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Christina Pesoli

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Are You There, God? It's Me, Christina: Why This Catholic Girl Is Praying for a Schism

Posted: 08/30/2012 3:34 pm

"Dear Father in Heaven: If you're up there and you can hear me, show me the way. I'm at the end of my rope. Show me the way, God."

That was George Bailey's prayer as he sat at Martini's Bar in the holiday movie classic, "It's a Wonderful Life."

I can relate.

Like George Bailey all those years ago, this summer I found myself in the middle of a personal crisis of my own. The Catholic Church -- my church -- had lost its mind.

The Vatican ordered a crackdown on the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, the largest organization of nuns in the United States.

Apparently, dedicating their lives to caring for the sick and helping the poor wasn't enough. The Vatican accused them of promoting "radical feminist" ideas and demanded that they crank up the volume on opposing abortion and gay marriage. In short, the Vatican wanted to see less help and more hate.

Then, in a move that seemed to be ripped from the headlines of The Onion, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops took aim at the Girl Scouts of the U.S.A. Among other infractions, the bishops had learned that the Girl Scouts had approved projects that would donate money to Doctors without Borders and OxFam.

And because those organizations have stances that are contrary to the Church's on issues like birth control, the bishops did what they do best: They launched an inquisition into the internal goings-on at the 100-year-old organization whose mission is to build "girls of courage, confidence, and character."

The Church's backwards and outdated policies relating to women in particular and equality in general were nothing new; but its singular focus on these issues coupled with its demand that everyone else do the exact same thing was. So much for free will.

The Church had become paranoid and delusional to the point where everyone and everything was a potential threat -- even little girls selling cookies.

It occurred to me that this must be what it's like to be married to a drug addict. Your life is a living hell, and your husband is out of control. He constantly makes an ass of himself. You try to defend him. You explain away or cover up his bizarre behavior. You remember the person he used to be and the good times you had. You hang in there hoping that things will get better, but they only get worse. Then you wonder, what if he never gets better? And what about the kids?

I am used to disagreeing with the Church on issues revolving around the theme of equality. After all, the last time the Church made any progress in this area was in 1992 when it took the baby step of allowing girls to be altar servers. I have waited (not exactly patiently or quietly -- but I have waited, nonetheless) while the Church treads water, clinging to all the good the Church has done in the area of social justice as my personal life preserver.

But the new bumper crop of high profile Catholics like Paul Ryan and Rick Santorum have punched a hole in my life preserver with policy proposals that completely forsake the poor. And the assaults on the nuns and the Girl Scouts prove that the Church isn't dog paddling anymore; it's doing the backstroke so fast that even Michael Phelps would be impressed.

I was foundering. What I considered the heart and soul of my church was gone, and I didn't like what was left. Could I really raise my daughter in a Church that was so firmly committed to being on the wrong side of so many no-brainer issues?

I didn't know what to do. So, like George Bailey, I prayed. And like George Bailey, God sent me an angel, too. Only mine wasn't named Clarence. Mine was named Melinda Gates.

I learned that through her foundation, Gates had launched a program to provide contraceptives to 120 million of the world's poorest women by the year 2020. And because Gates is both a public figure and a practicing Catholic, she immediately began taking heat for her efforts. Catholics questioned how she could support birth control; and supporters of birth control questioned how she could be Catholic.

Gates answered these questions with unwavering commitment to both. "Part of what I do with the [Gates] Foundation comes from that incredible social justice I had growing up and belief that all lives ... are of equal value."

That's my kind of Catholicism.

When questioned about the conflict between her foundation's work and the Church's position on contraception, Gates answered, "We're not going to agree about everything, but that's OK." How refreshingly reasonable.

Regarding the scathing criticism she's received from some Catholic bloggers, Gates responded that she will not shrink from her role as an advocate for poor women. Gates' brand of strong is definitely the new sexy.

I had found a new personal patron saint of Catholicism. Despite all the chatter and the push-back, Gates continues to put one foot in front of the other. If she is willing to lead the way, the least I can do is follow.

But the big question that remains is this: Where are we all going, anyway?

