"We are sorry to announce that Hostess Brands, Inc. has been forced by a Bakers Union strike to shut down all operations and sell all company assets."
That's the message on Hostess Brands, Inc.'s website. Much like the company's products, this statement doesn't pass the smell test. The fact is Hostess Brand "foods" like Twinkies and Wonder Bread neither taste good nor are good for you. So, the real question isn't why the company is going out of business after 82 years, it's how it managed to stay in business as long as it did when its entire product line was complete garbage.
The bakers union members didn't create a brand identity synonymous with health problems and no taste. The bakers union members weren't tasked with deciding what trashy snack foods would comprise the product line up. The bakers union members didn't come up with the "recipes" used to "bake" these items. The bakers union members didn't decide to use only the crappiest and cheapest ingredients available. These were all management-level decisions. And these are the reasons why I would never buy or eat a Hostess product myself, nor feed one to anyone else.
And here's the icing on the cake: The bakers union members didn't decide to give themselves pay increases of up to eighty percent last year while the company was struggling. But nearly a dozen of Hostess executives did.
Initially, the news about Hostess's bankruptcy struck me as bitter sweet. I was genuinely sorry that workers lost their jobs, but I took comfort in knowing that at least the world would be a healthier place as a result of these snack food products no longer being in it.
I should have known better.
While Hostess Brands, Inc. may be going out of business, products like Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Ho Hos will most likely live on. Just as an actual preservative-laden Twinkie will outlive us all, the rights to many Hostess products will be sold to another company, thereby causing these products to have a half-life that far exceeds the natural life span of their original parent company.
So, if you were one of the folks making a run on Hostess products in stores across the country so you could either stockpile them for future use in attempting to trigger a diabetic coma or sell them on e-Bay for bloated prices, you may as well turn around and lumber straight back to your La-Z-Boy. Hostess Brand, Inc. may be going away, but crappy snack foods will always be as close as your nearest convenience store.