McDonald's Makes Jesus Cry
There are billions and billions of reasons to hate McDonald's. They took the McRib away, for one, and that burns. (Sometimes I almost wish I'd never loved it at all.) There's at least one good reason to like McDonald's: They're being boycotted by the American Family Association.
What did McDonald's do to cross the AFA, its president, Donald Wildmon, and -- by extension -- Jesus (R-Nz.)? They donated $20,000 to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. McDonald's' revenue runs about five billion dollars a quarter, so you can see their profound commitment to destroying the family through sodomy.
The AFA says that by donating one thousandth of one percent of its 2007 earnings,
"McDonald's has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda."
Which seems like a kind of shrill definition of "full weight," but maybe it's like the Quarter Pounder®, and it's the weight before cooking that counts.
It feels a little like the American Family Association was looking for someone to boycott and it was just McDonald's' turn. They've already boycotted Sears, Kohl's, Kmart, Target, Old Navy and IKEA. As a result, they're naked and don't have anywhere to sit. The McDonald's boycott follows boycotts of Burger King, Carl's Jr., 7-11, Proctor & Gamble and Kraft, which means Donald Wildmon hasn't eaten anything for sale in America since the late '70s. You'd think he'd be dead, but no.
(He's a good guy. I'll bet he loads up on locusts, beetles and grasshoppers, like it says in Leviticus. The same book that -- there's no getting around it -- says homosexuality is an abomination, absolutely as heinous in G*d's eyes as strong drink.)
Does the AFA hate homosexuals? Absolutely not! It says so, right on their website, under the heading and sub-head: "Does AFA Hate Homosexuals? Absolutely Not!"
Should McDonald's take the boycott seriously? The customer is always right, I guess. (I think that's from Deuteronomy.) But McDonald's might want to think about the kind of customers they're losing. They appear to be lunatics.
Oh look, here are some of their thoughts:
"YOU DID NOT BILD YOUR COMPANY ON HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE! IT WAS BUILD ON FAMILY VALUES! MAN,WIFE.CHILDREN!MOSTLTY CHILDREN! THEY DON'T COME FROM HOMO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What next, Adam & Steve in the children's happy meals? i WILL not condone the Corp. of Mc Donalds to force me to shop where it is not in lign with my believe in God and HIS scripture..."
"I have stopped at my last McDonald. If you support homos, that is fine with me. I do not have to eat your burgers. Maybe there are enough homos around to keep your arches open."
"I suppose next the playground will be open for pedifiles in order to not offend them."
"You have joined God's list of enemies!"
"What's next? Support for the Man-Boy Love Association! This shall not stand!"
"The McFaddin Family will vote with our Money and Feet and take our business elsewhere! You can stuff your Happy Gay Meal and Happy Gay Agenda where the Sun don't Shine!"
"If the McDonald's heirarchy thinks we'll buy their burgers and support deranged homosexual activists who force their lifestyle on innocent children in the public schools, they had better think again. Their burgers now have a smelly odor to them."
"You advertise straight to children (Happy Meals). Can anyone say pederasty? This lifestyle' you embolden is really a deathstyle!"
"The only thing you'll be cooking is yourselves, for eternity."
"the next thing you know RONALD will be molesting our children. No big macks for this family."
"Are you also going to support open activity between man and beast? You are helping to open the door to bestiality, sex with children, plural homosexual marriages and the list goes on!"
"Dear, McDonald's. Last week I ate a cheeseburger at your restaurant. If I would've known it was created by gay loving hands, I wouldn't have purchased it. Don't you guys know gays were behind the holocaust? First Jews, and now the family. What is next, McDonald's? Are you going to help gays eradicate sand? WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT SAND!?!?"
"I recently saw two young teenagers making out. I figure McDonalds is no longer my kind of place. I think the sixteen year old worked there."I just had a thought -- honest to God, I swear this wasn't where I was heading with this thing; I was just going to make a lot of snotty remarks about reductio ad absurdum and the McFaddin Family's feet -- but it occurs to me that McDonald's has done something brilliant:
They've deliberately offended a demographic they don't want.
For just $20,000, they've chased off all the crazy people who hang around McDonald's sputtering and ranting and making me not want to eat there.
It's genius.
Now, if they'd just bring back the McRib.
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
What's really scary is how these people associate homosexuality with child molestation. How could they be so ignorant and stupid?!
So ignorant and stupid that they think most black people are probably Muslims.
I honestly believe they throw comments like that out there just to make people angry - it's SO offensive that it's hard for a lot of people to respond intelligently - it just leaves one sputtering with indignation.
"I have stopped at my last McDonald. If you support homos, that is fine with me. I do not have to eat your burgers. Maybe there are enough homos around to keep your arches open."
Yeah, baby. Spread those arches wide.
McDonald's is doing those homo haters a favor. Now they won't get fat and die young. You'd think the AFA would be grateful.