My sister used to say, "I'm a Kennedy Catholic," when people were surprised to find out that she was both a Democrat and a Catholic. The distinction between Democrats' and Republicans' respective brands of Catholicism has only gotten more pronounced in recent years, with social justice liberals filling the pews on the left side of the Church and conservative crusaders occupying the right. These days it's hard to believe we worship the same God, let alone practice the same religion.

For decades I prayed that the Catholic Church would evolve, but not anymore. Now I'm holding out for a schism, instead. We'll be the Social Justice Catholic Church and they can be the Conservative Catholic Church.

We'll take Melinda Gates, Stephen Colbert, all of the Kennedys, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, John Kerry and, yes (because we have a sense of humor), even Joe Biden. Oh, and for edgy vibe, we'll take Jack White. The Conservative Catholics can have Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Paul Ryan and Justice Antonin Scalia.

In the Social Justice Catholic Church, there will be no more of this nonsense over contraception. Once we've put that non-issue to rest, we'll be freed up to tackle other non-issues, too -- like marriage and gender equality.

In the Social Justice Catholic Church, everyone will be treated equally -- men, women, gay or straight. And everyone will be allowed to marry, even priests. And speaking of priests, no one will be disqualified from being one based on gender or sexual orientation. Priest shortage? What priest shortage?

So, what makes the Social Justice Catholic Church different from any other inclusive and reasonable church, like the Unitarian Church, for example? Two thousand years' worth of rituals and a treasure trove of accessories, that's what. We're keeping all of the cool incense burners, water-sprinkler thingies, holy days, saints and sacraments. Oh, and the wine. We're definitely keeping the wine.

Now let's talk facilities. I've been to the Vatican, and it's huge. We can divide that thing straight down the middle and still have plenty of room for both groups. The Conservative Catholics can have Pope Benedict, but I call dibs on John Paul II's crypt. I know JP Deuce made some mistakes (papal infallibility notwithstanding), but I liked him. I guess you could say he had me at (Polish trade union) solidarity.

And as long as we're dividing things up, I guess we're going to need separate quarters in heaven, too. Clarence Thomas doesn't say much and that makes him easy enough to tune out, but there's no way I'm spending eternity listening to Sean Hannity.

I may not live to see the day when everyone is treated with basic human dignity and enjoys access to modern medicine here on earth. But after the schism, at least I can take comfort knowing that's what awaits me in Social Justice Catholic heaven.

And with marriage equality and contraception flowing freely, I'm betting Jesus, his 12 "go-to" guys and his home girl Mary Magdalene will all be there, too. With that guest list, you know the dinner parties in Social Justice Catholic Heaven will be as fabulous as they are endless -- with bottomless glasses of wine and a place at the table for everyone.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MRSM117
Unofficial defender of the Catholic faith
10:30 AM on 09/26/2012
Christina, the Catholic Church cannot evolve in the area of faith and morals because those were given to us by God! A couple of things, the LCWR were praised for their work with the poor but the fact remains is that they have strayed from doctrinal issues and that is not acceptable. They needed to be corrected. The Girl Scouts have in some cases aligned themselves with Planned Parenthood. It is not "merely" as issue of contraception; it is aligning oneself with abortion! The very thing that Melinda Gates is being praised for can actually be a contributing factor to spontaneous abortion because contraceptives can result in an already fertilized egg to not implant and be expelled. Catholics believe that life begins at conception and that all human life is precious. We won't get to heaven, any of us, if have resentment or feel we can't share "space" with someone we don't see eye-to-eye. That is not what heaven is. It's a place of love and peace and there's simply no room for derision. God gave us free will and with that comes the responsibility to choose. We can either choose to do things God's way or our own way and those choices have very serious consequences. God does not force us to spend eternity with Him but He constantly invites us to an honest relationship with Him. It's a relationship of a loving Father with His children. It's our choice.
02:40 PM on 09/13/2012
This post by Cardinal Dolan says a lot about this topic. http://blog.archny.org/index.php/keep-up-with-the-timeless/
04:46 PM on 09/12/2012
I also find it funny that someone seeking tolerance and equality apparently imagines a SEPARATE heaven!!?? Where's the social justice value in that? Oh, the hypocrisy of liberalism....
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sailka
honesty, morality, societal concern always
08:01 PM on 09/14/2012
No one has ever taught 'seperate heavens' to my knowldge; nor that liberalism is hyprocritical; the Right Wing is living hypocrisy: Enrich the richest few, by reducing people programs like education and food.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Christine Gallo
America, best democracy corporations can buy
12:15 PM on 09/12/2012
Christina, thank you for your hopeful, light hearted and even respectful blog. Despite the many detractors here, I believe you can weed through the usual die hard, right wing, negative and angry folks to find those of us who understand and support your frustrations and wishes for change. The fact that the Church has been losing members for the last 30 years, but especially since the incidences of child abuse surfaced, makes the validity of your position obvious.

