The last time I moaned about my eyebrows being too thin and not long enough, a man friend told me to think myself lucky that's the only thing I have that's too thin and not long enough.
Fair point, well made. But what's a gal gotta do to get a decent pair of brows? They do, after all, help shape the face. While I'm not ready to go the tattoo route because a) some places charge $1,000 and b) they usually look awful, it's time to check out other options.
I visited the premises of one Anastasia in Beverly Hills. Not only is she probably the world's most expensive eyebrow plucker, Anastasia sells a range of products she claims will give us eyebrows to be proud of.
An assistant offered to demonstrate their most popular products. She found a template of the perfect brow for me after measuring angles and doing various calculations. I loved it that someone was taking my plight so seriously.
Twenty minutes and $122 later, I left the store with Anastasia's Essential Brow Kit and the thickest eyebrows since Joan Crawford. I wasn't fooling anyone. They screamed fake.
An avalanche of tweezers, brushes and powders later -- enough to open my own brow boutique -- I have finally devised an essential kit that works for me: a sable brush, Merle Norman's Storm powder, Lacrosse slanted tweezers and a 10X magnifying mirror.
Although I don't have any eyebrow hairs to spare, there are still a few stragglers under the brow that need plucking. Just when I thought all was well in my own private beauty parlor and smiled smugly that I had cracked my great brow conundrum, I caught a glimpse in my magnifying mirror of what appeared to be the makings of a moustache.
It wasn't as spectacular as Frida Kahlo's, but it was an issue that needed addressing, stat.
I reached for my tweezers. As I drew the magnifying mirror towards me, another horror revealed itself: A veritable bush of nose hair. While I looked at my reflection, it dawned on me that tweezers were no longer enough to keep my unwanted hair in line. It was time to pull out the big guns -- and time to Google "laser hair removal."
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.
Follow Claire Fordham on Twitter: www.twitter.com/claire_fordham
Most women who have facial hair don't deliberately try and have it, you know (or don't?) It's usually caused by ethnicity (Italian, Middle Eastern) and hormones. Getting rid of it permanently can be very expensive (also have to be careful of darker skin and lasers) and many simply can't afford it. So no, they aren't "trying to be a man" at all.