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Christina Pirello

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Has the Internet Made it Too Easy to be Mean?

Posted: 08/03/11 07:37 PM ET

A daily read of any website, including this one, reveals an ugly side of America. No matter what the topic, be it politics, celebrity gossip, healthy living or food, a quick review of the comments posted by readers is a sad commentary on who some of us have become, and how the Internet has made it so much easier to say mean, harsh and inappropriate things without consequence.

What is up with us?

It should give us pause that we are capable of such ugliness and even more pause that we will make ugly comments in an anonymous setting about people we do not know. It seems that with our location and true identity concealed behind an avatar or screen name, we take full license to unleash venom on the president, Congress, chefs, J.Lo, the Kardashians and not to mention the authors, reporters and bloggers themselves who are targeted by this vitriol for writing a story or stating their opinion.

Human nature is interesting. On one hand, we loudly condemn people like Sarah Palin for placing cross hairs on districts where the representative is "targeted" to be defeated in an election. (I am not defending her by any means -- Ms. Palin personally offends me politically, intellectually and as a woman.) We condemn and ridicule Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter for the hatred that spews from their biased views. On the other hand, a commenter feels completely justified in calling Jennifer Lopez a "momma ho" because she is getting divorced and made a silly comment about loving herself to a magazine. It's fine to snipe about how short Tom Cruise is and don't forget, a Scientologist, which somehow makes him stupid, crazy, untalented and unworthy of his fame and a bad father.

What does this say about the readers who post these awful comments about people they do not know? None of us can understand Jennifer Lopez's married life (unless we know her). None of us can know what goes on behind the closed doors in Washington that result in some of the decisions we must live with (God help us).

Are we so base a species that, given circumstances that will prevent us from "getting caught," we will post such awful sentiments, feeling free to let loose all of our prejudices, jealousies, frustrations and disappointments on those of us who happen to be famous in one way or another? Or lead what we perceive as a better life?

Are our lives so small that this is who we become in our darkened dens, computer screens glowing, as we read about people we perceive to be more glamorous, with more privilege or power, more opportunity, that we must make ourselves feel better about ourselves by posting insipid, mean and small-minded comments on a website?

In the extreme, this kind of baseness has resulted in cyber bullying and child and teen suicide. But the thinking begins with these mean-spirited postings. The public posting of vitriolic hatred and pettiness plants the seeds that make it okay to cyber bully.

Maybe I am naïve, but I think we live in a time when there is no place for this kind of behavior. We have big problems to contend with, and we need high-minded, intelligent ideas to solve them. We live in a time when we are all struggling -- to make ends meet, find gainful employment and keep our sanity in the climate of political insanity in which we live. Rather than waste time on whether or not Tom Cruise is crazy or our president a Christian, would we not be better served as humans if we took the higher road and used our creative energies to lift each other up rather than tear each other apart? The Internet is a useful and meaningful tool and would be better served for spreading information and postings on sites to highlight the best in humanity, not bringing each other down in anonymity.

I love that here at The Huffington Post, they are celebrating their 1 millionth comment. Wouldn't it be cool if the next million did not include any venom?

Okay, bring it on -- let the comments begin.

 
 
 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Querent
I just had to say that.
03:46 PM on 08/07/2011
Politics has always been a subject which elicits negative feelings and negative perceptions. Same with religion. That's why it used to be accepted wisdom that you don't discuss politics or religion with friends. There are certain schools of thought which hold that the best way to undermine opinions, ideas, or even facts divergent from one's own ideas is to attribute negative consequences to them.

People produce a lot of nasty behavior. We all have the impulse from time to time to criticize such behavior, and if the behavior is nasty enough, to criticize the people producing it. Some people can't tell the difference between criticism of their arguments or their thought processes, and criticism of their basic humanity. Is it mean to point out that someone's argument for a public policy is unsound, ill-founded, or dishonest? Some people think it is. Is denial of a fallacious argument's validity nasty?

