Meg Whitman Week -- Friday: Share the Wealth

Al Checchi spent forty million dollars of his own money running for governor of California. He didn't even get his party's nomination. Bill Simon lent himself ten million dollars to lose to Gray Davis. Let me type that again. To lose. To Gray Davis. Georges Marciano, one of the founders of Guess? Jeans, is running a self-financed run for governor right now. This is a man with so little to justify his own existence he actually started a company with a question mark in it. "Question mark," in Marciano's case, being short for "Who the fuck are you, question mark."

And god bless 'em all.

The key to a California vanity campaign is lots and lots of television advertising, and ad rates are down this year. The TV industry needs the money.

Meg Whitman has already committed four million dollars of her own money to making herself governor, and the only person who's talking about her is me, and I ran out of things to say days ago.

She's hinted that she'll spend another $40 million, and that's good. Let's get that money back in circulation. Don't think of her as a malevolent cipher on a midlife ego trip. Think of her as a stimulus package. For the advertising and consulting industries.

There are crazier things she could do.

In 1884, an aimless millionairess moved to California and bought an eight-room farmhouse in San Jose. Her name was Sarah Winchester. She had twenty million dollars from the Winchester Repeating Arms Company, and the way she revitalized the economy was by renovating, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for the next 38 years.

There was never a plan for any of the work. She built rooms and had them boarded up again. Staircases go nowhere and doors - eventually there were 467 of them - open onto brick walls and fourteen-foot drops. There are 47 fireplaces, some with chimneys that have no way of venting smoke to the outside. 50 skylights, including one that only lets light in from the room upstairs. 40 bdrms, 13 bths, 6 EIKs. Grt views! through 1000 windows, most with thirteen panes of glass.

She spent five million dollars between 1884 and 1922, which proves, once and for all, that we must repeal the estate tax NOW! If the state had gotten its hands on that money they would have probably just blown it on irrigation or fighting polio.

Here's how Meg Whitman is completely different from Sarah Winchester: Sarah Winchester left us something. The house is a museum. All we're going to get from Whitman for Governor is sick of her ads.

Here's another way they're different. Sarah Winchester was a nut. According to legend at least, she was building the house to ward off ghosts. A psychic had told her that the spirits of people who'd been killed by Winchester rifles were coming to get her. According to legend, at least, she was building the house to confuse them. She was crippled with remorse.

In 2007, when Meg Whitman was running eBay, an Idaho gun shop used the service to sell extended ammunition magazines for a Walther P22 to a Virginia Tech senior named Seung-Hui Cho. Cho killed 32 people and himself. If this bothered Meg Whitman, we never heard about it. It certainly didn't make her crazy with guilt, like some people. EBay changed its policies, but she kept her cut of the money.

And now, through her campaign, in a small, touching way, she's going to share that money with us.

Comments

[zanzig]

"I ran out of things to say days ago." Oh say it ain't so; I've enjoyed the daily round up of this utterly narcissistic person's insane trip.

[jon e 7]

Don't know from Lisa what's her name, but do know funny, and U R...why is California like a bowl of Granola --- what ain't ain't nuts and fruits,is flakes

[PanFx]

Chris, you forgot one entry in your millionair­es-who-ran­-for-offic­e-and-lost­: Michael Huffington -- Ariana's ex-husband. From Wikipedia:

"After one term in the House, Huffington used $28 million dollars of his own money in a bid for a seat in the United States Senate in 1994. In the Republican primary, he defeated William E. Dannemeyer. At the time, Huffington's was the most expensive campaign in a non-presidential election in American history. Huffington lost in the general election by 1.9 percent of the vote to Dianne Feinstein.­"

I have nothing against the guy, I'm just saying that his was a prominent [expensive] failure in politics. Other than that failure, Mr. Huffington looks like he's accomplished quite a bit, including being a blogger on this site (didn't know that until today!).

