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What Lindsay's Nipples Are Hiding

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New York Magazine's naked-Lindsay Lohan fashion issue is already the stuff of Internet pageview legend. Online editors such as myself spend late nights and early morning dreaming about that 40-million-eyeball hit that vaults their medium-sized content site, even if momentarily, over the Yahoo! and AOL (and, yes, Huffington Post) bar.

But the former magazine editor, and current New York Magazine subscriber, in me is less enthusiastic by the whitewash the pale cover girl unwittingly foisted on the New York Magazine-buying public.

As you may or may not know, Lindsay was merely one cover of what was a special double fashion issue. The back cover was one of those upside down jobs featuring Andre 3000, promising what looked to be, for all purposes, a men's fashion issue of roughly the same heft and import as the Lindsay-led ladies side.

There was Andre the dandy, three cover lines, and "Special Men's Fashion Issue" emblazoned on the mag's top -- all of the accoutrements of a true DOUBLE ISSUE.

However, when I dutifully flipped my mag 180 degrees and flipped a few pages in for the standard gear guides, suit spreads, and stubbly dudes akimbo and half asleep, I found instead a strange anti-fashion "Sleepover" photo spread featuring teen-age kids of both sexes, and a lame "sneakers + board shorts" 1-2 punch over four pages.

And that was about it. No chiseled chins propped atop untied ties; no silver flecked tri-athletes in high-necked sweaters; no jeans; no jackets; no nuthin.

I have my theory for New York Magazine's semi-false advertising. Judging from the Lohan camp's upset over the topless pics appearing in the mag, instead of just those in which she is tastefully draped, I suspect New York editor Adam Moss was in a situation where time was of the essence. He definitely knew he was sitting on a PR goldmine the second he saw the contact sheet. He also must have known, from doing several LaLohan shoots in the past, that Ms. Linds is a mind-changer. One day: "Sure, snap away. Clothes are for shmos." Next day: "You print those pics, and I will sue your shmo ass."

Hence a push to publish, even though the Men's Half of the issue wasn't even close to completed.

If currently half-completed Men's Fashion spreads end up being sprinkled across the next 4-6 issues, my theory will be proven correct. And, as an otherwise happy New York subscriber (it's easily the best magazine on the stands today), I will be watching every week, Mr. Moss. Oh yes, I will be watching.