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Christine James-Brown

Christine James-Brown

Posted: June 16, 2010 07:28 PM

Saluting Dr. Huxtable

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As Father's Day approaches, I wanted to sing the praises of all the great dads in our nation -- biological, step, foster and adoptive. Shaping a young life takes a nurturing family and community. Fathers are a critical part of the family equation, providing emotional and financial supports that prepare children for adulthood.

One of the most notable dads was fictitious, but he imparted many life lessons. Dr. Huxtable, played by Bill Cosby, was part of the '80s television hit "The Cosby Show," and remains today a dad to emulate. After all, he was a doting father of four children and a supportive husband to his successful wife. He really stood out, revealing how listening and giving quality time can improve a child's life. I often remember scenes from their kitchen where important subjects were discussed over the making of a meal. With a quick joke or quip, he always had a way of bringing levity to serious subjects while sharing wisdom. As a mother, I would often find myself watching, laughing and even learning from the sitcom. Cliff Huxtable always struck a chord for me, reminding me of my own dear dad who recently passed.

However, the "dad data" suggests a different reality for many children. Not all children are lucky enough to live with their fathers. The U.S. Census Bureau indicates that 24 million children -- or 33 percent -- live apart from their fathers. The percentage is closer to 64 percent for African American children. Even though they don't live together, many of these fathers, to their credit, remain involved in their children's lives. However, growing up without a father's guidance and support can make children more vulnerable to poor outcomes.

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, children who live without their fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive), parents.

This is especially disturbing news for the half million children in the foster care system, for whom a stable family life with a mother or father can be elusive.

The good news is that thousands of foster parents -- including foster dads -- around the nation rise to the occasion to help stabilize, love, and care for these children. Many of these unsung heroes are foster dads -- men willing to guide and nurture a child after their families were unable to do so. Of course, there's always a need for more.

Increasingly, another source of stability and love for foster children are grandparents, who take in their grandchildren when parents aren't able to adequately care for them. In fact, more than 2.6 million grandparents are doing so today. Many of these are granddads, who share their life experiences and provide a structured, caring home for their kin.

Most foster children eventually go home -- which is often good news. For others, that's not a reality. Many of these children have been adopted by loving, forever families, with fathers who coach their teams and help them with homework. Another 120,000 foster children are still waiting, hoping that a father and mother will come their way too.

That's why this weekend, we celebrate the great fathers everywhere. Many Dr. Huxtables live among us, serving as role models and helping raise another generation of good fathers and good mothers. For all the "bad" dads we hear about, there are many more great men who are contributing to the health and welfare of children. Tonight, as they tuck in their children and give them a goodnight hug, I know that more kids will grow up to just like them. Happy Father's Day! I miss you Dad.

 

Follow Christine James-Brown on Twitter: www.twitter.com/CWLAupdates

 
 
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Tamar Abrams
communications consultant to nonprofits, writer
10:27 AM on 06/18/2010
As a long-time foster parent and as a mom (and as a Board member of CWLA), I am so happy to see this piece. If you look up the word "mother" in the dictionary, it talks about nurturing. If you look up "father," it talks about ancestry. It would be a much better world if we heed the words of this post and see both mothers and fathers taking on the role of nurturing. And, having grown up in a traditional family, I am so proud to say that my 81 year old father now cooks for my mom and is the greatest nurturer of his grandchildren that anyone could ask for. Happy Father's Day, Dad!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sharon Hunt
why don't you work on JOBS Congress?
12:51 PM on 06/17/2010
My partner, Jean Fiorito is the Exec Director of CAFAP (Ct Assoc of Foster and Adoptive Parents). She told me that Ms James-Brown was a contributor to the Huff Post. She has always spoken very highly of her. This is a wonderful article. Thank you so much!
09:27 AM on 06/17/2010
Loved the article. The good doctor actually had five children (Sondra, Denise, Theo, Vanessa, and Rudy), then along came Sondra and Elvin's twins and Denise's step-daughter Olivia, all of whom were the recipients of his love, wisdom, and encouragement. :-)
07:51 PM on 06/16/2010
Great article!!! Too many good men/fathers get alienated from their child's live because of a manipulative mother. Attorney's like jeffery Leving fight for fathers' rights on a daily basis. Even in custody cases, there is gender bias! Like the author states kids without fathers are in a world of trouble. Father's who need help should go to www.dadsrights.com