Last week Neiman Marcus unveiled its 2009 Christmas Book. As usual, the extravagant offerings in the 83rd annual catalog do not disappoint, particularly the A5 Sports Aircraft and Pilot Training for $250,000, Algonquin Round Table Experience with such luminaries as Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Nora Ephron and George Stephanopoulos for...

In 1621, the Pilgrims and Indians gathered for a harvest feast that became known as America's first Thanksgiving. Over the centuries, the legacy of gathering and giving thanks for a bountiful harvest has has evolved into a frenzy of gluttony and consumerism....

An expert commission of African leaders today announced their plan for comprehensive reform of music band U2, according to unconfirmed and, frankly, fictional sources. Saying that U2's rock had lost touch with its African roots, the Commission called for urgent measures to...

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Facing mounting criticism from the public and the media, Goldman Sachs announced today that they would cancel plans to dance around a bonfire of thousand-dollar bills.

The company had planned to perform a pagan dance around the inferno of blazing thousands while roasting a...

Before Oprah Winfrey's last daily show airs in September 2011, she will premiere The Oprah Winfrey Network. Via spies at Harpo Productions, here is a preview of the bold and innovative programming that network with feature:

MONDAY

8:00am - Grief Counselors Prepare You For Oprah's Regular Show Leaving the Air...

(Reouterz) Chicago - Shocking even Herself, Oprah! Winfrey announced she will soon end her earthly talk-show reign in preparation for Her Ascension.

The publisher of O magazine who is known as "The Most Powerful Person In The Free World," Ms. Winfrey quoted Herself, saying She is leaving Her show "in...

The first ever marijuana café in America opened last week. That doesn't surprise me. What shocks me is that it's in Portland, Oregon. That would be like opening a Mormon bookstore in Salt Lake City. Weird, right? The place is called The Cannabis Café, which I must say I...

Thanksgiving is a time of family. A time of reflection. A time of giving. And a time of stuffing. It is a time when a man or woman, sometimes a slightly intoxicated man or woman, crams their butter-coated hand into a turkey's butt. If this act were to be done...

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - As the health care reform bill makes its way through the U.S. Senate, Sen. Joseph Lieberman (D-Conn.) said today that he was "actively exploring" new ways to be as big a dick as humanly possible.

For Sen. Lieberman, whose reputation for assholic behavior is legendary,...

It appears family values beauty queen Carrie Prejean has been churning out sex tapes the way Krispy Kreme churns out honey glazed doughnuts. We are shocked, shocked we tell you. But that's only the beginning of the shocking news eSarcasm has uncovered.

First, the videos: Forensic video investigators have...

I've been struggling with the idea of "balance" in news.  There is fact, and there is spin.  There is truth, and there is fiction.  But when the mainstream media covers something - showing both sides, paints the picture that everything is 50/50 when there are certain things that are not -...

First published at washingtontimes.com

Apparently, we were warned. The world will come to an end on Dec. 21, 2012.

We know this because a new movie points out that's when the Mayan calendar ends.

I don't know about you, but that's not much of a "warning" to me.

The Mayans...

Sarah Palin in a bottle? You betcha!

Get ready to inhale Eau de Maverick, a designer fragrance based on the opening paragraph of Palin's new book, "Going Rogue," which reads: "I breathed in an autumn bouquet that combined everything small-town America with rugged...

"Michelin has gone to extraordinary lengths to maintain the anonymity of it inspectors. Many of the company's top executives have never met an inspector; inspectors themselves are advised not to disclose their line of work, even to their parents." -The New Yorker

Arrived home from my "business...

The Sarah Palin book-tour-apalooza kept trucking along this week. After rogue interviews with Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters, Sarah took to the airwaves with a man who not only liked her book, but called it

One of the most substantive policy books I've read

And that is no...

OK, I'll admit it -- I'm one of those romantics who believes that my soul mate is out there someplace. I just hope she's in the Los Angeles area, because if she's in Kentucky or Argentina, the dating commute is going to grow old...

Half listening to the Sunday talk show clap trap, I thought I misheard Hillary Clinton when she said she had not yet met Sarah Palin, but wouldn't mind chatting with her over a cup of coffee. I couldn't believe these two pivotal political women weren’t personally acquainted, but then...