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The Most Trusted Names in Untrustworthy Products

Posted: Updated:

 
"Country Eggs, Dutch Farms, Farm Fresh, Mountain Dairy, Sunshine, Hillandale..."

-- partial list of recalled egg brands

Farmer Johnson Consumer Brands, Inc. (A FarmJo Company), a division of Amalgamated Consolidated Worldwide, GmbH.,  announces that, owing to an unfortunate animal-fecal outbreak at its Missouri plant, the following items have been recalled:

Verdant Farms Eggs
Three Oaks Kentucky Style Farm Eggs
Old Hickory Smoked Egg Meat
Farmer Johnson's Chicken Gulag Eggs
Three Mile Farms Micro-Eggs
Crystal Stream Ranch Post-Natural Pork Products
Uncle Jimmy's Beef Leavin's
"USA #1!" All-Animal Hot Dogs
Teat Treat Dairy Products, including Teat Treat Draft Dodger All-Natural Yogurt
Li'l Bribes Frozen Dessert Pops: Chocolate, ChocoBerry, Berry Crush, and Extreme ChocoFruit flavors.
All "Law & Order: Dinner For One" products with the picture of S. Epatha Merkleson on the cover.
Ramrod Ram Rods
Herschel's Jewish Biscuit Mix
Old Mr. Worcester Gin (Washington State and California only:  Old Mr. Worcester Furniture Polish)
Grandpap's Root Beer Flavored Candy Coins
Nasty! jeans, tee shirts and hats
I Love Fish Sticks! Chicken
Mrs. Lee's Korean Liver Cookies
Smart Bananas
Bosun's Mate Fish Fingers 
Healthy Pup Cereal 
Healthy Pup Ultra... for Dogs 
Amalgamated Chinese Sauce
Amalgamated Improved Chinese Sauce
Amalgamated Low Fat Cola Chinese Sauce
Pomegranate Intelligence Water for Brains
Dr. Chism's Long Last Powder
Coastal Elite soups:  Maple Carrot, Poblano, 42 Bean, Tamarind Lily Root, and Air flavors 
Freakbone Body Spray
Stoysich Authentic Soy Pierogis
 
 
Not affected:  Kilibrew's Animal Fecal Spread