Fortune Feimster and I sit in the Green Room at The Comedy Zone in Charlotte before her standup show. As she sips a Jack and Ginger in a tall glass, I feel compelled to ask about a certain seven-year-old pageant queen: Honey Boo Boo.
They are back! They are baaaaack! They are ... the three best friends that anybody could have, the three best friends that anybody could have, and they'll never ever, ever ever leave each other.
"As a card-carrying MGAP member, you will pee anywhere on the course at any time. It doesn't matter if the Senior Ladies League is playing the adjoining hole or a family of four is barbecuing in their back yard that faces the 14th fairway. We go where we damn well please."
It's common for television shows to create characters out of the inanimate. Like a town or a place of business, modes of transport can take on their own personality. In the case of Arrested Development, the Stair Car is as recognizable as Fonzie's motorcycle or Walter White's Aztek.
At this rate, if I want to remain comfortably single without the pressures of a looming marriage proposal, I'll have to move to one of those states. Next time I'm on Craigslist, I'm going have to forego the "Men Seeking Men" section so that I can peruse apartments in Biloxi.
In this episode of "Do It At Home, America!" we uncover the secret savings of keeping your toilet bowl clean with nothing but common household objects -- 1970s style!
You'd be surprised by the number of ways you can spot a straight person. As an example, I'm sharing this excerpt from the book, a list of some of the most popular movies amongst Heterosexuals. Non-Heterosexuals might like these movies as well, but I'm here to generalize.
"What!" I exclaimed. "But you can't be Gatsby. He's dead!" "I assure you," the stranger insisted, removing his false beard and mustache, "I'm alive."
"No one is posting jobs that I'm qualified for, so my resume is a complete work of fiction that highlights my creative writing and improvisational skills."
I still hold out hope that one day I'll wake up a completely different person -- one who prefers Capri pants to sweats and who summers at a beachfront cottage on some sort of cape with several other witty and charming couples.
When you read any food writer, even Michael Pollan, expounding on "traditional" cuisines, you should do it with both eyebrows raised, and your upper lip curled in a pronounced and skeptical sneer.
Well, that's that. Tears have been shed. Stories have been finalized and Creed ends up right where he belongs... jail. Sometimes the days were long, sometimes the coffee was odd, but the company was always... hmm, well, odd also.
Now that Season 12 is over, let's judge Idol's judges, Keith Urban, Nicki Minaj, Randy Jackson and Mariah Carey, for all they're worth -- and, hell, Seacrest too. Frankly, they all deserve it.
Some say that being an American means having the utmost pride in your country. But here are a few other characteristics that I think describe what it really means to be an American.
On my way to the kitchen, I felt a break in the force -- something was definitely off kilter. It was then that I heard those few words that can turn a marriage into chaos.
On Thursday night, the 9th of May, 2013, as a rainbow descended into Hollywood and a cotton-candy sunset filled the firmament of Beverly Hills, the Paley Center for Media L.A. celebrated a humor deity: the one and only Mel Brooks.
Are the Clintons simply too powerful for Colbert to "speak truth to power"? Because if prominent satirists are now afraid to make fun of powerful politicians, our American Republic is in trouble, and it's no laughing matter.
The world population of Content Marketing Experts is exploding at an unsustainable pace -- 12 times the growth of the population as a whole, and nearly twice as fast as One Direction fan blogs, according to recent pretend census data.