Sarah Palin Might Not Know What a Platform Is
Yesterday Sarah Palin did a phone interview with James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Most of it went pretty well -- lucky, he's a creep who likes children, that's an important sign; lucky, she's an asshole with children, small world, isn't it? -- but there was one ugly gotcha question:
Dobson:
The Republican Platform is the strongest pro-life, pro-family document to come out of a political party, even more so than the platforms during the campaigns of Ronald Reagan. There are principles there that I've been fighting for for thirty, forty years and you are trying to articulate those same principles, aren't you?
Oh jeez.
See, the problem here, for most Republican politicians, is that the platform is horrifying. A catalogue of revenge dreams and power fantasies, impossible and illegal, most of them involving women and scourging. It's the portrait in the attic of what Republican rule would look like, if the zealot half took over and pushed out the half who are just in it for the money.
It's not what you'd call a moderate document. Bob Dole, famously, claimed he never even read it.
That's what makes it a gotcha question, for most candidates. How to get around it. For Sarah Palin, what makes it a gotcha question is that I'm pretty sure she doesn't know that her party has a platform, or what one is.
He might as well be asking her the atomic weight of unbinilium.
So she goes into Palin bluff mode. What words does she have to work with from the question? "Platform." Good. We know that word. It's like a deck. "Pro-life." We heard about that at church. "Reagan." He was sort of like a young John McCain. Got it. Go.
Palin:
Absolutely, and Dr. Dobson thank you so much for recognizing that. This is a strong platform around the planks in this platform that respect life and respect the entrepreneurial spirit of this great country and those things, back to the social issues that are what Republicans, at least in the past, had articulated and tried to stand on.
Pause. Did that do it? Wait for next question. Darn it, he's not saying anything. That's okay, we can do this. Deep breath.
Palin:
Now, finally, we have very solid planks in the platform that will allow us to build an even stronger foundation for our country. It's all good and it's encouraging. You would maybe have assumed that we would have gotten further away from those strong planks. But no, they're there, they're solid, we stand on them and again I believe that it is the right agenda for the country at this time. Very, very clear and contrasted tickets in this election November 4th. People are going to see the clear contrasts, you just go to the planks in our platforms and that's where you see them.
And... done. Teacher, is that clock slow?
But Dobson isn't finished. He has a follow up. This must be what hell feels like.
Dobson:
In your private conversations with Senator McCain, it is your impression that he also strongly supports those views? I know that he did not oppose that platform when it was written. Do you think he will implement it?
I just remembered, I have an early out for band. Gotta go! No? Okay. Could you repeat the question?
What are the new words? "McCain" and "implement." Implement means "do."
Palin:
I do, from the bottom of my heart. I am such a strong believer that McCain believes in those strong planks and we do have good conversations about some of the details of the different planks and what they represent. I'm very heartened that John McCain ... he doesn't want a Vice President who will check the opinions ... of me at the door and we talk about some of these and they're very important. It's most important though, as you're suggesting, that Americans know that John McCain is solidly there on those solid planks in our platform that build the right agenda for America.
Nailed it! Pencils down.
She's such a desperate doofus. I'm glad she has nice clothes.
I think we might actually miss Sarah Palin. But we won't know until she goes away.
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It's not the same without the audio or video, but I can use my imagination. She's lost, it is not even her fault. The only thing I blame her with is not having the courage to say 'I can't do this". Everything she says or does is scripted and rehearsed.
So sad!
keyword : Plank ........sa
Speaking of platforms, Palin's seems about ready to collapse after another hard knock today.
Her 'reformer' credentials of "taking on the old politics as usual in Juneau" just got shredded by a breaking story in today's Los Angeles times.
