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Cindy Handler

Cindy Handler

Posted: December 9, 2009 05:27 PM

Do You Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident?

What's Your Reaction:

It's official: New Yorkers aren't entitled to the same freedoms that residents of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and after New Year's, New Hampshire can take for granted. I refer, of course, to the right of all the state's citizens to marry the individuals they love, and to enjoy the thousand or more legal rights and benefits that marriage entails. Not that they don't have plenty of company: Every other state in the union has two separate sets of laws for consenting adults. Next up in the legislative ring is New Jersey, where a bill to legalize gay marriage is expected to be voted on before Governor Corzine leaves office. Before he was defeated by conservative Chris Christie, the likelihood of its passage was described by a backer as "a slam dunk." Now he refers to its prospects as "who knows."

The legislative road to equality is long and can even double-back on itself, as we've seen in California and Maine, where voters rejected their Supreme Court's decision and legislature's bill, respectively. Sadly, as Chris Matthews observed the other day on Hardball, "This is a right, [but] a lot of rights wouldn't be approved if you had a vote on them."

This seems to hold true for gay rights, so far. But there's another way to advocate for change, and that's from the bottom to the top. Great ideas are bubbling up from young people, whom polls consistently show are more likely to understand that the issue is one of legal parity. A ten-year-old in Arkansas refuses to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance because gays and lesbians don't have equal rights. Per lawyer Emma Ruby-Sachs' post here last week, hundreds of New York couples say they're going to seek annulments to their marriages on the grounds that their contracts violate constitutional equality guarantees. And on a much larger, less painful scale, an energetic Harvard Business School and Harvard Kennedy School of Government graduate is launching a non-profit group called The Right Side of History Campaign. It takes its inspiration from the civil rights movement of the early '60s, which was propelled in large part by college students and other young idealists.

"Up to now, the frame of the gay rights movement has largely been an outgrowth of the sexual revolution, a backlash to sexual oppression," says Brian Elliot, Right Side's CEO and founder. "But to young people today, the issue isn't about relationships, or for that matter, religion. It's all about being treated as equal citizens. And that's a goal that resonates far beyond the gay community." The younger the voting group, he points out, the stronger the support for gay marriage. Currently, well over half of 18-29-year-olds in 38 states explicitly support it, and actuarial tables indicate that the future holds great promise for equal rights.

So if legal equality will eventually come, the group asks, why should anyone be a victim of bad timing, and have to wait for it? To that end, Right Side is finding new, and sometimes formerly unlikely, champions to mobilize what they see as the next equal rights movement. They're engaging college campus leaders, from frat and sorority members to student government activists and possibly heads of campus religious groups, to protest, advocate and even talk to their family members about this issue, ala the Great Schlep movement. Tapping into young people's ability to maximize the web and to speak candidly about their beliefs and values is a strategy that has much in common with Barack Obama's own pre-election playbook.

And it is still just as effective: A recent protest at Washington University in St. Louis drew strong involvement from fraternity students, animated, as Elliot points out, by the need to say "I'm standing up for what I believe in. My lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender brothers and sisters don't have what I have, and I need to do something about it. "

In the meantime, the pursuit of happiness remains elusive for large chunks of the populace. In 29 states, it's perfectly legal to fire employees based on their sexual orientation. Tenants in 32 states can be legally evicted from their homes simply because they're gay. And 13,000 service members have been discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell. Opponents of gay rights claim that they do so to protect children, yet LGBT young people are three times as likely as their peers to be bullied; six times more likely to be depressed; and eight times more likely to commit suicide. Roughly four hate crimes are committed daily against them. It seems disingenuous at best to talk about shielding the innocent when it's singling them out as lesser citizens that does them the greatest harm.

 
It's official: New Yorkers aren't entitled to the same freedoms that residents of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and after New Year's, New Hampshire can take for granted. I refer, of cours...
It's official: New Yorkers aren't entitled to the same freedoms that residents of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and after New Year's, New Hampshire can take for granted. I refer, of cours...
 
 
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03:57 PM on 12/10/2009
Change comes from the next generation--and there is always a next generation growing up, ready to be heard. Let's hope we do not have to wait too long.
03:55 PM on 12/10/2009
As a student at Washington University (the school mentioned in the article) I have seen first hand the desire of America's youth to achieve perfect equality in gay rights. Sure, my school is a bit on the liberal side and most students emanate from Democrat hotspots in urban areas--but I can guarantee that the school climate is more pro-LGBT than it was 5 years ago. Even 3 years ago. Though current legislation, as Handler rights, is no longer a slam dunk, it definitely remains a no brainer on college campuses.