I think that people who believe they are "hurt" or "injured" in an argument with someone they have never seen are overvaluing their momentary emotional responses to someone else's words. In any argument, there are likely to be participants whose main goal is to "win" the argument, instead of determining the reality of the situation. They may resort to personal insults. Sometimes those insults are made on the basis of inferences made about another person with no basis whatever. When people's personal interests are in conflict, the conflict is likely going to have some personal overtones. That's life.
02:59 AM on 08/07/2011
Yes, Trolls are a vile force of the Internet. Trolls: People who, usually through anonymous profiles, make posts on the internet just to outrage or inflame others.

The good news is that you can always start your own website where you can censor people who issue unwarranted hostility. A lot of my favorite forums have been co-opted by trolls, however. It's disheartening to make a comment about an author or artist I admire, only to be responded to with personal insults by someone who loves the same things I do.

But the Internet is also a medium where people can get news from outside the monopoly of the Big Six. With so many people in America stuck inside a distorted reality, not even aware how much they're really being manipulated, that's an important thing to protect. The pettiness we see reflected there is only projected by the toxic thoughts lurking inside them. These characteristics, this hostility has always been there. This country is full of people who are selfish, bigoted and cruel. And we need to acknowledge just deep those anti-virtues run in our culture. We also need to get people educated how our media monopoly is fueling the fires for this kind of ignorant anger.

Only until we quit deceiving ourselves about what we're becoming can we objectively decide how to deal with it.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Grada3784
God is a Parent, not an abuser.
11:00 PM on 08/06/2011
Just showing the real us and how phony we really are in inter-personal relationships.
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mrpotatohead
auto micro-bio: OFF
06:46 PM on 08/06/2011
It's far worse than providing anonymity that makes it easy to be mean. It provides a place where mean behavior and mean beliefs are supported and reinforced.

It provides an environment to use our voices without any regard as to whether we have anything worth saying.
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Brent Rossen
Is our children learning?
08:42 AM on 08/05/2011
The internet is a good place for people to engage others who have opposite views without the danger of an escalation. There is a lot of partisan clashing on this site, and a lot of venom, but at least we are talking with the actual people on the other side of the divide instead of just reading about them in the news. I have found that people who spew names and insults generally receive less attention from both sides and people who are respectful and make decent arguments become proponents of productive conversation. If we can convince belligerent people that their tactics are counterproductive, maybe we can encourage them to adopt civility in the name of relevancy.
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Redhunteur
If I damn yer POV will u turn the other cheek?
02:23 AM on 08/05/2011
People are people and there are always going to be plenty of jerks who are going to cause problems for the rest of us. Where once a kid could get his kicks keying cars or egging houses, now there are cameras on streetcorners and in everyone’s phones so it’s much harder to do the physical things. When I was growing up people would punch you or jump you after school when they were angry but today they are more likely to hack into someone’s phone and post pics they took of themselves in their underwear to publically humiliate them. A different time and different tactics have followed I suppose.

SSDD: Same Stupid, Different Decade

Trolls used to anger me but now I’ve gotten pretty good at identifying them and immediately passing over their trolly comments. Dumping all over some website or poster is the new equivalent of pulling a fire alarm at a dance or setting a flaming bag of dog-doo on someone’s front steps and I find them sad more than anything. I mean, the internet is so full of avenues of learning and enjoyment, I don’t understand why they would spend so much time hoping only to irritate and spoil.

Also, I think people are far too sensitive about criticism many times and some take such swipes from anonymous jerks far too seriously. Most meanness one encounters online is from people just trying to get under their skin. Don’t let them. Answering trolls gives them credence.
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Mister Grumpy
An Angry American
01:35 AM on 08/05/2011
One person being mean is another persons being honest.............. it all depends upon your perspective..........
10:17 PM on 08/04/2011
Truth to tell, the Internet has made it harder for people to be mean.

What it has really done is made it possible to spread mean farther and faster, to more people, and leave the mean lingering.