"Palin appointed friends and donors to key posts in Alaska, records show"
"100-plus jobs went to campaign donors or their relatives, sometimes without apparent regard to qualifications. Several donors got state-subsidized loans for business ventures of dubious public value.100-
And so the maverick rides off into the sunset...
http://www
wait, isn't that how the current administration was staffed? or should I say the 'most recent' administration, as I'm not sure there's anyone still at home in the White House
Oh come on people get a clue - we all now know that for Sarah Palin a platform is one of those $895 - 4" heel - fire engine red - patent leather- Mahnolo Blahnik slingback pumps she brought (with shady money) at "Needless Mark-ups". While hitting the shoe department at Barney's she also brought two pairs of Jimmy Choo platforms in sunny yellow and perky pink - a beauty queen is always matchy matchy from head to toe
What is going through her head that results in this coming out her mouth? Can't McCain just get her to record a bunch of words and phrases so they can play something automated for phone interviews? Or get someone who can fake the accent.
Better than a SNL skit. Made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. She at least seems to know that platforms have planks unlike platform shoes which have heels. Which she be one bubba.
Oh, Gawd!!! Someone, please, put her out of her misery, let's all chip in, buy her a one-way ticket back to 'Laska. This is really, really getting not only more painful to listen to, but I'm starting to feel embarassed for her. I'll wipe that thought from my brain, but Lordy, can Sarah the Pagent Wanna-bee, just PLEEEEEZE shut up!!! Fortunately, Palin Speak has NOT caught on. May be parodied, but not much else. Yet, why do I get the feeling she is stratching her head and asking, why is everyone laughing at the way I speak? Not getting it that it is the content!!!
Tina Fey must be writing all of Palin's dialogue now because that seriously sounded like it was an SNL skit.
I agree. Can't wait until Saturday..
Unreal.
Can you imagine giving those answers aloud in class to any professor? ! The class would be in hysterics, and the professor would (at least at Harvard) admonish or interrupt. Her response is beyond belief.
Any minute I think she's going to stop- look at her audience- and say ,,,"just kidding...
but , No...
THIS IS REAL.
I'm surprised she didn't say the platform was in the plane- with the other one. And since they were comfortable and in her size she got a few pairs while shopping..
"Oh jeez" is right, Chris.
I hope she saves a Plank and walks off it from her Bridge to Nowhere...
Harvard?? That would earn a D- in a Wasiila High civics class
We have the planks that we stand on and they're strong, wooden, solid planks that we can support cause they are solid and wooden, sorta like steel - solid and stuff and if Palin/Mccain are so blessed to serve this great country most middle class American will need these planks.
They will heat their "card-board" houses with planks, eat the planks, live under the planks, use the planks to rob for food, planks, - - - ..and finally - H E R E is Joe - the - Plankman..
Too funny, bhshore!
What the ----did she say? Something about walking the plank. Is Alaska watching and listening? How can they, with a straight face, take her back? How did she get elected? She has no idea where she is or what she is doing.
was that for real? I mean seriously, I couldn't tell if you made that up? It just can't be real. This was a fake interview right? Am I the only one who doesn't get the joke here?
Yeah, what justice4juveniles said!
Are you sure this isn't the script for Tina Fey tomorrow night?
I hope Obama and Biden run with these comments on the stump. Her stating that he is devoted to implementing the Republican Platform will drive away those independents in hords.
Her lukewarm I.Q. is really, really scary. Forget her medical records; I want to see her college transcripts.
OMG I have a splitting headache after
reading her responses. ouch.
It's true. Sarah does not know the meaning of platform.. Hope this goes viral.
Thank you, Chris, for sharing this.
Obama/Biden '08
My headache is so bad after
reading her responses it feels
as though someone hit me
upside the head with a plank.
ouch
All i can say, is I cannot believe that Republicans are seriously considering Electing this idiot to the 2nd highest office in the world. HATE is undoubtedly the strongest Emotion,it will allow you to sellout your Country and your children's future, to keep the other Party or Race out of that Ofiice.
The sad part about this is that she is raising three daughters and if she is home-schooling them then there is just a progression of this same mentality. I really feel sorry for her children and as the saying goes "she is more to be pitied than censored." Truly she may not be capable of forming sentences correctly or Alaska's education system was lacking. But then one would have to compare other Alaskans and their ability to speak correctly. Had she been properly vetted then maybe the Republican party would have realized her drawbacks. I suppose they were blinded by the good looks as are the young men at her rallies if one notices the rapt looks on their faces and not because of what she is saying. SHAME on the republican party. They are resposible for any problems that family will have in the future.
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