The Delicate Subject of John McCain's Marbles

"Evil must be defeated!" -- John McCain 8/16/08

"Enough is enough! We're going to put an end to greed!" -- John McCain 9/17/08

It's inspiring to know that John McCain has a plan to end greed. I just hope it doesn't distract him from his mission to defeat evil. Either way, it has to kick the shit out of whatever Barack Obama's got on the docket, with his empty words and pie-in-the-sky promises.

America's choice is clear. Barack Obama, a messianic egomaniac who thinks he's, like, our savior or something, or John McCain, who will defeat evil and put an end to greed.

John McCain will not only take on special interests and Washington insiders, he'll fundamentally alter human nature. And without raising taxes, either. He'll lead us to a sort of martial nirvana where all other emotions are replaced with patriotism, and turn the United States into a shining, selfless, bipartisan cross between heaven and Sparta.

Or maybe he's just a desperate shell of a man, babbling glorp.

If Reverend Wright went around shouting stuff like "We're going to put an end to greed!" people would start thinking he was some kind of fruitcake.

--

You might think "I'll end greed" would be the most mortifying thing John McCain could say at one sitting. You'd be wrong. At Wednesday's town hall -- his first with Sarah Palin -- he topped himself with this explanation of her credentials:

"She has been commander in chief of the Alaska National Guard. Fact. On September 11 a contingent of the Guard deployed to Iraq and her son happened to be one of them so I think she understands national security challenges."

Which is fine except:

The governor of Alaska doesn't command the National Guard in combat overseas.

Sarah Palin didn't deploy anyone anywhere on September 11th. She was a guest speaker at an Army deployment ceremony.

Track Palin isn't in the National Guard; he's in the Army.

Sometimes it seems like it's more than John McCain can handle, just keeping all the lies about Sarah Palin straight in his head. Tomorrow he'll say she's in the Air Force herself, on a plane she bought on eBay, bombing the bridges at Toko-Ri.

--

It's all Shiites and Sunnis to John McCain. So what's your problem? We're told that Lord Raglan fought the entire Crimean War believing the Russians were the French. And that worked out okay because, uh, everyone under his command died.

--

"I know how to win wars! I know how to win wars!" -- John McCain 7/15/08

I know this is a sort of threadbare exercise -- the old switcheroo -- but imagine what would happen if Barack Obama got the Army and the National Guard mixed up.

Comments

[LSP]

McCain's Marbles. A very important topic indeed.

It is a fact that as you age your brain shrinks and brain cells don't operate as well as they once did. The result is a decline in memory retention and the ability to problem-solve.

McCain may look good for his age, but let's face it - he's an old man. And the more we hear from him the more obvious it appears that he is not as mentally sharp as we would expect someone to be who may have the responsibility of running our nation.

In my opinion, that alone is the biggest reason why John McCain is a bad choice.

[leaningIndy]

If you want to see what an older gentleman with ALL his mental faculties looks and sounds like, look no further than Ron Paul - A FULL YEAR OLDER THAN JOHN MCCAIN. Agree with him or not, have you heard this guy articulate? Let's face it, folks - McCain reached his peak years ago and is now in his descent with Palin ready to take the wheel. Scary.

[JFKadlec]

look at this youtube video.

while the video is trying to repudiate mccains belief that drilling is always safe as he would have his audience believe, it misses the point that mccain himself, is bizarre in his presentation. forget about the latter part of the video, look at mccain. what is the point of his story? why is he the only one laughing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU7MSaN6zUU

this is another presentation of inappropriate behavior which suggests that mccain is losing it. this may be early stage alzheimers.

can we trust this man who is a known hothead, not to push the nuclear war button?

[Tommygun264]

When you look at it logically, it becomes quite clear that anyone below the top 5% who chooses McSame over Obama must be desperately looking for some reason, ANY reason, that gives them a socially acceptable excuse for voting against a black man.

[PhDiva]

Yes. Let's be honest about this.

[Chandidevi]

Let's face it - we're preaching to the choir here.

[RalphW]

How about his confusion about Spain and Zapatero? And his campaign's decision to double-down by claiming he meant it...that he meant to piss off a NATO ally (rather than admit he was confused).

What with Russia now reportedly digging in and building bases inside Georgia, we can guess where the next war will be if Sarah and John are 'in charge'. Our global history with wars that start in the Balkans is not so great.

So we better hope that Spain does not veto us at NATO (or just pull out altogether).

[gop4obama]

Take a look...

http://www.palinbycomparison.net

Thanks

[quintus]

Well done. How many more smart Republicans are there out there who feel the same way?

[sacrebleu]

It may be painfully obvious to us bipedals that McCain is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but he is saying exactly what his base wants to hear; and he does this by using words of no more than two syllables and by dangling a bright, shiny object in the form of Sarah Palin in front of their eyes.

