Mitt Romney Lies About Vietnam

"I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like I was there as part of the troops that were fighting in Vietnam."

- Mitt Romney, Boston Globe, 6/24/07

"I was not planning on signing up for the military. It was not my desire to go off and serve in Vietnam."

- Mitt Romney, Boston Herald, 5/2/94

Okay, when I saw these two quotes, on Townhall.com this morning, I thought: This looks kind of bad. John McCain has a pretty clear record on Vietnam -- he bombed it -- whereas Mitt Romney spent the turbulent '60s proselytizing to the French. Now we find out that Mitt Romney both passionately wanted to serve his country under arms and had no interest in doing anything of the sort. At the very least, it doesn't seem terribly consistent. To a biased reader, it might even seem like he's full of shit.

But I knew that couldn't be right. So I read it again.

Here's where I'd gotten confused. Mitt Romney "longed" to be in Vietnam, but his "desire" was to be not in Vietnam.

Is this really a contradiction? Only if you don't appreciate that longing and desire are two totally different things.

Socrates knew they were as different as different could be. That's why he called one thumos and the other epithumetikon, the dark and light horses that pull the chariot of the lover's soul.

Mitt Romney famously snapped at Mike Huckabee: "Governor, don't try to characterize my position." (You might as well try to calculate Pi, Gomer.) In this case, though, to understand what Mitt Romney is getting at, you just have to go back and reread Pheadrus.

"Now, when the charioteer (Mitt Romney) beholds the vision of love (Vietnam), and has his whole soul warmed through sense, and is full of the prickings and ticklings of desire, the obedient steed (thumos, the desire to go somewhere other than Vietnam) then as always under the government of shame, refrains from leaping on the beloved; but the other (epithumetikon, the longing to be "in the shit"), heedless of the pricks and of the blows of the whip, plunges and runs away, giving all manner of trouble to his companion and the charioteer, whom he forces to approach the beloved and remember the joys of love."

(Only by taming both horses, by synthesizing longing and desire, can the soul of the lover follow the beloved in modesty and fear. Not unlike how Tony Blair used to look at George Bush.)

So you see? It all makes perfect sense, when you understand that Mitt Romney was talking about two entirely different parts of his soul.

Like the half that doesn't hunt, and the half that hunts.

It's all about the id and the superego. Of course Mitt wanted to get shot down over Hanoi and locked in a box for five years -- who wouldn't? -- but his better angels told him to go to Cannes and spread the Word of the Lord, except to black people.

--

The Fighting Romneys Extra

It's been six months since Mitt Romney was asked why none of his sons were in Iraq, and answered:

"One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."

And he's still a candidate for the nomination. (Okay, barely.) Let's pretend a Democratic politician had said the same thing. How long would it have been -- in hours -- before he was forced out of public life forever?

Comments

[EngineerBill]

Chris you make me laugh every time. Mitt wasn't pro-gay rights or Pro-choice as governor. He just presided over pro-choice and pro-gay rights legislative activities.

[DenverCurmudgeon]

Can someone please explain why there is NO coverage of the fact that Mitt Romney's Bain Capital Group purchased Clear Channel Communications in 2006?

Clear Channel OWNS the production company that produces and syndicates Rush Limbaugh.

[ClosetExtrovert]

Deep. Which one of Romney's souls will be running the country, do ya think? I think the oil and defense companies part...and other parts he sold to the highest bidder.

Nice, though, to think about Mitt preaching to the poor non-morman blacks of Cannes. Heartwarming, really.

Thank you Chris!!

[tstamp]

oh my god. laughing so hard, my 2 year old thinks Im crazy. "mama, funny?" Yes, very, very funny.

[CAPTAINSKIPPY]

Mitt is using the Rudy formula:
Subject; Verb; Name a topic; that is,
Mitt Romney + lies about + (topic).

[desmirl]

Mitt Romney is the epitome of the Proud American Chickenhawk. He preens his plumage as he tells us that, as president, no one would be tougher on our enemies or more forceful in our defense. But, when it was his time to serve in Vietnam, he hid out in .... FRANCE? OMG! It Mitt was a Democrat running for President, the villagers would have been running his direction with torches and pitchforks!

[Buford]

Will Romney's sons receive Veteran status for surviving the quagmire of his campaign?

[jackstraw005]

ok this is hysterical. i just read the above quotes to a romney supporter. and of course its very simply explained. those were made up statements to sell newspapers. see its all so simple to republicans. if they dont like it, its a lie. and they say America isnt broken. maybe not but an awful lot of the people are.

[jpopphan]

How long would a Democrat last who had claimed that his children were serving the country by helping him/her get elected? About 15 seconds.

But, as usual, Republicans can say and do practically anything and the media just looks the other way.

If the media really did its job, Romney would have been drummed out long ago from the running. Talk about "flip-flop"!!

[Dave24]

A religious asshole like Romney is contradicting himself? Get out of town. A man who ignorantly opposes a woman's right to choose, opposes federally funded stem-cell research that can potentially help end the suffering of millions of people, and who is against allowing tax-paying American citizens who are protected under the constitution to hold civil unions with other tax-paying American citizens who also are protected under the constitution (ie gay marriage) - contradicts himself? I don't believe it for a second. Actually, yes I do believe it. Oh my god, I contradicted myself too!

[DarkHelmut9er]

it's only obscure if you don't read much (or well). Let the man write what he wants.

[RabidRightRebel]

I think you were right the first time, "To a biased reader, it might even seem like he's full of shit." But great story just the same.

[DasBoot]

Come on, where else can we read a hilarious satirical treatment of American politics sprinkled with references to Socrates? Thank you, thank you, thank you Chris for pleasing the Bildungssnob in me.

[truthiness]

"Mitt Romney lies" is redundant.

[WilliePilgrim]

Best Chris Kelly piece...ever. That Romney is still percieved as anything but the charicature of a candidate continues to astound me, though the fact that he has the deluded wanna-be conservatives of the current GOP in love with him, is amusing and underscores just how screwed-up things are...and I hope it'll give us the heads-up needed to steer the ship of state back onto a course intended to take us towards something resembling enlightenment and not towards the mormon's version of the Dark Ages.