Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page:  « First  ‹ Previous  2 3 4 5 6  Next ›  Last »  (7 total)
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kilchis
We're all in this together
02:41 PM on 12/10/2011
" Did she get tired or did she just get lazy...". I like that "needs" list but life is so full of distractions, work,kids,budgets,chores,etc.. First find somebody that you can work with,who forgives and whom you can forgive. Life is full of little hurts and disappointments as well as their opposites,savor the latter. You need to be like a relay team,when one can't do it the other one can.
photo
powerage
Take a chance while you still got a choice!
07:09 AM on 12/12/2011
"Did she get tired or just get lazy" ...thats a line from a John Mellencamp song right? I really should know this ....but its very late & it escapes me at this moment.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
Edwin Deuning
Peace & Disarmament with Public Service for all
02:37 PM on 12/10/2011
HuffPo should have saved this article and TITLE, for April Fools. But I feel like the fool, for adding to the click counts, on what turned out to be an article on reverse pyschology. Not appreciated HuffPo.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bushguy
A plague on both your houses
02:37 PM on 12/10/2011
This is a bad article on almost every level, which I guess in some sense is an accomplishment.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ligligl
feelthy liberal! ...and not just a pretty face!
02:26 PM on 12/10/2011
I think we need a blog from Newt on relationships...
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LolaGetz
If you obey all the rules, you'll miss all the fun
02:52 PM on 12/10/2011
So that we'll know just what *not* to do?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
mjeffn
Freedom's just another word 4 nothing left to lose
03:19 PM on 12/10/2011
I was going to say that.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
whosallen
Left-Leaning-Liberal-Lunatic & Proud of It!
02:19 PM on 12/10/2011
Reinvent youself and your relationship continually. Works for me.
04:04 PM on 12/11/2011
"Hi honey, we're not married anymore, I though you should know."
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
thinklib
I will not mince words.
02:13 PM on 12/10/2011
I feel ripped off.

Who wants to have an affair with their spouse?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
whoknew---
02:45 PM on 12/10/2011
funny yet hopefully if you are married your wife is unaware of what your nom de plume is....
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
meinAz
01:57 PM on 12/10/2011
When I saw the title Huffpo gave this, (How to have an affair, and stay married,) I clicked on it specifically to skim over the contents and then come down on the author like a ton of bricks. Now that I see what it's actually about, it's a nice article, but I take major issue with Huffpo for it's deepening trend of intentionally misleading headlines to get people to maximize their clickage here. You're losing my respect, and soon, you'll lose my attention.
photo
waltzacrosstexas
When in doubt... just ask "HER" to dance!
02:10 PM on 12/10/2011
I clicked on the headline for the same reason... however, I really don't mind being "fooled"... the best headlines will most always have a "double intendre" (Christ - utilized the same ploy) - purposefully!
02:11 PM on 12/10/2011
You know? You might not be the first person to notice HP's incessant proclivity.
01:48 PM on 12/10/2011
Love this article!

Unfortunately, many of us weren't taught by our parents how to navigate the sometimes stormy waters of relationship.

Asking for what we want in a way that our partner can receive it is an important skill that all couples need if they want healthy relationships. That and being able to listen sympathetically is key.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ligligl
feelthy liberal! ...and not just a pretty face!
02:28 PM on 12/10/2011
I have a friend whose mother just drinks a lot...
Another mother just zoned out and stayed there...
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Nancy Fagan
12:27 PM on 12/11/2011
Hi Ms. Anastasia,

You seem to be one of the few people who actually read beyond the title. True, having a strong relationship does not just happen, it's a learning and trial & error process.

Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Reporter
www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com
01:46 PM on 12/10/2011
doesn't the headline sound like the article is about tips on how to cheat without getting caught?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
meinAz
01:55 PM on 12/10/2011
yes
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
belladio
Not in the mood to suffer fools
01:58 PM on 12/10/2011
It sure does.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Democrab
Pretty far so good
01:45 PM on 12/10/2011
This is a great idea. I love it. I'm going to make my list and check it twice. Thanks!!
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Nancy Fagan
12:30 PM on 12/11/2011
Hi Mr./Ms. Democrab,

I love the Santa list reference! Hey, I'd love to hear what happens when you try it with your partner. Not just that, but to share it with the community here.

Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Reporter
www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
typeterson
01:44 PM on 12/10/2011
this lady sounds like dr. phil. sit down and make lists together?? what a load of BS.

if you want to be with other people, don't get married.

people who genuinely want marriage and family just make it work without all the effort.

if you're getting married to satisfy familial, religious or societal pressure, grow a backbone and live the way you want and don't get married.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Nancy Fagan
12:40 PM on 12/11/2011
Hi Mr./Ms. Typeterson,

Okay, I'm putting you to the challenge to think differently. Forget Dr. Phil, familial, religious, etc. stuff. Have you ever been in a relationship where either you or your partner was unhappy with something in the relationship? What did you do about it? The point of the article is to open the lines of communication with your partner and discuss how to make the relationship work. You don't actually have to write out a list.