The challenge facing the Right Side of History remains not changing minds, but mobilizing minds. Though the median student will casually remark that LGBT inequality is unfair, silly and archaic, he is much less likely to do anything about it. Specifically, what can he do short of marching onto Capitol Hill? Movements like the Right Side of History must give these indifferents a tangible activity to participate in some way. At WashU, the Right Side has begun to enlist students to record videos of themselves talking about gay rights and posting it to facebook. THIS is what I mean by mobilization. Obviously, it's not much but in the aggregate, a million videos can make a difference to a Senator or Congressman. To Brian and the rest of the Right Side, good luck and never, never stop.

A. Greenberg
12:54 PM on 12/10/2009
No one asks about your sexual orientation when you apply for a marriage license. Anyone who wishes to marry can get married within the equally applied restrictions. This is not a violation of the equal protection clause.
08:37 PM on 12/10/2009
Yes it is.
11:15 AM on 12/12/2009
How did you come to this conclusion?
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klmebane
04:22 PM on 12/11/2009
equally applied restrictions? how is it equally applied when heterosexual people can marry for romantic love and gay people can't? by definition, being gay means you don't have romantic feelings for the opposite sex, so don't tell me i can marry someone of the opposite sex just like you can. i can't marry for love, but a straight person can marry (and divorce) as many times as they'd like for any reason from love to money!
11:25 AM on 12/12/2009
I realize that the view that marriage is equal for everyone is a profoundly unsatisfying view for anyone who wants to wed someone of the same sex. But I do not think that this makes it untrue. I, myself, am pretty disgusted at the antics and abhorrent acts that go on in many marriages, like adultery, child abuse, physical and mental abuse, etc., and the disgustingly high divorce rate. These have done great damage to many families.

And I understand that this will be a dissatisfying comment as well, but same sex couples can have lifelong commitments without marriage. Couples in states without same sex marriage laws have wedding ceremonies where all their friends and families attend.
11:32 AM on 12/10/2009
These social deviants must be stopped at all costs. They decry oppression, but their nefarious agenda is to achieve special rights above others, to be more than equal. Tradition, religion, and nature speak against their lifestyle: less than 10% of the population subscribes to that perverse way of life. They want special baseball gloves, golf clubs, computer mice, keyboards, scissors, and pens!! Whats next, separate schools, courts, and bathrooms!? I speak of course of the left-handed lifestyle. I myself was lead into that sin early in life, but have now seen the light. True, I continue to struggle with these demons of side-preferential coordination, but am proud to say I have not committed a left-handed act for 22 years! The proposition that such perversion is a product of genetics is leftist (see the hidden meaning!) propaganda. Its a choice, and we must save these people, even from themselves.
01:45 PM on 12/10/2009
Very clever! :)
08:32 PM on 12/10/2009
Sorry, I didn't catch the end of your post. BTW, I'm a lefty, and it's a good analogy.
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rextrek
50yr old, Moderate-liberal in S.NJ/Phila
10:05 AM on 12/10/2009
"It seems disingenuous at best to talk about shielding the innocent when it's singling them out as lesser citizens that does them the greatest harm."

..and as it is very important to point out ..MANY LGBT Americans are Parents / Raising children & Families......somehow, the impression many people have is that LGBT people are some BIG Partying Sexual Deviants..when thats NOT the case at all.....just like heteros - LGBT Americans are MORE then thier sex/sex lives.....trying to live everyday lives,doing everyday mundane things to "get by" and survive like everyone else. Just this am, my Straight sister says to me - that Im angry all the time, and Not as happy as I used to be....I said "Then how about we all vote on your rights, take them away....and see how happy you are"??? She still doesn't get it........I guess until its happening to You....you'll never "get it" !
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sprtakis69
Shouldn't all people be entitled to Equal rights?
02:28 PM on 12/12/2009
My father asked me "why this is so important?"

Why can't we just shut up about it?

Will we ever just drop it?

I told him we will drop it, just like the women of the suffrage dropped it, just like African Americans dropped it, just like those wanting inter-racial marriage dropped it - right after the laws change, people kind of forget about it, shut up and move on.

Do you think gays and lesbians in Massachusetts, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Connecticut march and protest for marriage rights in their states now? I doubt it. Everyone’s lives have gone back to normal and I bet straight Americans in those states got back to life as they know it, they probably sleep without “gay” marriage nightmares too. I mean, I hope they would. If all you can think about is how gay marriage is going to ruin your life – you’ve got serious issues!

The religious right hates gays so much you’d think they’d really want us to have marriage equality just to ensure we burn in hell!
09:58 AM on 12/10/2009
You accuse the opponents of same-sex marriage of being disingenuous in talking about shielding the innocent. Well, yes, though I'd use a stronger word -dishonest. As you point out, it remains lawful after some 35 years of legislative struggle on the part of gay citizens to discriminate in housing and employment based on sexual orientation in a solid majority of states. Were gay rights opponents' tireless efforts to maintain that sort of discrimination about trying to protect children too? Or how about these same people's opposition to ending military discrimination? The only thing our opponents are trying to protect is the homophobia itself that still pervades our society and they know that toward that end it's crucial that gay Americans continue to be denied the social respect conferred by marriage and military service, and legal equality in general. Respect erodes bigotry and prejudice. They also know that the most effective way to win voters to their side has always been to appeal to irrational parental anxiety born of homophobia - to whit, legal equality and the increased social acceptance of gay people that follows from it could somehow cause my child to become gay.
03:08 AM on 12/10/2009
See my previous post for the context:

That's your right to think that. A Muslim may consider a homosexual man to be indulging in a immoral lifestyle. That's his right to think so. You may even speak out against the supposed hatred of the religious people who think homosexuality is immoral. That's your right! Enjoy it!
The Muslim enjoys it as well. The government cannot censure gays for their sexual orientation and/or lifestyle, or their belief that homosexuality is not immoral. Neither can the government censure those who believe the opposite. :)
03:29 PM on 12/12/2009
What is your emphasis on Islamic thought for? Muslims don't make any sort of majority anywhere in the US. Why do you always focus on what they think of our country?
03:07 AM on 12/10/2009
America's equality is sure a wonderful aspect of our country. As our Declaration of Independence states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident-that all men are created equal." Our country does not allow discrimination based upon any line. I think that's one of the things which makes America great. That legal equality must extend to all. To whites, to blacks, to gays, to lesbians, and to the religious. Religious liberty forms one of the cornerstones of our democracy. Several of our founding fathers discussed this freedom. It even made it into the first amendment of our Constitution. Congress can make no law forbidding freedom of speech and freedom of religion. One truly has the right in our country to think whatever they please. I can believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster for all the government cares. Or, at least, they should. What about those religions that consider homosexuality to be immoral? That would include the Big Three of Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, as well as others. With legal rights to equality comes government protection of this equality. One must be wary when a government in its efforts to protect the equality of one group tramples on the equality of another. It seems to me a nice guise of totalitarianism. Punishing someone because they think something. You may consider religious people who oppose a homosexual lifestyle on religious grounds to be hate filled bigots.
08:39 PM on 12/10/2009
Religious people who oppose us ARE hate-filled bigots.
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sprtakis69
Shouldn't all people be entitled to Equal rights?
02:38 PM on 12/12/2009
How does giving a minority the right to marriage equality trample on the majorities marriage rights? Marriage rights for the majority will not change, they willstill have the right to marry the person they choose. Nothing will change for them, what would change is the rights of the minority to marry who they, as TAX PAYING AMERICAN CITIZEN'S, choose. No change for society as a whole. No one would be forced in to same sex marriage. So how does giving rights to the minority trample on the rigths of the majority?

Explain it to my like I'm a 5th grader....
01:57 AM on 12/10/2009
This is a very important cause. Thank you for addressing this and bringing it to more peoples' attention.
01:14 AM on 12/10/2009
I love Right Side's strategy of engaging college kids and people who don't identify as LGBT. It's an embarrassment to our country that we deny equal rights to people simply based on who they love. It should be a non-issue. I hope when I have kids they are as shocked by the rights that were denied to non-heterosexual Americans when I grew up as I was when I learned about the rights denied to non-white Americans when my parents grew up.
10:55 AM on 12/10/2009
i agree 100%. we inherit the problems of our parents, and have the power to change the future for our children - and change it for the better. let us not repeat the mistakes of the past...ESPECIALLY when it centers around someone's capacity and ability to love.
12:57 AM on 12/10/2009
This is a great article about a great organization. I am very hopeful that they way that the Right Side of History plans to address this issue will be the one that we have been waiting for. Engaging straight youth to speak out and organize around this will be very exciting and will hopefully prove to be what we have been waiting for. Good luck to the Right Side and hopefully we can start to see some action soon!
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BoyInBOYCOTT
12:46 AM on 12/10/2009
Thank You for the article
ME and NY took it's toll on me, and while I might not see equality, but judging by the college support it's coming.
09:01 PM on 12/09/2009
Excellent post!....well written, well reasoned, logical, and morally correct! There is no reason now, nor has there ever been a legitimate reason for any legal distinction whatever between gay or straight individuals. It has long been established that sexual orientation is not a matter of personal choice but is rather a matter of genetic and/or hormonal inflluences determined before birth, just as are hair and the color of ones eyes. Congratulations to Ms. Handler for stating the case for equal rights so well!
08:21 PM on 12/09/2009
Great post, and happy to hear about Right Side. I have frequently invited anti-equality legislators to visit my house and meet my three children, and to wish two of them happy marriages and then tell the third that he can't get married. Hmmm.. No one has accepted my invitation.
06:38 PM on 12/09/2009
Thanks for this well reasoned post. It is my feeling that those who oppose marriage equality , which is a basic human right, do so out of fear and ignorance of the other. Yes, with the younger generation understanding this as a human rights, not religious issue , I do believe its acceptance is inevitable in the future. But in the meantime, we who advocate for it, must redouble our efforts to help those who are blinded by their fear. I think " A Great Schlep"-type effort for this would do wonders!