Prominent Democrats Back McCain

Prominent Democrats Back McCain

- Newsmax.com headline 6/15/08

I usually only read Newsmax for the non-prescription boner pill ads. ("Not only can I get it up, but I can also last for a while." -- Vialipro ®. "Leonard has a larger penis. There is no doubt about it." -- Orexis ™) But when I saw the headline about prominent Democrats backing McCain, I had to click on it.

Who would it be? Gore? Daschle? Byrd? John Glenn?

Were the wounds from the primaries so deep? Were there new doubts about Barack? Was the party tearing itself apart? Is John Glenn even alive?

Relax.

It turns out when Newsmax says "prominent Democrats" they mean one former congressman, three ex-mayors and former Palmyra, Maine Budget Committee Member Herb Bates.

I don't know what kind of style sheet they work off at Newsmax, but the use of "Prominent" feels like kind of an exaggeration.

Makes you wonder if they're also lying about Leonard's penis.

--

Now, for all I know, Herb Bates is the Rasputin of Palmyra, Maine, and when he laughs, respectable senators burst with laughter, and when he cries children die in the streets. But probably not.

He's just on the Budget Committee. The real power's with the Palmyra Board of Selectpersons.

But let's not get hung up on "Boss" Bates. Here's the whole list, in Newsmax order.

Former Phoenix Mayor Paul Johnson (Arizona)

Former Arizona State Legislator Phil Hubbard (Arizona)

Mammoth Mayor Craig Williams (Arizona)

(Population 2,167, by the way.)

Former Arizona LULAC Director Ray Gans (Arizona)

Democratic 25th Precinct Chair Silverio "Silver" Salazar (Colorado)

Adviser to Democratic Presidential Candidates and Georgetown University Professor
Robert Lieber (District of Columbia)

(According to his Georgetown bio, he's not only the author of fourteen books on international relations, he can also read, but not speak, French.)

Blogger on HillaryClinton.com Renee Slater (Florida)

(Not the Renee Slater!)

Former Sheriff of Highlands County Howard Godwin (Florida)

Jewish Outreach Adviser to Senator Hillary Clinton Rabbi Cheryl Jacobs

Georgia Political Director for Gore-Lieberman '00 Joseph O'Farrell Jr. (Georgia)

Former Democratic Des Moines County Chair Bruce Shulte (Illinois)

Former State Representative Brian Golden (Massachusetts)

Commander of Newport Memorial-VFW Post 1119 Francis Harding, Jr. (Maine)

(That's one Maine VFW Post Commander down, thirty Maine VFW Post Commanders to go.)

Former Palmyra Budget Committee Member Herb Bates (Maine)

(Home of the Madawaska Bog Wildlife Preserve!)

Former Lt. Governor and State Supreme Court Justice Alexander "Sandy" Keith (Minnesota)

Former U.S Representative and 2002 Independence Party gubernatorial candidate Tim Penny (Minnesota)

Former State Representative Steve Wenzel (Minnesota)

City Clerk Judi May (Mississippi)

(Specifically, Mendenhall, Mississippi. Population 2,555.)

County Supervisor Gary Dearman (Mississippi)

Alderman Bill Mosby (Mississippi)

(Specifically, Canton. Town motto: "What you need, when you need it." Which, when you think about it, would also be a pretty good motto for Vialipro ®.)

Former State Representative Jim Gamache (Missouri)

Presiding Commissioner in New Madrid County, Clyde Hawes (Missouri)

(Population 895.)

Former Concord Mayor Bill Veroneau (New Hampshire)

Former Democratic Mayor of Waterford Township George Fallon (New Jersey)

Former Democratic Committeeman in Warren Township Jeffrey Golkin (New Jersey)

Former State Chair of Environmentalists for Clinton-Gore 1992 Roberta Weisbrod (New York)

Former Majority Leader in the State Senate David Carlin (Rhode Island)

Former Texas Democratic Party Chairman Roy Orr (Texas)

Elected National Delegate for Senator Hillary Clinton Debra Bartoshevich (Wisconsin)

Former Democratic gubernatorial candidate Philip Frye (West Virginia)

(They'll probably regret putting his name on the list. Philip Frye is a headcase. Frye is a West Virginia VCR repairman who ran for office because then-governor Jim Wise was having an affair with his wife. (And not even returning her rewound.) He got 1% of the vote.)

--

The most prominent Democrat on his list is a VCR repairman/cuckold. If the Coen brothers started making funny movies again, he wouldn't even get a whole one to himself.

But here's the thing that really struck me, the more I thought about this pathetic list: Is there anyone in America who hasn't worked for the government?

Does it really take five guys to govern Palmyra, Maine? What would happen to New Madrid County without a Presiding Commissioner? Would Dunklin County invade and take away their freedom?

When John McCain says government is too big, what do these people think he means?

Who are we kidding?

