College Days

Peter Mehlman, 12.04.2009

Television writer and producer of SEINFELD, host of Narrow World of Sports.

Each fall, some kids ask me for college recommendation letters. This is, more or less, this year's edition.

Comcast to America: Watch Leno or We'll Cut Off Your Cable

Andy Borowitz, 12.03.2009

BorowitzReport.com

Comcast customers who do not "cooperate" with the Leno edict can expect their cable service to be interrupted, "and a Comcast service representative will be at your house to fix it between the hours of twelve and never."

Tiger's (New) Endorsements

Matthew Diffee, 12.04.2009

Now that we know what kind of "Tiger" Tiger Woods really is, it's hard not to see some inadvertent sexual innuendo in the slogans of the products he endorses.

Overdraft This!

Erik Sean Nelson, 12.02.2009

Comedy Writer

Why are things a crime for the normal citizen, but daily routine for the Big Guys? Kill one person and you get life in prison. Kill 1 million people and it's called war.

Obama To Bring Troops Home!

Tom Gregory, 12.02.2009

Actor, radio personality, and Tony nominated producer

Obama announced that he will deploy 30,000 additional US troops to Afghanistan, promising to bring them home just in time to vote in the next presidential election.

Passive-Aggressive Holiday Gifts For Everyone On Your Naughty List

Una LaMarche, 12.02.2009

Editor of 'The Sassy Curmudgeon'

We all know the hidden meanings behind certain tried-and-true holiday presents. But what if you have a more specialized message to convey?

The NBC Strategy to Save America

David Kronke, 12.01.2009

In the past decade, NBC has transformed from industry leader to laughingstock. Coincidentally, the US has followed a similar course. Has NBC informed governmental policy?

Tiger's Seven Lessons OFF the Course

Jonathan Littman, 12.01.2009

Author, I Hate People!

Any golfer could stand to learn a lot from what Tiger Woods does on the links. Off the course, it's what Tiger doesn't do that is the most educational.

Tiger Woods Disappointed Wife Didn't Use Four Iron

Ben Berkon, 12.01.2009

Comedy Writer/Blogger, SomethingYouShouldRead.com

Tiger Woods, who has been tight-lipped about the odd occurrence at his home last week, has now publicly displayed disappointment about his wife's club selection.

G.O.P. Ideological Purity Test

Trish Wend, 12.01.2009

You must adhere to at least NINE of these truths. Less than NINE: We give you the rack. Less than SEVEN: We kill your family. Less than FIVE: We cut off your funding.

Getting Into The White House

Elayne Boosler, 11.30.2009

Writer/comedian

You don't "breeze on past" White House security by simply "walking in with confidence." It's not a hotspot in the Meatpacking District.

How to Live On $0 a Day: Saving a Cherished American Holiday

Lesley Stern, 11.23.2009

Writer, counselor to the nouveau poor

Ask your neighbors over for a potluck Thanksgiving feast, just like the Pilgrims invited the Native Americans. Once you've enjoyed their delicious offerings, kill them and steal their possessions and property.