How ignorant the Church hierarchy has appeared when it has come to this country and instructed bishops to flush out any gays from its training programs to solve the problems of pedophilia. Preaching no birth control in countries where starvation and infant mortality are the leading causes of death make the Church look deliberately obtuse and criminal.

So many issues dealth with by the Church are considered "infalible" but have nothing to do with Christ's teachings. History reveals the Church to be very fallible, whether the pope spoke from a certain chair, or not. The Church has historically repressed questioning any of its rules or teachings, and has NEVER allowed women to contest, question, assert authority over, lead, decide or even earn without its supervision and control.

It is refreshing and courageous to see women, such as yourself and the Women Religious that you referred to, stand up for social justice. I remember the activists of the John XXlll era, the Berrigan brothers and Molly Yard, we need more of that today.
09:08 PM on 09/11/2012
Spare me any more idicocy. The Catholic Church is not the Christia Pesoli Fan Club. It doesn't dance to your tune. If you don't believe what it teaches, leave it. Don't worry about a schism just get out and found your own religion. Call it the Open Gates Church or something and at the entrance hang a sign saying "beyond lies the highway to hell."
10:52 PM on 09/10/2012
Wow I never knew the United States was a country that forced people to be Catholic. I thought we lived in a country where Catholics could be Cathoics, Protestants could be Protestants, and whiny self-indulgent prima donnas could be, well, ya know.
08:57 PM on 09/09/2012
I think it is funny you think Pope John Paul II would be in your "social justice Catholic church." Pope John Paul II was a huge opponent of artificial contraception and women ordination.... He wrote Theology of the Body in defense in the beauty and truth of Church teaching on Human sexuality. As a former liberal female Catholic turned traditional Catholic my life is so much better and more fulfilling as a woman who sees her true dignity in Christ and accepts what the church teaches. You have been formed by a biased secular media, and your article shows you have not read church documents. I hope you see the light someday...
10:42 PM on 09/10/2012
"I think it is funny you think Pope John Paul II would be in your "social justice Catholic church.""

You are putting too much thought into this. More than Ms. Pesoli, certainly.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Christine Gallo
America, best democracy corporations can buy
10:30 AM on 09/12/2012
She must be young; doesn't remember or know much about John XXlll.
06:24 PM on 09/09/2012
"In the Social Justice Catholic Church, everyone will be treated equally -- men, women, gay or straight."

=================================================

And also unborn children, who are the most vulnerable members of society?
06:22 PM on 09/09/2012
Must-read article: "Hey Melinda Gates, Poor Need Food Not Contraception":

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/07/09/hey-melinda-gates-poor-need-food-not-contraception/
06:21 PM on 09/09/2012
"...demanded that they crank up the volume on opposing abortion and gay marriage..."

==============================================

This statement is absolutely FALSE!

First, the Vatican was addressing the leadership of the LCWR, not the nuns as a whole.

Second, the Vatican praised the work of the nuns with the poor.

Third, the Vatican did NOT take demand that the LCWR "crank up the volume on opposing abortion and gay marriage," but RATHER noted, that when the LCWR did address those issues, they often did so in a way that undermined or contradicted Church teaching.

