Sarah Palin Might Not Know What a Platform Is

Yesterday Sarah Palin did a phone interview with James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Most of it went pretty well -- lucky, he's a creep who likes children, that's an important sign; lucky, she's an asshole with children, small world, isn't it? -- but there was one ugly gotcha question:

Dobson:

The Republican Platform is the strongest pro-life, pro-family document to come out of a political party, even more so than the platforms during the campaigns of Ronald Reagan. There are principles there that I've been fighting for for thirty, forty years and you are trying to articulate those same principles, aren't you?

Oh jeez.

See, the problem here, for most Republican politicians, is that the platform is horrifying. A catalogue of revenge dreams and power fantasies, impossible and illegal, most of them involving women and scourging. It's the portrait in the attic of what Republican rule would look like, if the zealot half took over and pushed out the half who are just in it for the money.

It's not what you'd call a moderate document. Bob Dole, famously, claimed he never even read it.

That's what makes it a gotcha question, for most candidates. How to get around it. For Sarah Palin, what makes it a gotcha question is that I'm pretty sure she doesn't know that her party has a platform, or what one is.

He might as well be asking her the atomic weight of unbinilium.

So she goes into Palin bluff mode. What words does she have to work with from the question? "Platform." Good. We know that word. It's like a deck. "Pro-life." We heard about that at church. "Reagan." He was sort of like a young John McCain. Got it. Go.

Palin:

Absolutely, and Dr. Dobson thank you so much for recognizing that. This is a strong platform around the planks in this platform that respect life and respect the entrepreneurial spirit of this great country and those things, back to the social issues that are what Republicans, at least in the past, had articulated and tried to stand on.

Pause. Did that do it? Wait for next question. Darn it, he's not saying anything. That's okay, we can do this. Deep breath.

Palin:

Now, finally, we have very solid planks in the platform that will allow us to build an even stronger foundation for our country. It's all good and it's encouraging. You would maybe have assumed that we would have gotten further away from those strong planks. But no, they're there, they're solid, we stand on them and again I believe that it is the right agenda for the country at this time. Very, very clear and contrasted tickets in this election November 4th. People are going to see the clear contrasts, you just go to the planks in our platforms and that's where you see them.

And... done. Teacher, is that clock slow?

But Dobson isn't finished. He has a follow up. This must be what hell feels like.

Dobson:

In your private conversations with Senator McCain, it is your impression that he also strongly supports those views? I know that he did not oppose that platform when it was written. Do you think he will implement it?

I just remembered, I have an early out for band. Gotta go! No? Okay. Could you repeat the question?

What are the new words? "McCain" and "implement." Implement means "do."

Palin:

I do, from the bottom of my heart. I am such a strong believer that McCain believes in those strong planks and we do have good conversations about some of the details of the different planks and what they represent. I'm very heartened that John McCain ... he doesn't want a Vice President who will check the opinions ... of me at the door and we talk about some of these and they're very important. It's most important though, as you're suggesting, that Americans know that John McCain is solidly there on those solid planks in our platform that build the right agenda for America.

Nailed it! Pencils down.

She's such a desperate doofus. I'm glad she has nice clothes.

I think we might actually miss Sarah Palin. But we won't know until she goes away.

Comments

[AProudRepublican]

I find it sad that someone would call Dr. James Dobson a creep. Perhaps you don't agree with all he stands for (I don't either, for that matter), but I do at least believe that he is a good man with good intentions. I don't agree with Obama on many things, but I still like to believe "he" believes in his policies, and I try to believe his intentions are good. I try to respect and be fair to him for that, and I believe James Dobson deserves respect too - he has done a lot to do what he believes is helping people and making the world a better place.

[Navy VET EOD]

"I do at least believe that he is a good man with good intentions...he has done a lot to do what he believes is helping people and making the world a better place"

For the sake of moving me toward understanding Dobson's "good intentions", I would be most grateful if you could cite a few examples of his "helping people and making the world a better place."

Thanks!

[Navy VET EOD]

ProudRepublican: I'm still waiting. Have you any examples to share with us?

[hippietilidie]

Please help me, I don't understand!!!!! I know people who like her and think she is great. How?Where?­Why??????? Ouch, my head hurts... It would be funny if it weren't so damn terrifying!!!

[satsumajin]

Palin for Prez— after 8 years of Dubya the world needs something to laugh at. ;-)

[SueEll]

I'm starting to think there's something seriously wrong with Governor Palin. She should have some personal political beliefs that support her reason for being a Republican. Some of her defenders say she just needs more time to learn the issues, but I don't buy it. Ordinary people who are planning to vote can tell you who they've chosen and why. Most of us know the difference between the Republican platform and the Democrat's. She doesn't seem to have a clue. Weird.

[mommom]

She does have a belief-that she,Sarah Palin ,was chosen by God to be the leader of the free world.Her biggest accomplishment is mirroring what she thinks others want to hear.Sometimes she actually is able to say something that sort of sounds like what someone wants,they latch onto that out of the blizzard of words and hang on for dear life.
I once had a boss who was a district manager for a company that I was a store manager for.When he walked into the store,he could stagger you with bs until he could make you believe the sky was green,then leave and suddenly you would sober up and see that it was still blue.Sometime later it was found that he was robbing us all blind,blathering away until we went along with whatever he said.Sarah Palin has the same ability.

[SueEll]

I've worked for the same type. Lots and lots of buzz words, lots of "corporate speak", and then in the end it all makes no sense at all. They say Condolezza Rice is the same way -- gives lots of "scenarios", lots of critiques, but never takes any action or shows any actual results. They bs their way to the top and usually move on to another company and start all over again.

[payos]

omigod, no wonder the tr0//s here sound the way they do. They all went to the same school Sarah did.
Yikes!

[Lea4388]

Translation, please!!

[Lea4388]

What the hell did she just say? I don't understand a word of what she said!!

[peacegurl48]

OMG! When youu see her words written out it is almost like another language. She is so far beyond clueless that we need a nother word to describe her.

[Soulsurfer]

Is there a wingnut here who could translate that for me, please?

[mlaiuppa]

I guess now we know why it took 5 community colleges and universities in 6 years for her to complete a degree in journalism. Geesh. Thank God she didn't go into teaching.

[Bluedog12]

The hell she doesn't. She knows a platform is a form of shoe.

[Navy VET EOD]

"See, the problem here, for most Republican politicians, is that the platform is horrifying. A catalogue of revenge dreams and power fantasies, impossible and illegal, most of them involving women and scourging. It's the portrait in the attic of what Republican rule would look like, if the zealot half took over and pushed out the half who are just in it for the money.

It's not what you'd call a moderate document."

Here's their brain: http://www.newamericancentury.org/statementofprinciples.htm

Here's their brain on drugs: http://www.nae.net/images/civic_responsibility2.pdf

Any questions?

[olderdem]

There's still time for McCain to admit she is not competent and to kick her off the ticket.

[hmmmmm]

Chris,
I like the metaphoical references to being in school that you made. I teach, and she sounds a lot like a 9th grader asked to give an oral report that they haven't fully prepared.

[newpotusplease]

"Platform-- as in platform heels right, Dr. Dobson?!"