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Clarence B. Jones

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Same Sex Marriage: If Not Now, When? If Not America's First African American President, Who?

Posted: 05/14/2012 10:27 am

The extensive media coverage and pundit commentary about President Obama's public support for same sex marriage as an "equal right" for all in our nation, irrespective of gender, challenges the wisdom of offering further comment. We nevertheless offer our thoughts on the matter.

Last week, I first heard the news reports of the president's comments on same sex marriage while visiting Washington, DC. After actually watching and listening to his remarks during the interview at the White House conducted by ABC News' Robin Roberts, President Obama's comments provoked immediate thoughts about other related, as well as disparate, things; such as:

  • The English scholar Joseph Campbell's concept of "the hero's journey" in literature. Campbell describes a "hero" as the person who goes out and achieves great deeds on behalf of a group, tribe, or civilization.
  • Dr. King's various writing and speeches about the nature of moral leadership, especially his statement that: "On some positions cowardice ask the question 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question 'Is it politic?' Vanity asks the question 'Is it popular?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' There comes a time when one must take a stand that is neither expedient, that's neither safe, that's neither politic or that is neither popular, but he must take that stand because it is right."
  • President Abraham Lincoln's 1863 "Emancipation Proclamation" ending slavery in the United States.
  • Harper Lee's book To Kill a Mockingbird about a white lawyer, Atticus Finch, who was appointed by the criminal court in Maycomb, Alabama to defend Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a white woman during the Depression. The trial, and the eloquent defense by Atticus Finch described in the book, and later depicted in a movie, became a major part of the culture on race relations in America during the 20th century following Margaret Mitchell's earlier publication of Gone With the Wind
  • The remarks of Rabbi Joachim Prinz, president of the American Jewish Congress, at the March On Washington, 1963 in which he said: "When I was a rabbi of the Jewish community in Berlin under the Hitler regime, I learned many things. The most important thing that I learned under those tragic circumstances was that bigotry and hatred are not the most urgent problem. The most urgent, the most disgraceful, the most shameful, and the most tragic problem is silence."
  • President Lyndon B. Johnson's address to a Joint Session of Congress on March 15th, 1965 in connection with the proposed Voting Rights Act of 1965. Among the things he said was: "I speak tonight for the dignity of man and the destiny of democracy ... At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom.(describing the assault on African Americans, including young John Lewis, now a member of Congress, peacefully protesting the denial of their right to vote in Selma, Alabama ... The cries of pain and the hymns and protests of oppressed people have summoned into convocation all the majesty of this great government."
  • Elizabeth Cady Stanton's leadership in getting, for the first time, the right of women to vote which was eventually enshrined and codified in the 19th Amendment to our Constitution in August 1920.
  • The assassination of Harvey Milk in November 1978 in San Francisco as the first openly gay elected public official in the United States and the killing of Mathew Shepard because he was gay, near Laramie Wyoming in October 1998.
  • The tireless, 24/7, sometimes "in your face," organizational work and media message of the LGBT community's insistence that that gay rights be respected and accorded all the equal protection of our laws and the right to share in all the rights in our society to which everyone else, who is not gay, is entitled.
  • That it was America's first African American president and our nation's 44th president of the United States who openly affirmed the right of same sex people to marry in our country.

Most of the media and political commentators have framed President Obama's support for same sex marriage in terms of equality before and under our laws. This is short sighted and fails to recognize a more fundamental issue at play here.

Same sex marriage is not only about "equal rights" to marry whomever you wish in America. The rights underlying same sex marriage are fundamental -- and more importantly, they're about the power of love, the enduring power of love. It's about elementary fairness and decency in a democratic society. It's about the application of the age old "golden rule": treat others the way in which we want to be treated in turn.

A corollary to this in political leadership is that political leaders should love the people they serve. I am not talking about "romantic relationship" love. I am talking about the ethical basis for "loving" people different or engaged in a lifestyle different than that which political leaders have acknowledged or addressed in the past.

