Mitt Romney Lies About Vietnam

"I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like I was there as part of the troops that were fighting in Vietnam."

- Mitt Romney, Boston Globe, 6/24/07

"I was not planning on signing up for the military. It was not my desire to go off and serve in Vietnam."

- Mitt Romney, Boston Herald, 5/2/94

Okay, when I saw these two quotes, on Townhall.com this morning, I thought: This looks kind of bad. John McCain has a pretty clear record on Vietnam -- he bombed it -- whereas Mitt Romney spent the turbulent '60s proselytizing to the French. Now we find out that Mitt Romney both passionately wanted to serve his country under arms and had no interest in doing anything of the sort. At the very least, it doesn't seem terribly consistent. To a biased reader, it might even seem like he's full of shit.

But I knew that couldn't be right. So I read it again.

Here's where I'd gotten confused. Mitt Romney "longed" to be in Vietnam, but his "desire" was to be not in Vietnam.

Is this really a contradiction? Only if you don't appreciate that longing and desire are two totally different things.

Socrates knew they were as different as different could be. That's why he called one thumos and the other epithumetikon, the dark and light horses that pull the chariot of the lover's soul.

Mitt Romney famously snapped at Mike Huckabee: "Governor, don't try to characterize my position." (You might as well try to calculate Pi, Gomer.) In this case, though, to understand what Mitt Romney is getting at, you just have to go back and reread Pheadrus.

"Now, when the charioteer (Mitt Romney) beholds the vision of love (Vietnam), and has his whole soul warmed through sense, and is full of the prickings and ticklings of desire, the obedient steed (thumos, the desire to go somewhere other than Vietnam) then as always under the government of shame, refrains from leaping on the beloved; but the other (epithumetikon, the longing to be "in the shit"), heedless of the pricks and of the blows of the whip, plunges and runs away, giving all manner of trouble to his companion and the charioteer, whom he forces to approach the beloved and remember the joys of love."

(Only by taming both horses, by synthesizing longing and desire, can the soul of the lover follow the beloved in modesty and fear. Not unlike how Tony Blair used to look at George Bush.)

So you see? It all makes perfect sense, when you understand that Mitt Romney was talking about two entirely different parts of his soul.

Like the half that doesn't hunt, and the half that hunts.

It's all about the id and the superego. Of course Mitt wanted to get shot down over Hanoi and locked in a box for five years -- who wouldn't? -- but his better angels told him to go to Cannes and spread the Word of the Lord, except to black people.

--

The Fighting Romneys Extra

It's been six months since Mitt Romney was asked why none of his sons were in Iraq, and answered:

"One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."

And he's still a candidate for the nomination. (Okay, barely.) Let's pretend a Democratic politician had said the same thing. How long would it have been -- in hours -- before he was forced out of public life forever?

Comments

[doodlefarbe]

Damme, Chris, that was funny. Thanks for bringing this one up (don't go to townhall all that often).

Wonder if Borowitz could take a spin on this one.

MittMops_FlipFlops, Get `Em While They're Hot.(TM, Registration Pending).

[KarenZipdrive]

I long for Romney to be pushed out of this race. I desire the same damn thing.
ANY so-called 'conservative' Republican who lied enough to successfully be elected as Governor of the most liberal state in the union is, simply put, a fucking snake who'll say anything to get elected.
Though Romney is better looking and more articulate than George W. Bush, I get the same sense of outrage when I see or hear him on TV.
I detest obvious liars and panderers, and Mitts is both.

[dirigo1]

We few, "we happy few" who did get to go to Vietnam, basically longed to leave as soon as we got there.
I can't recall talking to any comrade I served with at the time who jumped out of his rack, either with the bang of dawn or in the dead of night, crying, "I longed to be here, and by God, here I am"!
Never happened, although I did serve under a really crazy major once. He yelled a lot and was prone to issuing one nutty order after another. He was out to make colonel, no matter the cost. Anyway, he appeared to me later as a character in Catch 22.
Mitt could have been a great aspiring minor major.
But this is the thing: Mitt is just one in a long line of fakers when it comes to the Vietnam War.
It's old news.
Over and out.