If you are going to take on the Church, at least be fair about it and get your facts straight.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
orixaguy
James Sandoval, Bridge
12:19 PM on 09/10/2012
You are absolutely right. It was the AMERICAN CONFERENCE OF BISHOPS who "demanded they crank up the volume on opposing abortion and gay marriage."
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sailka
honesty, morality, societal concern always
08:16 PM on 09/14/2012
There is no such organization, except Lutheran, and neither Said any such thing.
04:30 PM on 09/09/2012
All the things that seem compelling and comforting to you are to be found in the Episcopal Church (I swam the Thames years ago out of the same frustrations): "everyone will be treated equally -- men, women, gay or straight. And everyone will be allowed to marry, even priests. And speaking of priests, no one will be disqualified from being one based on gender or sexual orientation," "Two thousand years' worth of rituals and a treasure trove of accessories,... cool incense burners, water-sprinkler thingies, holy days, saints and sacraments. Oh, and the wine. We're definitely keeping the wine." Come on down.
The Episcopal Church Welcomes You.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Christine Gallo
America, best democracy corporations can buy
10:36 AM on 09/12/2012
Perhaps you meant "come on "over"?

Well said, Brimcmike, and absolutely correct! It is good to remind the CC that there are alternatives already available for anyone wanting to participate in organized religion very similar to what they have been offering.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sailka
honesty, morality, societal concern always
08:20 PM on 09/14/2012
If you think "Church" is for fun, anybody 'marry' anybody, replace Christ's Teachings and Tradition with new ideas of men.
02:29 AM on 09/09/2012
Thank you. You're my kind of Catholic.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
50crowley
05:03 PM on 09/08/2012
This article, though obviously and intentionally facetious, demonstrates the lack of understanding of most mainstream Catholics regarding their own faith.

"We're keeping all of the cool incense burners, water-sprinkler thingies... Oh, and the wine. We're definitely keeping the wine."
If by "incense burners" and "water sprinkler thingies", you mean the "thurible" and "aspergillum", and if by "wine" you mean "Blood of Christ", then OK. I'm not familiar with the use of a "water sprinkler thingie in a Catholic Mass.

"I know JP Deuce made some mistakes (papal infallibility notwithstanding)..."
Contrary to common conception, papal infallibility only applies to doctrinal matters. Simply becoming the pope does not make him a perfect human being.

Aside from simple definitions, all of the issues that have been described as morally deplorable have a ton of evidence backing the church's stance. They are not, by any stretch of the imagination, "no-brainers". If only people would educate themselves...
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
02:17 PM on 09/07/2012
As a recent convert to the Catholic Church and lifelong "liberal", I can't imagine anything more radically feminist than the Church's teaching on contraception. I used to think it was outdated too and bristled at the idea of a bunch of celibate old men making decisions about my body. But then I read Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body and it changed my entire world. As the mother of two daughters, how could I raise them anywhere *but* in a Church that teaches that their body and personhood is sacred and shouldn't be reduced just to pleasure?? What is at all socially just about the idea that the only way to end poverty is to stop poor people from procreating?? Pushing abortion and contraception on developing countries is a war on the poor. There is no love for our brothers and sisters in that mindset. I get that at first glance the teaching seems out of touch--I truly do. But if you take the time to understand it, I think you would find it revolutionary.
11:21 AM on 09/09/2012
"Pushing abortion and contraception on developing countries is a war on the poor." No, denying them birth control, when 98% of Catholic women have used it, is both hypocritical and condescending.
Putting some, "I couldn't tell my parents" ex-believer in abortion, up at the pulpit, (now that she's had the abortion) during "Right to Life Sunday," instead of a woman who chose to raise a child out of wedlock (or gave them up for adoption), now that's really hypocritical. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
05:29 PM on 09/09/2012
Pushing abortion and contraception on developing nations is different from 98% of Catholic women engaging in heretical practices. Using their lack of faithfulness as a reason to extend the contraceptive mindset to developing countries is comparing apples to oranges. BOTH are wrong and against Church teaching. Those women who believe themselves to be practicing Catholics while they pop their morning pill need as much help discovering Christ's Truth as the poor in other countries who need help without eliminating their future populations! Hypocrisy abounds everywhere, but let's keep the issue straight. The Church is correct in Her teaching TRUE radical feminism - embracing our true feminine nature, bringing forth the future in the form of children, exemplifying strength and grace (as much as possible) whether we stay at home or try to have a career! Only with Her guidance do we escape the objectification of our bodies, but rather we can enjoy our sexuality as God intended it, strengthening our marriages while respecting our sexuality and its procreative capacity.