[RG59U]

Hillary Clinton lent her self a load of money, and when her 18 million cracks in the ceiling didn't come through with 2 bucks each last fall, she "sold" her mailing list of donors (Webster's Dictionary: an Oxymoron) to her significant others' organizations and foundations. I am now waiting for PBO to forward me some of their Emails just to provide cover now, after donating exclusively to him before Edwards, Richardson, Clinton, et. al.). I am already getting loads from some others with private meetings I never contacted.

Rich people who run with their personal money loans aren't stupid: they will be repaid later one way or the other: both for their loans, and with appointments. I wouldn't laugh too hard about Bill Simon, or Arianna; until we see their tax returns, I am sure they are made more than whole at the end of the day.

[GEM in Orange]

Just for some explanation, Sarah Winchester was convinced that she was being haunted by the ghosts of all of the people killed by Winchester guns. Someone told her that as long as there was the sound of building in her house, she would be safe. Another example: She had doors with Tiffany glass installed in the main entrance. The next day, the 1906 earthquake struck San Francisco. Sarah had the entrance boarded up and never used.

[TotalRecall9]

Giving millions to networks isn't going to help anybody but the network executives!!! How about raising the taxes on these rich misers? I guarantee you if I burnt down every millionaire's & billionaire's home, then this economy would be a whole lot better because they would have to buy new houses, furniture, clothes, appliances, etc. A progressive tax rate on the rich is what is necessary now! Right now, it's just a 35% flat tax on the rich.

[paulcanning]

Nothing Chris does is pathetic. He is a god and I worship him.

[zenmonkman]

It's good for people to have gods ... it keeps all conflict in the perspective of right and wrong. One day there may be a politic of "good leadership through sane logic".

[EngineerBill]

The real crazy thing is why anybody would want to be governor of this state? It is full of people who want services but won't pay for them. The people of this state is about to defeat a special election ballot of props designed to deal with this emergency. An emergency that was caused in large part by prop 13 and others that straight jacketed this government. Being governor here is like being the captain of the Titanic and trying to steer clear of the Iceberg but the passengers won't let you steer because the resulting ship tilt would spill their drinks.

[martinchill]

lol - nice

[tjc76]

Obviously running out of things to rip on Meg Whitman about. Thanks for wasting the last two minutes of my life. Keep your day job, I like Bill's show.

[WilliePilgrim]

I think what she needs to do is buy an Island first...on ebay of course.

[mightyhead]

I thought Arnold was a great idea, in theory, and I'm all about Al Franken - let's get people outside government with their own pile of money into leadership positions, maybe something will change. Now we have Meg trying to ride that train. Seeing how politics is merely the shadow of Big Business, this would be the exact antithesis of Get Me Out of Here, I'm a Celebrity government. Chris, you are dead on the money - she wants in to change the laws she has broken to make her feel better about herself.

[zenmonkman]

Is this guy sane or subliminally reflecting his own neurosis on California politics? I sure hope that as a writer for Bill Maher Chris Kelly can’t rid himself of writing for political comedy shows. Bill Maher is a comic in the vein of Jon Stewart. Now, how in the world did he get an article in the Huffington Post? That’s okay if it is meant to provoke. Maybe!?! But, honestly reflecting in a disingenuous way on modern politics and relating it to the Winchester mansion is raucously comical at best, rancidly stupid as its worst. I hope that Comedy Central has writing positions open, maybe South Park, or Stand-up (where Bill Maher got his start). This was a pathetic article.

[DummieBommieDave]

You seem to don't not have a problem with double and triple negatives. Do you or maybe not? Don't?

[zenmonkman]

@ DummieBommieDave: It seems that grammar is more important to you than the idea and logic represented in my statement. (Note: Ivory towers are a vestige of Nietzsche-ian ideals.) My point is that reducing politics to sublime and arcane logical connections deludes the ideals that will lead us to a better place. That is, make a better case of California politics rather than reducing the situation to historical whimsy.

[philistine]

I vote for "raucously comical."

[zenmonkman]

I agree philistine