12 Titles For Carrie Prejean's Sex Tapes (Doug's Dozen #19)
Holy autoeroticism! She made 7 of them? She must do it religiously!
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Lesley Stern: How to Live On $0 a Day: Saving a Cherished American Holiday
Ask your neighbors over for a potluck Thanksgiving feast, just like the Pilgrims invited the Native Americans. Once you've enjoyed their delicious offerings, kill them and steal their possessions and property.
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Lou Dobbs Urged To Run For President By Imaginary Friend
In a conference call with reporters, Mr. Dobbs said that he had not thought about seeking public office until his fictitious playmate, Moo, pleaded with him to consider it.
2012 and All That
Sarah Palin, Going Rogue, 2012, and the end of the Mayan Calendar. It all has a fearful symmetry.
Facing Criticism, Goldman Sachs Cancels Plan to Dance Around Bonfire of Thousand Dollar Bills
The company had planned to perform a pagan dance around the inferno of blazing thousands while roasting a suckling pig as part of their year-end bonus celebration, but howls of protest forced them to reconsider.
African Leaders Advise Bono On Reform Of U2
Saying that U2's rock had lost touch with its African roots, the Commission called for urgent measures to halt U2's slide towards impending crisis.
Neiman Marcus Goes Budget
The extravagant offerings in Neiman Marcus' 83rd annual catalog do not disappoint. Restrictions and exclusions apply to Goldman Sachs employees and anyone named Madoff.
Oprah! to Ascend!; Copyrights Exclamation Point!
Shocking even Herself, Oprah! Winfrey announced she will soon end her earthly talk-show reign in preparation for Her Ascension.
Sneak Preview: The Oprah Winfrey Network
Before Oprah Winfrey's last daily show airs in September 2011, she will premiere The Oprah Winfrey Network. Via spies at Harpo Productions, here is a preview of the bold and innovative programming that network with feature.
Naming America's First Marijuana Cafe
The place is called The Cannabis Café, which I find pretty disappointing. If there's anything we know about people who claim to use marijuana for medicinal use, it's that they have a sense of humor.
Why I Love Thanksgiving
Though this has been a tough year, try to remember this: when times are tough, somewhere in the world, some unsuspecting turkey is about to have a fistful of gravy shoved deep into his ass.
2024: Carrie Prejean for President
With her smokin' hot body and great family values, no one would make a better presidential candidate for the Republican party than Carrie Prejean.
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