Chris Michael
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Chris is a writer, comedian, and cartoonist living in New York. Mild-mannered advertising copywriter by day, Chris is the creator of The Misfit Penguin, has written sketch comedy at The People's Improv Theater, and eagerly anticipates the day when the antics that landed him in the principal's office as a child will pay for a one-bedroom apartment in cash.

Blog Entries by Chris Michael

Congress Renames SOPA, Hopes No One Will Notice

4 Comments | Posted April 6, 2012 | 5:40 PM

WASHINGTON -- In its latest attempt at controlling the internet, Congress has unveiled a fresh, new SOPA-like bill called CISPA, or the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act.

"This one's not at all like SOPA," said Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI), who helped introduce the bill to the House late last...

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Santorum's Fight for Religious Freedom Inspires Others to Restrict Freedom, Too

4 Comments | Posted February 9, 2012 | 2:03 PM

WASHINGTON -- Thrilled to discover American voters still knew his name, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum wasted no time after recent caucus victories to attack Obama's contraception stance as 'trampling' religious freedom.

"I think I speak for many Americans when I say that expanding personal choice is the exact opposite...

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Gingrich: "Second Place in 50 States Is Like Coming in First in 25"

0 Comments | Posted February 1, 2012 | 12:58 PM

TAMPA, FL -- Florida primary silver medalist Newt Gingrich was on cloud nine after yet again failing to show any relevance to the majority of conservative voters.

"Second place in all fifty states is like coming in first in twenty-five," a proud Gingrich told reporters after polls closed. "And twenty-five...

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American Apparel Hoodie Sales Skyrocket as Occupy Wall Street Protests Spread Worldwide

0 Comments | Posted October 18, 2011 | 11:15 AM

NEW YORK -- The Occupy Wall Street movement that began with just a few hundred supporters in Manhattan's Financial District spread to over 80 countries this past weekend, prompting a massive spike in American Apparel-brand hooded sweatshirt sales across the globe.

"Oh, I totally stocked up," said one protester, outside...

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Gay Marriage

0 Comments | Posted July 21, 2011 | 6:32 PM

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Palin Quits By Heart Audio Book After Second Chapter

0 Comments | Posted November 22, 2010 | 5:38 PM

NEW YORK -- The publishing world was stunned today when Sarah Palin walked out of the recording studio in the midst of narrating the audio version of her latest book, America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag, after only the first two chapters.

"Sarah's really super sorry,"...

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Palin Exonerized by New Oxford American Dictionary

0 Comments | Posted November 16, 2010 | 4:55 PM

NEW YORK--Last summer, 2008 Vice Presidential silver medalist Sarah Palin once again exposed her intellectual underbelly to liberal elitists and GED-holders alike when she tweeted for "peaceful Muslims" to "refudiate" the planned mosque near Ground Zero.

A blend of refute and repudiate, Palin's "refudiate" was named Word of the Year...

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Federal Eavesdropping Program to Take Over Arizona Immigration, Nation Relieved

0 Comments | Posted April 28, 2010 | 2:01 PM

WASHINGTON--Arizona's controversial new immigration bill has come under serious fire this past week by requiring state law enforcement officials to stop and possibly detain any individuals whom they suspect of being in the country illegally. Opponents of the new bill call it racist and a blatant violation of privacy and...

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Arizona Immigration Bill Makes History by Ignoring It

0 Comments | Posted April 26, 2010 | 2:47 PM

PHOENIX--Arizona passed the toughest immigration bill in the United States on Friday that many critics say is a slap in the face to over a century of civil rights efforts across the globe, fanned by lingering Birther sentiments against President Obama.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold up. Let's get one thing straight,"...

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Texas Textbooks to Finally Tell U.S. History Right

0 Comments | Posted March 17, 2010 | 1:18 AM

AUSTIN--After nearly two and a half centuries since the American Revolution--roughly a sixth the age of the earth--U.S. history may finally be recorded accurately if the Texas State Board of Education is permitted to proceed with its proposed alterations to the state's textbooks. Dominating 80% of the nation's school-textbook purchasing...

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CBS Ensures Appropriateness for Super Bowl: Rejects Gay Ad, Accepts Christian Right Ad

0 Comments | Posted February 5, 2010 | 3:42 PM

NEW YORK--Super Bowl Sunday, the most anticipated advertising event of the year, could prove to be the most-viewed Super Bowl ever this weekend, expected to surpass 100 million viewers.

But this year, with an ailing economy, traditional big name players like GM and FedEx are staying clear of the almost...

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Newest Birthers Claim Obama Never Even Born at All

0 Comments | Posted February 3, 2010 | 5:30 PM

WASHINGTON -- The terrifying possibility of the first not-completely-White President of the United States during the 2008 primaries last year urgently prompted many Americans to replace their pointy hats with thinking caps. "Birthers," as the fringe conspiracy theorists came to be known, alleged that because then-Senator Barack Obama had the...

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