Graduation Blues

Dear Christine,

I've just graduated from graduate school, but instead of feeling excited, I'm feeling really sad. I went directly to grad school after undergrad and I love the experience of being in school - I had friends around me all the time, I always knew what was expected of me, and I had few responsibilities that I couldn't manage. Now that it is coming to an end, I don't want it to end! I've worked so hard to get to this point, but now that I'm here, I just want to go back. How do I move forward?

~Longing for the Simple Life, Austin, 24

Dear Longing for the Simple Life,

It's time to come down from the ivory tower. Life as a student is like living in a bubble and many students are feeling the anticipation of the bubble bursting around this time of year - it's normal. Transitioning into the real world can be a confusing and frustrating experience, but there's no avoiding it - unless of course you decide to delay it further by going for your doctorate! Try not to obsess about the "glory days" and focus on the present moment. You are a certifiable grown-up now. And here's the good news - no more finals or pulling all nighters to finish a paper!

Your first step into the real world should be to get a job or embrace the job you have already lined up. There you will most likely be around like-minded people and will have ample opportunity to meet friends at work. Making connections outside of work will involve a little more effort on your part since friends aren't delivered like they were in college. Open yourself up to new experiences. Take that cooking class you always wanted to, join a hiking group, start becoming a regular at a favorite coffee shop - and keep in touch with your buddies from college and grad school. Just because you've all graduated doesn't mean the friendships end.

In terms of not knowing what's expected of you - you are now in charge. Focus on the expectations you have for yourself, not leftovers from parental advice or comparisons with friends. Start figuring out who you are and what you really want to do. Short term goals can be extremely gratifying. Think of one or two things you can achieve or change and can accomplish quickly. Once achieved, you will feel like you've made progress and won't feel so stagnant. Listen to the expert advice of Chris Schonberger, Editor-in-Chief for Gradspot.com and co-author of The Gradspot.com Guide to Life After College. "The challenge of finding opportunities and applying (or adapting) your skills outside the predictable structures of academia brings with it a new sense of accomplishment that is rare in school, where expectations and results are pretty well set in stone. Embrace your new independence and have fun."

A part of living in this world is having responsibilities: big and small. Why do you think you won't be able to manage these new responsibilities? You didn't take out all those student loans to rack up insecurity! Have a little more faith in yourself, and if your comfort zone lies in being a student, then keep learning in the school of life. Read up on finance, job hunting, resume advice, etc. The more knowledge you have, the easier it will be for you to learn to handle whatever comes your way.

Schonberger adds, "The notion that the "best four years of your life" are behind you is a myth. You might feel burnt out, uncertain about the future, or just sad to be leaving a comfortable lifestyle and built-in social scene, but on the flip side you no longer have to deal with the irksome aspects of student life. You can own your free time and pursue your interests beyond the confines of a syllabus."

So put on that cap and gown with a sense of excitement and maturity rather than nostalgia and embrace the next chapter of your life. You may find out the real world isn't as scary as you thought.

-Christine

Please send me your questions by posting them in the comments section below. You can also email me at [e-mail]

Comments

[sandiegoconservative]

Must be nice to have the opportunity to be naieve (sp?) about the world through grad school. I worked during college and was married and had a family by the every end. I guess all that real world experience was worth it, more than a graduate degree.

[BookQueen]

Relax and enjoy your freedom and lack of responsibilities. Hang out in a coffeeshop and watch people. Walk around by yourself. Read a trashy book. Travel and see the world (you can teach English almost anywhere). Stare at art. Go out dancing at night.

One piece of boring advice: save just a little money for retirement. It sounds silly now, but a little now goes further later on.

[arkgrfx61]

Dear LFTSL,

First of all congratulations!
I'm not going to go into an in-depth analysis as to what you should or shouldn't do or how to go about doing it, but all I want to say is - the world is your oyster. You have done well all through school, now take that and run w/ it in the real world.
If you can...take a year off and travel around Europe. That might put things in perspective, or if you can't do that, then take some time off anywhere and really research what you want to do. You might find that when you do take some time off and focus on yourself, then when you are ready to move on, you are able to appreciate what you can do and you'll find that will make you successful at just about anything you put your mind to.

Good luck and enjoy!