Lest you think I speak without experience: I struggled as a single mom until I met my husband, juggled life as a working mom until I decided to dedicate myself to just ONE pursuit: being a good mom. I'm not criticizing women who work, it just wasn't something I balanced well. We have 8 children - MY idea, and we are thrilled with each of them! I have sons and daughters who are each taught about the amazing strengths of BOTH
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sailka
honesty, morality, societal concern always
08:28 PM on 09/14/2012
It is not "98%" of women, or even 90%; The key Poll question was "Have You Ever..." Let's try Not to misrepresent Catholic Women, current or former.
01:57 PM on 09/07/2012
It really isn't all that complex. Every Sunday, at Mass, we profess our belief in the One, Holy, and Apostolic Catholic Church. I presume that you go to Mass and profess this as well, but I may be mistaken. Well what do we mean when we profess this faith, that we believe whatever suits us? That we believe that which is currently popular to believe? NO. We are professing to believe God's truth revealed to us by the Holy Spirit, through the Holy Catholic Church, as taught by the Magisterium, the teaching authority of the Catholic Church. So, you don't like what the Holy Spirit has revealed? You want to change it, is that it? Well lady, I got some news for you. It hasn't worked like that for 2,000 years, so I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.

The best thing for you to do is to just be honest and acknowledge that you are not a Catholic, but a protestant. Do you even know where the term protestant comes from? You see this schism thing you are talking about isn't anything new to the Catholic Church. Do the names King Henry VIII or Martin Luther sound familiar? Please, do as the Pope asks (http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/pope-suggests-its-best-to-be-honest-and-leave-the-church-if-you-dont-believ/), just be honest, stop pretending that you are a Catholic, and leave the Church.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
orixaguy
James Sandoval, Bridge
12:29 PM on 09/10/2012
You are aware that protestant ministers constructed the "novus ordo" mass, right? There's something in the news lately...It's about PRIESTS TOUCHING CHILDREN. Who should be honest and stop pretending they are Catholics and leave the church? And if it is they who are teaching the rest of you, you never had a fighting chance at being a catholic. And by the way-why do you go to Mass on Sunday? Friday sunset to saturday sunset is the "sabbath day." And if THAT can be changed, you haven't a leg on which to stand.
01:25 PM on 09/10/2012
I try to keep things simple and not get all caught up in the news of the day or any of the passing events of our times. The leg I stand on is the Magisterium, the teaching authority of the Catholic Church, the Church I profess to believe in every Sunday, because I'm a Catholic. I don't profess to believe in what protestants or any other religion believes. Nor do I expect protestants or members of any other religion to profess belief in the Catholic Church. However, I do take issue with protestants trying to make the One, Holy and Apostolic Catholic Church just another protestant denomination.
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sailka
honesty, morality, societal concern always
08:44 PM on 09/14/2012
Sorry to inform you, but you are "All Wrong": (1) The Novus Ordo Mass was created upon the detailed study of Earliest Masses, and includes some of the earliest Prayers by the Priest; was Created to local languages Also, by the Vatican, including The Magesterium. (2) The Pedophile problem WAS in the news a decade ago, and only about 3-5% of Priests ever pedophiled even Once; And The Church placed tighter standards to PREVENT, and encourage Reporting, than our top Law Enforcement organizations for years. Priests touching a child was a Media hype job, as once described by our current Pope. Verified sexually abberant Priest, or Seminarian are removed from Duty forever. (3) The earliest Christians changed the Holy Day to Sunday, because that was the day The Lord Arose from the dead, again verified First Century. All Documented.