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'Smash' Recap: 23 Eyerolls From The Pilot In Chronological Order

Posted: 02/ 7/2012 12:43 am

Presented without commentary, the most absurd, comical, self-serious and/or humorless moments from the pilot episode of "Smash."

1. Megan Hilty mooning the judges.
2. "This is the real mail?"
3. "I'm happy for me, too."
4. "There's an app for the iPad now; you blow on it and the skirt goes up."
5. Debra Messing's scarf
6. "When I say Marilyn, what do you think?" "Baltimore, Maryland."
7. "We are in the middle of an adoption! [...] You said you would take the whole year off to do this!"
8. Debra Messing's entire Marilyn speech. "She glows; it reminds me of a saint."
9. "Posture is important to my dad."
10. YouLenz
11. "Michael Riedel is going to destroy us!"
12. Katharine McPhee immediately knowing all the words to a new Marilyn musical song found on YouLenz.
13. Jack Davenport's bedhead.
14. Debra Messing's awe face.
15. "HE IS A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING!"
16. "He's working with Lionsgate. Apparently, they have a film I'd be perfect for."
17. "What about Scarlett Johansson? Why isn't she on the list?"
18. Debra Messing's surprise face when Katharine McPhee starts singing.
19. Debra Messing's rapt face.
20. "Night school. That's great."
21. "Lionsgate wanted to get me on a plane at 8 o'clock in the morning."
22. "Show me your black swan, Nina!"
22. "Happy Birthday, Mr. President."
23. Jack Davenport's blue balls face.

*Note: "Let Me Be Your Star" was actually pretty amazing and eyeroll-free.

"Smash" airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on NBC

 

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Presented without commentary, the most absurd, comical, self-serious and/or humorless moments from the pilot episode of "Smash." 1. Megan Hilty mooning the judges. 2. "This is the real mail?" 3. "I'm...
Presented without commentary, the most absurd, comical, self-serious and/or humorless moments from the pilot episode of "Smash." 1. Megan Hilty mooning the judges. 2. "This is the real mail?" 3. "I'm...
 
 
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11:38 AM on 02/09/2012
You missed this gem: "In high school I worked props for Three on a Match (?). I felt happy. Even just being backstage, I don't know, I felt...WHOLE."
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eyemjustsayin
11:12 PM on 02/08/2012
This new show has virtually been shoved down our throat and claimed as a new hit, new star, blah, blah. . anytime something is hyped that hard has got to be a loser. . . . blink and it will be gone. .
12:43 PM on 02/08/2012
If NBC thinks this is going to compete in the ratings with Glee, they have another think coming. Yeah, all those 16 year old girls watching Glee are going to turn into this to hear show tunes and get all that inside Broadway action. Who picks dramas for NBC, that Octopus who picked World Cup winners a few years ago? The best hit in recent years they had was Southland, and they freaking canceled it and let it slip away to TNT. Let alone all the screwing around with Chuck and Parenthood, two other decent shows, over the the last few years.
12:39 AM on 02/08/2012
Ugh! I knew it was going to be a stinker when it opened with McPhee singing "...Rainbow". She did that twice in her Idol days and still lost to the grey haired guy. It's a re-packaged "That Girl" from back in the day. Starving actress, working as a waitress lives likes she's raking in $75K. [yawn]
09:03 AM on 02/08/2012
Seems like the story line has her living with her boyfriend. They didn't mention what he did for a living did they? I don't think its far fetched for her to be living as she does if she's living with him. I don't know, I thinks that's a silly point to be upset over. There was much more criticism I could agree with, I don't know...
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aznurse
03:40 PM on 02/08/2012
he works for the mayor
08:44 PM on 02/08/2012
Upset? Hardly! But,OK... The writing is pitiful, the acting is atrocious and Katherine McPhee clearly has a very good agent. Bet the ratings tank next week. Is that better?
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aznurse
11:11 PM on 02/07/2012
It was better than I thought it would be. It was good not to have another violent, bleep filled reality show.
and they hired real writers and actors.
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MirageRF
06:51 PM on 02/07/2012
A little to much like the old 1940's musicals for my tastes. But if others want to watch, great.
At least its not another reality show.