A just society neither encourages, discourages nor prohibits same sex marriage. Classic "libertarian conservatism" logically suggests that government should refrain from interfering or dictating who or what kind of person in our nation is qualified to give or receive love from another person in society.

President Obama recognized that we have moved beyond the 20th century issue of "what is the color of love" to the 21st century question of what is the gender of love. The president, like great leaders before him, appears to be reaching up to the moral arc of the universe to assure that it continues to bend toward justice. As such, he is leaving a legacy in which government does not dictate, proscribe or determine that same sex love, commitment and/or marriage is not entitled to the same respect and equal legal protections in our nation as opposite sex love, commitment and/or marriage.

Historians may argue that President Obama's speech in Grant Park, Chicago, as president-elect, on November 5, 2008 was his most important speech. Others might point to his acceptance speech on receipt of the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo or his speech on race, "A More Perfect Union," March 18, 2008 in Philadelphia when his candidacy was threatened by his relationship with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, the pastor of the church he attended in Chicago. I believe, however, that Obama words affirming same sex marriage will be cited by historians as seminal and defining of his presidency:


"I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors, when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same sex relationships, who are raising kids together; when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that 'don't ask, don't tell' is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married."

Those simple words are President Obama's updated 21st century version of Dr. King's prophetic view and hope for America expressed in his 1963 " I Have a Dream" Speech.

At that time, Dr King said:

"I have a dream one day... when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, 'My country, 'tis of thee, and sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.'"

"And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

President Obama has made it clear that the right for gay/lesbian, bisexual and transgender people to marry the person they love enables them to be finally "free at last" -- to be included in the Dream that Dr. King had for America.

To preempt any criticism that I am suggesting that Dr. King would have favored same sex marriage, this is not what I am saying. I am saying, without fear of contradiction, that Dr. King believed in and was committed to the enduring power of love as expressed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends. Prophecies will pass away; tongues will cease; and knowledge, will pass away."

Same sex marriage is ultimately and fundamentally about love; love of one human being for another.

Accordingly, for those religious evangelicals and others in our country opposed to same sex marriage and full equal rights for gay people in our society, the question they must pause and consider is my belief, unrelated to the views of President Obama, that God must really love gay people. Otherwise, why would he continue to create so many of them?

These issues transcend the question of whether or not President Obama publicly affirmed same sex marriage as an act of "political expediency" to gain votes. No one has ever claimed President Obama to be a "dumb" or "stupid" political leader. He can read and count just like any other politician. With 32 states having laws or amendments to their constitutions defining marriage to be between only a man and a woman, it is not likely that President Obama looked at announcing his support for same sex marriage as an act primarily of political expediency to gain votes during a national presidential election year. Like other great political statesmen before him President Obama understands that nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come. This is not political expediency. This is political astuteness and an acknowledgement of current political reality.

 
 
 
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08:15 PM on 05/15/2012
How fundamentally beautiful. Rights are simply the guarantees of something more powerful, in this case "... enduring power of love. It's about elementary fairness and decency in a democratic society." Those ought to be the leading words on the news stories covering this. I wonder how many people understand this relationship. How could one even argue with this? (please don't answer that last question).
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istanbulite
09:44 AM on 05/15/2012
Many thanks for the great article. I would simply ask why you left out of the timelines the 1967 Supreme Court ruling of Loving v Virginia that found anti-miscegenation to be unconstitutional. That action of the Supreme Court took much bravery as 70% of Americans did not approve of interracial marriages. It is also the most important corollary to the more recent issue of gay marriage. Love between races is indeed no different than love between same genders. The color of a baby's skin is no different than the gayness that lies within. One is much more obvious in the beginning but soon the other will make itself known. God loves all creatures whether they number in the millions or are just one.
12:49 PM on 05/15/2012
I simply recited those acts or instances of individuals speaking or initiating an action in their individual capacity. I did think of the Loving decision as the 1954 Brown decision outlawing racial segregation as a matter of public policy in our public education and other landmark cases.