Personally, I'd like to ban heterosexuality.
please. There's nothing wrong with eating at McDonalds. Just apply common sense and don't eat that type of food there or anywhere daily.
okay. I will.
holy goodness this was hilarious. my environmen
Since the Bible says Gayness is an abominatio
Should they not also be boycotting Seafood restaurants, Mrs Pauls, Tony Roma's and every Bar B Q place in the country?
I mean fair is fair... if you have to give up your Gayness, dont you have to give up your Oysters and Ribs also!
Regards
From my dictionary:
Christianofascist: A clean-shaven man who wears a poly-cotton blend shirt to Red Lobster, where he makes pronouncements against homosexuals while gesticulating with a shrimp in one hand and a lobster tail in the other.
I have always wondered about what kind of mental gymnastics one would have to do to be able to believe that 1) the bible is the absolute word of god and yet 2) you get to choose which parts are still "relevant" and which ones aren't.
I gave up my gayness when Reagan was foisted upon us. I've been grumpy ever since.
These are the same clowns that have held our country hostage for the last 7 years.
They're Funny because they're so ignorant but, as a group, they're scary .
Oh man, they do NOT want to know what I wound up doing in the Alexanderplatz McDonalds in Berlin last month...
(I kissed a guy)
Oh, oh the shame of my deviant, Jew-killing (apparently) deathstyle!
That part still has my head spinning..
That claim may have been a parody, but I know one strain of the homo-haters creed claims that Hitler and his henchmen were gay. Since gayness is the root of all evil, the Nazi crimes are therefore all effects of the gayness.
Another strain--or perhaps related--blames the Holocaust on secular Humanism.
Jonah "Doughy Pantload" Goldberg's recent book equating liberals with Nazis followed this same line of "reasoning
$20K?? That's all??? I am going to boycott McDonald's for not giving enough!
"...Nation
For some reason, that phrase almost caused me to sneeze coffee all over my keyboard.
I didn't know that had a Chamber of Commerce.
This this funny as hell...sti
Great post.
Holy crap that was funny. Seriously, I'm lovin' it.
Great post, particularly the sharing of the outraged comments. I've witnessed all too often the very same kind of ignorance, gullibility and total absence of language skills dsplayed regularly in the letters to the editor of my small-town, home town newspaper -- and I'm posting from there (or is that their) right now as I'm visiting. Better keep my mouth shut while I'm here or else I'll end up like the Dixie Chicks.
SamanthaJaneSalem -- you articulated an important phonomenon that needs to be addressed if our embattled republic and its citizens have any hope of moving forward.
WOW! I am still working on the sand thing. What the heck was that all about? Do they mean sandwiches? It would make more sense...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that was well placed sarcasm.
ONLY lunatics eat at McDOnalds to begin with.
Their food has been making me sick since they opened.
( I don't go there)
Agreed. Even by fast food standards, McD's alleged food is inedible.
i love mickey dees! but then i am a lunatic... we lunatics require special diets.
Actually, this is now a reason for me TO go and buy something, if only to show support. Still worried about there not being any more sand, though.
If you don't go there, how do you know they make you sick? ;-P
I'm surprised more people didn't make comments like this. McDonald's food is truly vile. Its designed to be addictive and to give you a sugar rush but trust me go for a few months without it and the smell from a McD's will be nauseating.
Sorry RedDogbear, I try to avoid fast food and because I live in the boonies can go for
months without exposure to it. But when I smell the greasy aroma emanating from
Mickie D's I know I want one.
Shows how messed up the AFA's prorities are. If they really cared about Americans, they would have called for the boycott of Macky D's for all the damage their food has caused in terms of obesity in America (Morgan Spurlock excluded - his was a self-inflicted exageratio
Hats off to Mickey D's....the
Now, i'm curious...
The coffee was too hot by company policy. The woman suffered third degree burns and required skin grafts. McDonalds changed the coffee temperature policy after that happened.
Although Christians are the biggest complainer on Earth, I doubt that the burned woman was one of those nuts. She said she burned her vagina...e
How do those people with function with single-digit IQs!?
I try to look on the bright side. The more idiots there are like this out there, the better my kids will do competing against them for jobs.
yes, true point.....
You are exactly right. Evangelicals are simply right wing lunatic fringers. I have several in-laws that are like that and they make my stomach turn as they pretend to be "Christian". They may want to reconsider their “reward” in the afterlife.
Once again (how often does it have to be said?), there's a substantial difference between fundamentalist groups like the AFA and mainline Evangelicals, and the gap is growing wider every day thanks to lunatic actions like this one. Confusing the two only helps reconcile them.
That said, a lot of people feel that the McRib was the most vomitous concoction ever foisted on a gullible public by a fastfood joint, and that covers a lot. Tacos & TaterTots, anyone?
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
