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Christine Hassler

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Thanksgiving, Twenty-Something Style

Posted: 11/25/08 09:55 AM ET

Today's twentysomethings, aka Gen Y, have a reputation for being overly self-focused and entitled. Although there may be some truth to this stereotype, it's neither 100% true nor 100% negative. There are upsides to focusing your awareness on yourself, ESPECIALLY if it has to do with gratitude and appreciation. Around this time of year, it is very common to list all the things you are grateful that you HAVE like health, family, friends, the roof over your head, and so on. But how often does your list of gratitude include statements that are solely about who you ARE?

This Thanksgiving, consider making a list of self-gratitude - spread some love to all those parts of you that are neglected, or shut down, or just not celebrated nearly enough. Thank yourself for having the courage to look for a new job, being open to falling in love, showing compassion to your friends, practicing frugalness to achieve more financial balance during this difficult time, demonstrating enthusiasm by going to the gym, expressing creativity, or loving yourself enough to break a bad habit. Acknowledge yourself for the times you have gone out of your comfort zone to take a step toward a goal. Appreciate the moments that have been challenging in your life and be grateful to yourself for getting through them. Consider what makes you special and be grateful for the unique role you play on this earth.

Now the key to all this self-appreciation is to not make it about your ego. Self-gratitude is not meant to inflate your sense of self, but rather to recognize and appreciate who you are separate from what you have or what you do. Why is this important? Along my own journey and in my work as a life coach, I've learned that outer experience is a reflection of inner reality. The more accepting of ourselves we are, the more accepting we become of our circumstances no matter what they are. A sense of entitlement and a need for instant gratification simply come from not being fulfilled with who we are on the inside.

So begin your gratitude practice today and give yourself the validation you are craving. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you! Even bring appreciation and acceptance to the things you are not that fond of about yourself. For example, I am not a very patient person and I criticize myself for that. But I can bring light and gratitude to this quality simply by shifting my awareness to: "I am grateful that I am aware of my impatience and am practicing slowing down."

So start now! Write your own self-reflective gratitude list; acknowledge yourself, your accomplishments, your characteristics, what you have learned, your willingness to make your first Thanksgiving turkey (that's one of mine) or even just the fact that each day you get yourself out of bed. Self appreciation and recognition is not selfish or narcissistic. Rather, it creates a more loving energy field around you; thereby, attracting and radiating more love out to all the people and things you are grateful for.

And as the end of the year approaches, many of us look back at the beginning of the year with all the bright shiny resolutions, and feel a little pang for what we did or did not do. Don't beat yourself up! Every moment, every day, every year we make choices, and if you didn't get to change or move forward with something this year, that doesn't mean you can't next year. Be grateful for your self-awareness, and know that it is never too late to affect change.

And as Thanksgiving approaches, remember that practicing gratitude ALL year round is a key to sanity - don't save it all up for turkey day.
- Christine

I welcome your comments below and your questions to christineAThuffingtonpost.com.

 
 
 

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Today's twentysomethings, aka Gen Y, have a reputation for being overly self-focused and entitled. Although there may be some truth to this stereotype, it's neither 100% true nor 100% negative. There...
Today's twentysomethings, aka Gen Y, have a reputation for being overly self-focused and entitled. Although there may be some truth to this stereotype, it's neither 100% true nor 100% negative. There...
 
 
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03:34 AM on 11/26/2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBM0NULDYl8

For all of you who have been posting that it is OK to eat turkeys and other animals, please take a moment to look inside a major turkey farm by clicking on this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBM0NULDYl8

This was filmed only a few days ago at one of the largest turkey producers in the US. Please click on the link and then search your hearts. Its not about what we "can" do or have the "right" to do, but it is about what is we know is correct in the deepest part of ourselves. It is a test of our character to do the right thing when we dont have to. Please, take a moment to watch. Happy Thanksgiving to all sentient beings.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
clsmithj
Wanna Raise Some Hell
02:13 AM on 11/26/2008
I was watching Charlie Brown and I observed the Thanksgiving meal they planned.

Buttered Toast, popcorn, pretzel sticks, and gelly beans. Hmmm....Hmmm...
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08:28 PM on 11/25/2008
This Gen-Xer is just gonna stuff his face with turkey and dressing and stroke myself off another time but thanks for the suggestion.
05:16 PM on 11/25/2008
I really hate the comments about Gen Y being self-centered and entitled. I am right in the middle of Gen Y and am neither of those, nor are many of my friends, colleagues, etc. There will always be individuals that feel entitled and based on the ones that I do know from Gen Y, I think that rather than just blaming it on Gen Y, we should be looking toward the parents, Gen X, for letting their kids develop an attitude to self-entitlement. I can tell you right now that I was raised to be concerned for others, thankful for what I have, and a good work ethic.

In short, generalizations, in all forms, are unfair and inaccurate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sunzen
06:32 PM on 11/25/2008
Most Gen Y have been told they are special. That they are somehow smarter than the rest. It is a common affliction. And at the same time they have trouble connecting with others in personal situations...they are more adept at manipulating their mobile phones qwerty than communicating and connecting with others. Who knows how this will manifest in the years to come.
11:31 PM on 11/25/2008
Gen Xers, born approx. 1965-1981, are unlikely to have made these kids. One, because the oldest among us is 43, making Gen X offspring teens at best. Two, because, as you might have gleaned from the other comments, we are only selectively motivated. Two makes one even more unlikely.

You're looking to point the finger at the Baby Boomers and Generation Jones.

Oh, and no one likes a finger pointer.
04:29 PM on 11/25/2008
I'm not sure I want to combine taking stock of my assets with celebrating the genocide of indigenous American people, which is the core component of Turkey Day no one talks about. European immigrants took the help they desperatedly need from Native Americans because their agriculture was failing, and then slaughtered the NA to take their land. Not my favorite holiday.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
11907281
05:15 PM on 11/25/2008
Funny how 2 big ones (Thanksgiving and Christmas) are based on fallacy and revolve around greed and gluttony. The other big one, 4th of July, also has that whole nagging thing - "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" - was written by slave owners.
07:01 PM on 11/25/2008
What are you talking about? Columbus Day celebrates the indigenous genocide. Thanksgiving celebrates the one day white people broke bread with them.
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jukesgrrl
Republicans: Stop manipulating the vote!
04:21 PM on 11/25/2008
In the sixties, I knew some twenty-somethings who put M&Ms in the turkey stuffing to make it psychadelic. We were entitled.
04:02 PM on 11/25/2008
absolutely, chris. thanksgiving isn't about pumping up your ego or validating your shortcomings. it's about the selfless and heartfelt thanks that you (should) have for others whom you care for and love in your life. it's a celebration of everything else, not what you have inside.
02:29 PM on 11/25/2008
This is nonsense. Thanksgiving is definitely not about recognizing yourself. We waste plenty of time doing that on many of the other 364 days a year. Bad habits, character flaws, etc. are considered such for a reason. There aren't and should never be "certificates of participation" for accepting yourself. The only time you should ever congratulate yourself is when you have accomplished something - even if it happens to be small.