Was merely being factual as to what immediately came to mind after I heard President Obama affirm the legal validity of same sex marriage.

Thank you for you comment

Dr. Jones
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istanbulite
03:56 PM on 05/15/2012
Dr Jones,

Many thanks for the quick response and explanation. I really appreciate your candor and personal observations. I am sure that MLK is smiling down at you and saying Amen. Perhaps in time more people will understand Obama's bravery and character. At the moment we (partner and I) are composing a letter to all of our family and friends to take a moment to consider Obama's bravery and what it means to us and to support us at the ballot box this fall. Some will find it distateful and others will have already reached that point. We want all of them to know that when they mark that box in November that who they vote for will have a huge impact on us.
10:47 PM on 05/14/2012
why dont africican americans agree with you?
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04:57 PM on 05/14/2012
Did everyone notice how the media immediately jumped on this issue as a "the black community will never stand for this and vote against Obama" idea? Maybe the black community has evolved enough and is smart enough to understand the separation of church and state and that the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law for everyone, including gays. Churches dogma doesn't have to change, we just have to be a society that gives equal rights to all religious expression, including that which says gays can marry.
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04:52 PM on 05/14/2012
Obama did not make the Gaymancipation proclamation. He gave his opinion on a state's issue that may eventually be a Supreme Court issue. The congress may end DOMA. So really the only power he has on this issue is signing something he has to depend on the congress to pass. He's already done pretty much all he has the power to do to grant equal access to gay citizens that his office allows. But it is important to keep him in office.
04:01 PM on 05/14/2012
Dr King would not have been in favor of gay marriges
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Balancement
Timendi causa est nescire. -- Seneca
09:43 PM on 05/14/2012
Somehow I feel quite certain that Dr. King, who understood discrimination and the depth of possibility in the human heart in such a profound and ground-breaking way, was just as capable as the President is of evolving on this issue. Were he still with us, I doubt very much he would find himself, as you are, on the wrong side of history.
04:30 AM on 05/15/2012
The bible is history and I am not on the wrong side of it
02:41 PM on 05/14/2012
The controversy is not about the power of love. His comments were applied to a basic principle of Christianity. He applied the Golden Rule, and the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ as some kind of way to accept all types of behavior and decisions in a person's life. Regardless of how you feel about Christianity it does not anywhere say that it is acceptable to have a same sex marriage. What Obama said was a lie and he is wrong in his application of the Golden Rule. Should you treat everyone with respect, love, and compassion, Yes. Does that mean you throw out certain parts of your beliefs and pick and choose which parts you want to apply?, No! If you agree with same-sex marriage that is your choice, but don't try and apply a Christian principle to something that Christianity is strictly against. If you say you are a Christian as Obama does then he should know his personal Lord and Savior specifically describes marriage between a man and woman. Obama does not get to manipulate God's words to fit his political agenda. I don't care if he is president.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
06:11 PM on 05/14/2012
Jesus does not appear to have been the shy and retiring type. The Bible says that he willing died for humanity. Given that, why would Jesus never have spoken about homosexuality if he saw it as a sin? Not a word was ever spoken about gay folks by the savior that people see in Jesus. If he did not criticize relationships between people of the same sex, how can his claimed followers?
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GDWhiteman
Christian mystic iconoclast
10:01 PM on 05/14/2012
Please don't make blanket statements saying the Christianity is against loving same-sex relationships. There are many millions of Christians like me who are completely accepting of them and find no conflict with God or our faith in that. Frankly, it embarrasses me to be lumped with people who make claims like you just did about Christianity. From our perspective, you and your like-minded religionists are the ones who have manipulated God's words to fit your own agenda.