[HarveyD]

Is there a more duplicitous, cowardly, congenital liar in all of politics than this sorry-ass excuse for a human being? Well...not counting Bush & Cheney of course.

[mommadona]

Mitt Romney is being backed in this race for one reason, and one reason only.

George H W Bush want his PROPER son to have a
shot at grabbing the government machinery.

It is imperative at this time that JEB BUSH be in a position to 'take control'.....

The only reason Romney is in the race is to provide JEB BUSH the VP spot - to bump him up for 2012.

We're talking the biggest Mayberry Mafia move
on the apparatus of the nation's government for
their own economic gain and power.

Tell me - who's professional team does Romney
have? Check out his 'staff'. (They were
actually dumb enough to start up blogs at the
beginning of Romney's run stating their
actual goal)

It's fundamentalist neo-con heaven.

[HLM]

"What's that smell...? Didn't you notice it...? Didn't you notice the powerful and obnoxious odor of mendacity...?"
Tennessee Williams
Cat On a Hot Tin Roof

I visited Cannes a time or two in the 60s about the same time Mitt claims to have been there.

I wondered what the smell was...

[TLV]

We've had enough of liars. Mitt Romney will not set foot in the White House.

[Sidewhispers]

This is the same Mitt that longed/desired himself into actually kinda sorta marching with MLK. However, for your sake, Chris, I want him to be nominated, so that you can have a few more month's of fun with this golden goose of comedy.

[samguy]

So anyone else thinking of Lewiss Caroll?

[BushBites]

We settled this in 2004.

Draft Dodgers beat War Heroes every time.

Don't blame me if the United States is full of people who vote for Sleazeball Cowards like Bush and Mitt.

[vipersdad]

Yes...the Mittster is a conundrum wrapped in a riddle, packaged in enigma...uhmmm.... then sealed in bullshit.

We don't need another accomplished Liar in Washington. That quota was exceeded years ago. By the standards of liar-ship, Mitt is a much a Washington Insider as anyone else there.

Elect the guy who project managed the Olympic games! He says that qualifies him.

[RogerHWerner]

As usual, Chris Kelly is hysterical and I can't read his columns without cracking up. I have to wonder if politicians truly understand what they say or do they simply speak in hopes that people either won't listen (and remember) or have a clue about the meaning of what's being said.

I heard an interesting discussion on the radio yesterday having to do with the impact of the internet on this election. Obviously, it seems clear to anyone who reads this web site that the impact of the internet is going to be huge. Every Democratic and Ron Paul understood this early on and used virtually every internet tool available to get out his or her message. By doing so they each embraced what may be thought of as bottom up electioneering. Every GOP candidate except Ron Paul resisted this type of campaigning and they still resist it. In fact, they seem to possess a pathological fear of the bottom up approach. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why they fear it. The internet is full of people like Chris Kelly who take what a politician says and then spits it right back. If what is being said is garbage or lies it becomes very obvious very quickly. Obfuscation and lies have been the allies of politician and it's a lot harder to get away with it today.

[rwe]

did not lie as much as Kerry did

[JerseyBob]

A Portrait of Mitt "Dorian" Romney
(Also known as Portrait of a Flip Flopper)


Some blues have turned to red.
And his head’s a bit awry.
An eye has gone to bed,
and an ear is on his tie.

The portrait in the attic
is true to Mitt’s bare soul;
and it’s really quite dramatic
to see this hidden toll

As oils run in that dark place,
on a portrait kept at bay.
Romney runs a heated race,
a race to lose on a clear bright, bright day.

(Thanks Oscar Wilde. Socrates lives.)

[huffnpuffn]

Mitt Romney is more brand than human being. The purpose of his campaign is to get you to project whatever kinds of good feelings you have onto him while he hides all the shit he'd rather not have you know about.

Mitt : Vietnam :: Nike : sweatshop labor

Ron Paul is the only sane, honest Republican.