UniversityChic.com writer Erin Cunningham is an underclassman at George Washington University.
Valentine's Day. Cue the stereotypical image of the poor single girl, indulging on a box of chocolates with tears running down her face as she watches When Harry Met Sally on repeat. As she hears Harry say, "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible," she throws the box of chocolates at the television and contemplates the failures of her romantic life. Well, as familiar as this moment may appear, it seems that today women may not be the only ones worrying when they are going to say "I do."
In fact, whether we choose to believe it or not, men may actually be the ones cuddled in bed at home, counting down the days they have left to find their significant others.
As men are beginning to take more of a female role in relationships, wanting to settle down early, have children and start a life with another human being, it seems that more women are quick to abandon society's stereotype.
A recent Match.com survey, which interviewed 5,200 people ages 21 to over 65 who were neither married, engaged or in a committed relationship, concluded that men were more likely than women to fall in love at first sight, to want to start a family, and to start a relationship with someone of a different religion or ethnicity than their own. So, the myth that men suffer from a severe case of commitment-phobia may be healed by the fact that women are now yearning for self-sufficiency.
According to Time Magazine, "On the whole, fewer men wanted their own bank accounts, their own personal space, their own vacations or their nights out with their buddies than women did."
While in the past it was assumed that men were the moneymakers and women were the homebodies, the characters seem to be switching. Women, now more than ever, are more concerned for their independence, their success in the career realm, and are more fastidious in choosing a partner. The relationship with one's girlfriends (as emphasized by the fabulosity of being single in Sex and the City), and one's self has become the newest romanticism. So while a man may want to "put a ring on it," his girlfriend may rather just go to the Fifth Avenue Cartier and buy the ring herself.
One of the most remarkable single women of our generation, Carrie Bradshaw, once said, "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." While men are now looking for stability and commitment, women are retreating towards self-satisfaction and independence. In my opinion, I'll be counting how many numbers are in my salary, and definitely not how many children I have (which in my mind now, is none). So for me, while a career may not keep me warm at night, I know it can buy me a fancy comforter that will.
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