"Gee whiz gang. Let's put on a show!"
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TSRVT
Cantankerous New England curmudgeon
06:10 PM on 02/07/2012
My first eyeroll: "We could do a baseball number!" And they said that stinker twice!
01:06 AM on 02/12/2012
As one who's never been a big fan of musicals, I also winced at the baseball idea, because "the writer-characters" did exactly and IMMEDIATELY what I hate to see real musical do — they ricocheted off into an unrelated direction, using the slightest mention of a word as a contrived excuse to do a "wouldn't-it-be-fun-to-do" type of number. And the writer-characters did this after being drawn by the "deep, rich story" of Marilyn Monroe. If it's such a deep rich story, why were they playing baseball with it, instead of focussing on the DiMaggio RELATIONSHIP?

Having said all that, I must admit, the number itself was stunning and blew away any choreography I've ever seen on Glee.
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Lorraine Devon Wilke
Writer, photographer; rock & roll vet
05:16 PM on 02/07/2012
I'm struggling. I am. I wanna be so supportive. I love musical theater, Angelica Huston, even Debra Messing, but the problem is I remember Ms. McPhee from her slightly pouting "Daddy's Little Girl" introduction on American Idol and while she's clearly pretty and can sing, I dunno...

Is it just that I knew too many little girls like her? The "come on everybody, watch Katharine sing/tap dance/twirl batons!!" girls whose clapping shiny-eyed parents demanded "Tots and Tiaras" kind of attention for their little princesses while the scruffy guitar banging poet in the back yard had the room all to himself.

I know, I know, I'm a curmudgeon. I wish her well. I do. I wish the show well. I loved Steven Spielberg when he did Schindler's List. But frankly I'd rather see someone build a show around that rough & tumble little folk singing dreadlocked gal, Crystal Bowersox; watch her climb her way out of the neighborhood, her Oldsmobile and that low-rent coffee house into a big league career on stage. Now THAT would keep me watching.

Miz. McPhee? She doesn't need me. She'll be a big star regardless: pretty, happy, famous, and doing duets with Celine Dion and Josh Groban. Good for her. But I'm gonna go listen to Adele and maybe a little Bowersox....
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TSRVT
Cantankerous New England curmudgeon
06:07 PM on 02/07/2012
Now THAT was a review worth reading! Great work, and I'm with you 100%. As a fellow curmudgeon, I agree completely. I'll watch Crystal Bowersox all day and night.
09:41 PM on 02/07/2012
Put "Smash" on the DVR...now after reading these comments, I'm almosr too embarrassed to watch it. But so-o-o glad to read the Bowersox comment. Idol's had its fair share of singers/belters/divas, etc. but Crystal was far and way the best and truest ARTIST the show ever had. A totally honest performer with an actual (not contrived) hard knocks story line, she was captivatingly amazing just about every performance. Her loss to someone not one-tenth as good as her convinced me once and for all that these shows all come down to the tastes of 13 year old screamers. So I swore off Idol but, forgive me lord, and now hooked the The Voice. But that's another story and another psychosis. Thing is, network TV would never do a "Smash" type thing about a Bowersox because America wouldn't get it...Bowersox is nourishment, Mcphee is desert.
07:27 AM on 02/14/2012
Yes but the Crystal Bowersox Story would make a great movie. The plot outline is already on you tube with clips of her autobiographical songs pre-Idol and post-Idol. There is a playlist at channel wj4k1720 called The Crystal Bowersox Story where someone tried to tell Crystal's story with Crystal's songs.
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rigmoten
Occupy the Micro-bio.
04:17 PM on 02/07/2012
Is this vertical editing?
03:50 PM on 02/07/2012
I liked it. I'm TiVoing it. It takes a while to get the pace of a new show but I think SMASH will be a lot of fun.
03:31 PM on 02/07/2012
The best part of the show was watching "The Voice" right before it.
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hippie canyon
not available on gps
03:09 PM on 02/07/2012
My first eyeroll: The sledgehammer opening number, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." But then, what did anyone expect from the master of Vanilla Bean himself... Stephen Spielberg!
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Jacquie Wolfe
02:31 PM on 02/07/2012
My thoughts exactly...I won't be watching.
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02:09 PM on 02/07/2012
I liked it. Sure, the pilot had a few problems, but most do. Give me this over CSI: Whatever any day.
12:05 AM on 02/12/2012
Agree.
02:07 PM on 02/07/2012
Thanks for the recap. Now I feel even better about not watching that crap. I'm not a teenage girl nor young gay boy.
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spank an elf
you scare me
08:15 PM on 02/07/2012
Young gay boys have far better taste. Teenage girls, not so sure.