If you must, at least have the decency to quality your statements - something like "according to Christians who believe as I do......" would be honest. Your all-inclusive statements about Christianity are not. They are bearing false witness against me and many, many others. I do not appreciate it. You owe us an apology for lying about us and our Christian beliefs.
02:13 PM on 05/15/2012
GD Whiteman if you are an ordained minister then shame on you. I will not apologize for speaking the truth. You flat out just admitted that you choose to interpret the Bible differently. Your reasoning is that this does not apply to Gentiles! If it does not fit your belief system it must be wrong then so lets just throw it out. You are also admitting to picking and choosing which parts you feel comfortable with. I will not apologize to you or any other Christian who disagrees with me on this subject matter. I will never apologize for believing what I believe. You can either accept me the way I am or keep lying to me and many other Christians that God is okay with homosexuality. I will let you explain it to God when you see Him.
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01:39 PM on 05/14/2012
compromize always smells like a stinky finger! Worse when you pick your nose
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
06:12 PM on 05/14/2012
Descartes said that, right?
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Balancement
Timendi causa est nescire. -- Seneca
01:36 PM on 05/14/2012
And I've always loved the courage and power of Coretta Scott King's words as well:

"We are all tied together in a single garment of destiny. I can never be what I ought to be until you are allowed to be what you ought to be. I've always felt that homophobic attitudes and policies were unjust and unworthy of a free society and must be opposed by all Americans who believe in democracy.

"Gays and lesbians stood up for civil rights in Montgomery, Selma, in Albany, Ga. and St. Augustine, Fla., and many other campaigns of the Civil Rights Movement. Many of these courageous men and women were fighting for my freedom at a time when they could find few voices for their own, and I salute their contributions.

"Freedom from discrimination based on sexual orientation is surely a fundamental human right in any great democracy, as much as freedom from racial, religious, gender, or ethnic discrimination."

We *are* all together in this fight against discrimination. It's our job to leave this planet better than we found it.
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inthelandoftheblind
Obama wants a strong Middle Class
11:53 PM on 05/14/2012
Thank you for posting this - words from another time... when we were evolving from some of the darkest days in the history of this country - by someone who describes the REAL AMERICA from her heart & life experience. This country is where freedom is supposed to be more than just a word!

Came here to say thanks for faving a comment of mine.My reward... reading this post. She was quite a woman!.
jhNY
Mercy.
01:17 PM on 05/14/2012
Perhaps lost on most of us at the time, but the end of the DADT policy in the armed forces removed the last practical impediment to equal rights for gays in the US, given precedents in our history.

Lincoln was not a champion of equality or even citizenship for blacks when he ran for the presidency, nor for the first couple of years in office. But once blacks were allowed a combat role in the US Army, and had spilled their blood as black men for the cause of our union, Lincoln's views on these matters changed, and by war's end, he advocated full equality and citizenship, first for for blacks who had served in the military, but rapidly after, for all black Americans.

Now that gays can serve openly as gays in the military during our present "long war" era, it is only a matter of time before full equality in all aspects of society and its institutions will follow, as civil rights for blacks was, in the postwar 20th century, brought back front and center to general American consciousness when Truman announced the end of segregation in the armed forces in the late '40's.

As in the civil rights era, there will be, as there have been, especially around the heated issue of marriage, pushbacks and attempts to further legalize inequality in some places, for some time. But they will ultimately fail.
11:12 AM on 05/14/2012
In my humble opinion, this is a subject better left alone. The first amenment of the U. S. Cobnstitution says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or of abridging the freedom speech, or of the press, or of the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of agrievances".

IMHO, the right of the people to peaceably to assemble includes the right not only to gather together to express their opinions but also to gather together as a family. The state of North Carolina recently passed a law banning same-serx marriages. I expect that law to be struck down by the U. S. Supreme Court based on the peacerably assembly clause.
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HermaO
Conservatism is intellectual laziness.
10:54 AM on 05/14/2012
Beautifully written.
10:38 AM on 05/14/2012
Obama's 180 on gay marriage sparked some surly Sunday sermons:
http://www.spnheadlines.com/2010/01/furor-erupts-over-obama-remark-on-gays_27.html