John McCain was in the navy and then he was in the U.S. Senate. He has never cashed a check a bureaucrat didn't write. I'm not trying to be glib, and I realize he was doing a solemn and dangerous job, killing people from the sky. But it was still government work.

Wait, except for those years as a POW. A sick but undeniable fact about John McCain: The only period in his life when he wasn't living off the American taxpayer, he was living off the Vietnamese taxpayer.

John McCain's father was in the navy and his father was in the navy. The last McCain who didn't live in government housing owned a plantation in Mississippi when the state still had slaves.

Which is why John McCain always sounds so emotional when he gets to this line in his stump speech:

"I am absolutely committed to reducing the size of government."

What he's promising is eventually he'll die.

--

Oh, by the way, John Glenn's fine.

Comments

[pacats]

Was Ed Koch on the list. He voted for Bush in 04.

[cobobs]

Ed Koch, simultaneously hilarious and sinister like the Joker. That man creeps me out. Lucky for the rest of us, only NYC needed to endure him.

[Quitcherbichin]

Koch voted for Bush because he knew that he would stand up to the terrorists, and not be an appeaser of the likes of Kerry. After all he witnessed first hand the devastation of 9/11.

[Pometacom]

Commander of Newport Memorial-VFW Post 1119 Francis Harding, Jr. (Maine)

I went to UMaine-Orono with Mr. Harding's son, Frank.

[buggedabouttheus]

Hilarious! Whenever I need a little levity I find it reading a political post. It never fails.

Chris Kelly keep posting 'em!

[2012isnear]

The last part about McCain is the most insightful political commentary out of the USA since like forever.

[Sciguy]

Absolutely excellent post - thank you.

[yhgtup]

All these no-name traitors probably don't know how to use a computer, either.

[booksnmore4you]

I agree with the article but its very bad when we have bloggers who are so ignorant of graduate school and academia as to make fun of an academic (in this case, Georgetown University Professor Robert Lieber) who can read, but not speak, French.

In case you're wondering, academics frequently must learn a reading comprehension of a foreign language to do their research.

[HowietheScreamer]

True, on top of that most French people think that people outside France can't speak French, heck Parisiens think peopl out side PARIS can't speak French...

[S1m0n]

Why, so we do, but it's still funny.

[iratior]

And the idea of a McCain-supporting academic is somewhat oxymoronic. I mean, what is the professor's specialty, flat-earth studies?

[dzent1]

LMAO! Most of the people on this list are "former" whatevers. I suppose the bulk of them are still scratching their heads and mumbling to themselves " wha' happened?".

Godammit I'm sick of the self-righteous bastards presuming to tell us all what to do and how to live. I'd feel safer if we abolished government altogether at this point. Why is it we can't grow some stones and reform politics in this country? Anyone?

[2liveNdie]

Those mostly from states that lean towards the Republicans in the General!

Key word - Prominent

Those that will get taxed under Obama's Presidency!

[frappe]

"Prominent Democrats Back McCain"? Whoever wrote that headline must have a very, very, very low opinion of him- or herself. This is so typical of the type of garbage that emanates from the twisted brains of the Republican Right and the pathetic news organizations who do their bidding.

They create a fictional headline for the shock value and just assume that people are like -- I don't know ...George W. Bush, who don't like to read and have the intellectual curiosity of a single cell amoeba and the brain power of a firefly.

One of the principal functions of the Obama campaign will be to track down this nonsense and confront those responsible in such a way so as to make them think twice about promoting such false nonsense in the future.

[alleykat]

I don't think that we should blame the whole state of AZ for McCain. I mean really McCain isn't from AZ. He just found them at the right time in his life and needed a place to "rule" while his wife stole drugs from charities.. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPORTING HIM? Do they really think that anyone cares? I think I might have gone to school with the "Salazar" guy from Colorado. If I'm not mistaken he voted for "Stinky Seaman" for class president and "Stinky Seaman" was involved in an explosion in the lab that has been under investigation since 1972. So we might want to watch out for that one. His track record on voting "Stinks"!

[OldWhiteDude]

I am shocked that Paul Johnson is supporting McCain. I know they are friends and that McCain helped get some abandoned federal facilities in downtown turned over to Phoenix to make parks but they never agreed on policy.

[Herekitty]

These people publically claim to support McCain...but how many will really vote for him once they are in the privacy of the voting booth?

[Nonamnesiac]

Much ado about nothing. Except for nearly extinct (only a couple left) Australophythaci like Harriet Christian, even Neanderthals (as well as Cro-Magnon) are going to vote against McCain. Those who claim they're voting for him over Obama because of Hillary are actually just lying McCain operatives who would have supported him over Hillary anyway.

[KQuarksSuperKollider]

And a partridge in a pear tree.

The worse part is the MSM still ran with this nothing story on CNN.

[BatedBreath]

Newsmax reporters must travel in some high circles. Or maybe just circles and their vertigo gave them delusions of grandeur.

[LittleBrother]

Actually, I thought one of the mayors would be Ed Koch.