THE BLOG

Why You're Every Bit as Awesome as Chocolate Chip Cookies!

02/07/2014 03:56 pm ET | Updated Apr 09, 2014
  • Christina Pesoli Family Law Attorney (Noelke Maples St. Leger Bryant, LLP); Author (Break Free From the Divortex: Power Through Your Divorce and Launch Your New Life)

If you're like a lot of women, you feel like a failure over your divorce. And if you're like a lot of women, you like chocolate chip cookies. As fate would have it, the cure for feeling like a failure is chocolate chip cookies! And no, I'm not suggesting you turn to cookies as a way of self-medicating. That would be crazy. When it comes to post-divorce self-medicating, Haagen Dazs and chardonnay are divorced women's drugs of choice. Everyone knows that. What I mean is if you like chocolate chip cookies (and who doesn't?) then logic precludes you from considering yourself a failure over your divorce.

Confused? Let's run through the logic.

When you walked down the aisle you had every intention of being married forever. It didn't turn out that way, and you ended up getting a divorce. And it is the fact that things didn't go according to plan that makes you think that you failed. But that's as crazy as thinking that chocolate chip cookies are a big fat mistake.

Stay with me here. This is all going to make sense soon, I promise.

Back in 1930, Ruth Graves Wakefield set out to make Butter Drop Do cookies. But once she was already into the project, she discovered that she was missing baker's chocolate, a key ingredient. Wakefield had some Nestle's semi-sweet chocolate on hand, so she improvised and broke off pieces of that and added it to the dough. The bits of Nestle's chocolate stayed in small, softened pieces rather than fully melting in the oven the way the baker's chocolate would have. Wakefield served the cookies up anyway, and they turned out to be as popular as they were delicious. In other words, chocolate chip cookies were born out of Wakefield's "mistake."

There's no denying that those cookies did not turn out the way Wakefield had intended, but I don't know of anyone who considers Wakefield to be a failure because she ended up with a batch of chocolate chip cookies that day. And if things had gone according to plan, Wakefield would have faded into oblivion along with the Butter Drop Do cookies. (Ever had one of those? Yeah. Me, neither.)

Need another example? How about Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I mean, anyone can see that Italian guy didn't intend to fall down those stairs while eating his chocolate bar, but the world is a better place because he did. The truth is, fantastic things often come from misfires. It's not wrong to make plans, but when events deviate from whatever you expected -- that's not failure, that's opportunity.

So, quit thinking of yourself as a failure. Your marriage turned out differently than you planned, but you're one tough cookie. To bastardize a line from P!nk's song "Just Give Me a Reason," you're not broken, just chipped -- as in chocolate chipped. Now go figure out what great thing is going to come from your unexpected turn of events.