Used to be the most common way to be mean was verbally, and face-to-face, or acquaintance to acquaintance. The next step was directly physical, the push and shove, the pinch or pull, the disheveling and then tearing of clothes. At distance the spit-ball or shot rubber-band, thrown object, splashed mud. If one wanted to write something mean, one used a pencil, or pen. The nearest to the internet was writing a victim's number on a bathroom wall.

Today, with the internet to be mean requires learning to type. At least to a degree. To write nasty phrases. Almost always more purpose directed and less crude than in the old days. It requires searching for victims' "web-presences" and learning techniques to sabotage those.

But the effects go a lot farther, and with google, and other search, caching, they can stay around a lot longer. And the moment of the viciousness can be searched for and found, and re-lived again and again, by victim, victimizer and stranger.

I don't see more viciousness, or meanness, only more repetition through publication. It is like everyone has a printing press and can each make his or her own nasty drawing or suggestion
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
viper1ex19
IF IT’S FUN…….IT’S PROBABLY ILLEGAL….
06:42 PM on 08/04/2011
You're absolutely right. It has created an avenue for people to express their opinions without retribution. That’s exactly what people so desperately need; a means to vent their frustration. One way to look at it is; at least they're doing it online instead of out in the streets. (Sticks & Stones)
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Mister Grumpy
An Angry American
01:37 AM on 08/05/2011
Would they prefer people to vent their fustration through the use of words, or at the end of a firearm?...............
06:35 PM on 08/04/2011
I am personally guilty of a few snipes at authors or other commentors, but I usually try to keep it to what they wrote, not what I assume they were thinking when they wrote whatever it was. Honestly, I think the issue is not that there are more mean people in the world, rather I think there are fewer people with the emotional and mental stamina to stand the onslaught of negativity that will inevitably greet their opinions. The haters are especially nasty because they have grown used to being defensive, and those who wail against the vitriol simply fail to face the reality that the world was never meant to be full of sunshine, rainbows, agreement and harmony. It's a nice idea, and would be wonderful, but we're human. To loosely quote a great movie "Life is pain....anyone who says otherwise is selling something." People can mean, uncaring, judgemental, and rude. That's life.
06:33 PM on 08/04/2011
Oh, if only it were that easy. The thing of it is, some news stories and articles deserve a bit of healthy venting -- particularly the ones regarding the powers that be who continue to hoard their money and power to themselves at our expense.

However, in theory, I agree that I find it a bit odd that people read an article, say, about the Kardashians, and feel the need to comment, "Who cares?" "Why is this news?" or other, much nastier thoughts. If you don't care, then why'd you open up the article to begin with?

My grandma always said if you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Well, that simply doesn't apply in today's world. But after all, who am I to judge, right?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
honky1234
Choose wisely
06:26 PM on 08/04/2011
There's a name for it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gr8bsn
An equal opportunity offender since 1978
05:48 PM on 08/04/2011
Anonymity allows for vitriol, but at the same time, it allows a place to vent without repercussion. We have to hold it in all day long in every social situation. Think about it, it's nice to dump out that baggage and frustration in life from time to time. If you can't handle hearing something you don't like from an avatar & username, then go somewhere else.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ralph Perman
Unapologetic Progressive Liberal
05:17 PM on 08/04/2011
Totally agree! That's why what you see (on the left) is Me!!
05:07 PM on 08/04/2011
Dear Christina,
I can not comment on the ugliness concerning posts of celeberty status, but I can tell you that , on a political level, this country has been polarized into 2 camps. The people are not divided by a differance of opinion, but a difference of Principal! You have not yet seen ugly! It is one thing to attempt to promote political agenda online, but if the very same liberals where to physically, in person, pick my pocket, steal from my house, take fruit off of my trees or produce from my garden, I would use lead to let the air out of them or turn their heads into canoes, and the problem would be solved! Theft, in any form, is immoral, unethical, and wrong!! Even if it is done through the taxation implemented through majoritive tyrrany! the ugliness that you see is a warning to which you should pay heed!