Careful...

[miatch]

Albright said loud and proud that we should not invade Iraq, prior to that mistake. Did I say mistake? I meant biggest strategic disaster in the history of our nation.

So yeah, I can say Albright is better at foreign policy.

Barrack has a team of 300 foreign policy experts advising him, every one superior to Condi. And he doesn't fear hearing multiple point of view on a subject. Like a true leader should. He will be 1000 times better than Bush was at foreign policy.

[Bladernr1001]

What?...30­0 experts?..­...all better than Condi?

Where did he get these guys? When did you get a chance to read their resumes?..­..WHO ARE THEY?

it is you Obama kool-aide drinkers that will be the most disappointed 4 years from now. Believe me I have already lived this scam.

[pdsimdars]

Did you lose your way? Do you know where you are? Do you think Fox is "fair and balanced"? Have you ever read anything here before?
There has been lots of criticism of Democrats when they deserve it. Even criticism of Obama. It just happens that the Cons are so much more deserving in this one area, they have earned so much more criticism, it's hard to imagine ever putting it all down.
Some of those brain dead cons even try to compare the gutting of our economy and constitution to anything a Democrat has ever done. No, the Cons have broken our country and seem to be proud of it. If you don't like the criticism, go somewhere else. This place is only for people who can take a thought and actually think about it.

[jubal8]

OK, I think I can speak for Arianna when I say "You've got a deal." As soon as you convince Limbaugh and Hannity and etc. to be balanced in their broadcasts and on their websites, we'll get right on it.

[rmreddicks]

Apparently you haven't read too deeply. There is much criticism of the Democratic leadership here on huffpo.

[Gidster]

These pages take to task anyone that eschews their political duty for personal gain.

[Arielman]

I recall Dick Morris had at his site online had the page split for Ms. Rice and Mrs. Clinton as the two running for President. Later Tim Russert asked her three times on "Meet the Press" if she was running for President. Ruth Messenger, who ran a late campaign against the second term of then Mayor of New York City Rudolf Giuliani, and did pretty well, she a former Manhattan Borough President, said she thought former Secretary of State, General Colin Powell, was fired over his views of what America could be doing in Darfur, protecting the innocent. Perhaps his son, the former Chair of the FCC left in sympathy. Administrator after administrator has "bought the bullet" in the Bush White House it seems sometimes, leaving "I'm not running" actually using "reverse psychology" running the show!

[LWkcma]

"Whatever happens, It's not her fault". How Republican of her.

[Old Hippy]

I'm still giggling at the story. It would be kind of funny if it wasn't so true. Truth be told
Condi should be arrested and charged along with Cheney and Bush

[bruja]

Ditto. I totally agree with you. If Rice is so smart about Russia, why did she seemingly do nothing after Georgia was invaded. Oh yes, her boss and his friend, Vladie had their heads together at the Olympic games in China. Seems also that the USA supported Georgians struck first. We will never know the truth. As for her knowledge of Czech, if you understand one Slavic language, it is very easy to read or speak another. My mother spoke and read Polish. She understood every word the shoe-banging Kruzechev (not sure of the spelling) said at the UN. The famous, "We will bury you."

[aaronssongs]

Excellent assessment, Mr. Kelly. Condi Rice is a national embarrassment, and a personal one.
She only promised greatness, but never delivered. She has done absolutely nothing.
She is a moot point. She should retire, and never to be heard from again....o­n anything. Sad. Sad. Sad.