[gabyoung]

In a perfect world average Americans would see the difference between Obama and McCain.McCain will be pumped up and ready for the debates.....with perfect soundbite/talking point answers...The two-edged sword is...when Obama appears Intelligent (which he will) some Americans will feel sorry for McCain.In Bush v Gore debates Gore was perceived as an egghead.....Bush was a 'regular'.....people felt he was more like them...'let's give him a chance.'...look where the world is now!

[dawlishgal]

If people haven't learned anything after almost 8 years of Bush, we are sunk anyhow.

It has always amazed me that after a president chose as two of his two most important associates...the VP and the Sec. of Defense, the former CEOs of the two biggest war-profiteers in this country, people were still surprised to find ourselves lied to about reasons to invade a country that had done nothing to us (and the stocks of these two companies shooting through the ceiling). One would have thought that we would have shown at least a little skepticism when Cheney was hanging out at the Pentagon, but very few eyebrows went up when that was made public. The old gullibility to Republican bullcrap kicked in, and now there are almost 4200 fine young Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians dead for no good reason.

[nomorebombs]

and pelosi refused ...

[sweetwilly]

i'm just curious whether it's mccain or palin who's taking the fiddling lessons...

[sacrebleu]

HAW!!!

[jaslyn]

Sarah Palin is best suited for one of 2 things. The first, as squad mom/mentor to a cheerleading squad of highschoolers. She can sure put on a pep rally. The second, as pitchwoman on QVC, selling handbags, or figurines. She can smile her big giant smile, and pitch her heart's content. But as a veep? Only in a weird parallel upside down world.

[Fudgefase]

We fell through the wormhole while we were asleep....

[MsDoc]

It's an interesting phenomena that nobody here is defending McCain's health...mental or otherwise.

I think that tells the whole story.

[peterfromvienna]

"I know how to win wars! I know how to win wars!"
This may sound blasphemic but which war(s) John McCain is referring to? There is no doubt that he has been a very brave man in Vietnam. But I can' recall that America actually did win this war.
Maybe he was talking about the war in Iraq. If you like to call that a victory than it surely is a very poor victory overrunning a country claiming, falsly, as we know, it's involvement in 9/11.
And the latest battle ground: Wall Street? If the greed and the complete lack of any common sense there is the problem it were the GOP's and John McCain's poiltics of no regulation at all which opened Pandora's box.
I am pretty sure that John McCain knows how to start a war. But talking of winning it?

[tbirdalum]

Pete, who told you that he was a brave man in vietnam? He did, right? Well, my friend, he did'nt get the nickname of songbird from the great beyond. I believe he's a lying traitor to this country for voting against us veterans programs and for not allowing full access to all files on pow/mia's that were left behind in vietnam. He also blocked access to his records as a POW, so that he can tell you how brave he was over there.

O for 08

[jdbk52]

I was aware of his not voting for vet's programs [bad enough]. I did not know he was not allowing full access to all files on pow/mia's that were left behind in vietnam. This makes it all the more disheartening. Shame on him. All these years I considered him a hero type. Not that I was going to vote for him anyway. I just thought his time had passed him by.. It's amazing how much we learn about someone when they run for political office.

[sacrebleu]

Superb post.

[Tommygun264]

Ever since McSame made the proclamation that he knows how to win wars, which was echoed by Mittens Romney declaring "John's been on foreign battlefields and emerged victorious", I have been asking for one single example of John McSame being victorious in battle. All I have gotten in response thus far has been either insults, accusations questioning my patriotism or silence.

[dawlishgal]

How much "bravery" did it take to bomb civilian targets in yet another country that had done nothing to us? If somebody in another country's military had violated our air space and bombed our power plants and residential areas, what would the Republicans be screaming about? You can be certain that they wouldn't call the guy a hero.

[IThinkThereforeNotGOP]

It's becoming obvious that John is smarter than the rest of us. A few weeks ago, he realized that cleaning up the mess will be all but impossible. Hence the palin pick, the lies, the gaffs, etc. Unfortunately, he forgot to tell his followers (or they're just not paying attention, as usual).

[peterfromvienna]

"I know how to win wars! I know how to win wars!"
This may sound blasphemic, but which war(s) Jon McCain is referring to? Obviously there is no doubt that he has been a very brave man in Vietnam. But I can't recall that America actually did win this war. Maybe he is talking about the war in Iraq. But if you like to call that a victory than it is a very sad victory overrunning a country predicting, falsly as we know today, it's involvement of the 9/11 attack. And the most recent battle field: Wall Street? If the greed and the lack of any decent common sense is the problem there it was the GOP and John McCain who opened Pandoras' box.
I am pretty sure that John McCain knows how to start a war. But talking about winning it?

[USAPresidentialPoll]

McCain is morphing into grandpa Simpson before our very eyes.

I wonder how many of the US is noticing all these gaffs. I'm looking forward to the debates.