So back to the challenge, I'd like for you to respond with some suggestions/tips (serious tips, not insults or jokes) that people can try in their relationship to keep a couple connected with each other during difficult times. I'm really like to know.

Thanks,

Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Reporter
www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
typeterson
06:52 PM on 12/13/2011
hi nancy, this is mr.typeterson, thank you for your reply.

In answer to your question, yes, i have been in relationships where there were problems. but my relationships are different in that i am not searching for 'the one' to be with for the rest of my life. i think differently. i am not opposed to long term monogamy, but i choose to make my own life as successful and fulfilling as i can on my own. i do not feel i need to be in a committed relationship to complete my life. it is complete as it is. if a woman makes such an impression on me that i choose that path, then i will happily do so, as that relationship will be the cherry on the icing on the cake that is my life. if i don't happen upon that relationship, i still have a pretty good cake with the icing already on it.

my only suggestion for struggling couples is the obvious one, complete, uninhibited, brutal honesty. honesty with yourself first, and then honesty to your partner. i just feel that there are too many people living a life they feel pressured to live, and we all know what happens when pressure gets to high. something bursts.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
notsotupelohoney
Don't just Question Authority, Defy it.
08:24 PM on 12/14/2011
Ms Fagan,

May I ask you a question?

What differences do you note between Americans and Europeans on this subject, and why do you think those differences exist?

My observation is that Europeans seem much more mature and realistic, and less dependent. Do you think these are valid observations?
01:39 PM on 12/10/2011
Catchy lead, BUT, disceptive.

An affair outside the marriage is NEVER a good thing because it is the ultimate insult to ones partner. In reality, that "secretive" insult finds its way out in the open with MULTIPLE "conventional" insults.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Nancy Fagan
12:45 PM on 12/11/2011
Hi Mr./Ms. Blindhog,

As the blogger, I always wonder what my titles will be changed to when they are posted on the site. :)

The article was suggesting spicing up a person's relationship with the current partner, not going outside the relationship. Regarding your "secretive" comment, I'm not sure what you were communicating. I'd like to read more about your point. Looking forward to your response.

Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Reporter
www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com
06:11 PM on 12/14/2011
"secretive" insult was referring to the events of the previous sentence, that being an affair outside of the marriage. "coventional" insults was referring to the insults that the cheating spouse heap on their marital partner in other ways.

And, to address the issue of the lead NOT being one you created. In a way I find that somewhat off-putting. I say that because, as in this case, it was catchy, but misleading.

I remember a very fine article that a hugh school student put in the paper and unbeknownst to her one of the schools editors used SUCK in the lead. This was back in the late 80s, early 90s, so it was a bit shocking and really unfair to put the young writer in an "uncomfortable" position. Now anything goes.
photo
marecek
Lawyers for argle bargle.
01:14 PM on 12/10/2011
"How to have an affair (and stay married)"

It's really a pity this was not written earlier - could have saved Herman Cain alot of trouble, and he might still be in the race. Well, in his own words, he can BLAME HIMSELF.
photo
Scottt01
Ask what you can do for your Country!
02:45 PM on 12/10/2011
To bad he wasn't a Democrat because then it wouldn't have mattered to his voters.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LolaGetz
If you obey all the rules, you'll miss all the fun
02:53 PM on 12/10/2011
You mean like how Newt's tawdry past doesn't matter now?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
linnwood
03:04 PM on 12/10/2011
That you Vitter?
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Nancy Fagan
12:45 PM on 12/11/2011
Hi Mr./Ms. Marecek,

LOVE IT!

Nancy Fagan, The Divorce Reporter
www.TheDivorceHelpClinic.com
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
belladio
Not in the mood to suffer fools
01:08 PM on 12/10/2011
This article contains some good advice - thank you, Nancy. If two people are comfortable enough with each other to get married, there's little reason they can't find ways to keep the relationship interesting both in and out of the bedroom. I'm sure some cheat for the rush and may just enjoy the chase, but I suspect that many do it for other reasons as listed in the article. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if much cheating doesn't originally begin with one party reaching out for a compassionate ear or some stimulating conversation that they may no longer be getting from their partner.

We may take our spouse for granted in ways we might not even be aware of and no longer give them the same attention we once did during the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship. Listening to them and really trying to understand what they're saying may no longer be as high on our priority list as the mortgage or the kids. We may no longer show them that we find them desirable, thinking it's a tacit understanding. But a lot can be said for an unexpected gesture that lets our partner know that yes, I still find you sexy after all these years, and am willing to make the effort to show it.
photo
fugmo
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
01:03 PM on 12/10/2011
The first question to ask is "How many items from this list do you WANT to provide?" and if the answer is none or not many then at least admit it and "cowboy up", as they say, and have the courage and courtesy to get out before dragging someone else in.