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06:30 AM on 12/17/2011
A good lecture...she hit it on the nail, especially on why we use forms of additions for "numbing ourselves". I had a brilliant brother once who had accomplished more in his life than I ever could have.
But he was always so down on himself...never felt good enough. This led to him "numbing" himself to make the "demons" go away. But in the end, all that did was take "him" away permanently and I miss him now terribly.
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resquedog
07:35 AM on 12/18/2011
Yes, a great lecture. Unfortunately the addicted individuals who are "numbing" themselves won't take the time to listen to a lecture such as this.

Sorry for your loss.
09:57 AM on 12/18/2011
I liked her lecture as well. She's right that so many of us numb our feelings with something. And I'm sorry about your brother. But please don't tell yourself you can never measure up to your brother. You are your own person with skills and talents and vulnerabilities. And efforts and connections are important
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Andy S
06:30 AM on 12/17/2011
This woman needs to get a real job.
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giftsthatpurr
Lovely life
03:07 PM on 12/19/2011
. . and you say this because?
03:12 AM on 12/17/2011
Very interesting talk, I want to listen to her more often
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forkuu
terrible typist-no patience- no political party
02:22 AM on 12/17/2011
i dont care what this poster says . everyones experience is different for different and sometimes unexplainable reasons. many things dictate how open we are . for some it can come very easy for others its a chore . is it worth it ? i would say sometimes with some people . since humans are so very different and changeable i cant believe being vulnerable applies to all people .
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giftsthatpurr
Lovely life
03:11 PM on 12/19/2011
I agree that we are each unique - but also connected in our similaritites - so perhaps allowing ourselves to be vulnerable should be considered as carefully as we allow ourselves to be cynical or guarded. I do not want to appear vulnerable when walking to my car at night, however, when with someone I care for, without vulnerability there is not much going on. I think the key is to allow what fits.
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forkuu
terrible typist-no patience- no political party
02:35 AM on 12/21/2011
yes we each have our own path
12:37 AM on 12/17/2011
I just finished writing a four-hundred and fifty page book on my marriage, divorce and the two men that followed. Without vulnerability I would have had nothing of interest to write about. My journey with this project produced one epiphany after another, one of them being, that without risk and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in this life, you are cutting yourself off at the knees and stunting your own growth. Life is to be lived, not walked through safe and neat... The goal is not to reach the end of it with no material for a book! The goal is to live it to the fullest capacity of one's ability, and then sit back with a satisfied smile that comes from the deepest part of your soul, because you have learned who you were and who you ended up to be. The beauty and the beast of all you had to go through to get through this amazingly tumultuous life. Unfortunately vulnerability is a personal perception, and a person's ability or inability rests in their DNA, in their genetic composition. A rabbit will never be a bull and a ram will never be a bird. I believe it is the most fortunate of us who takes life with gusto and is not afraid of losing face... I think it has a great deal to do with the love of self, an unselfish love of self.
12:26 AM on 12/17/2011
I continue to be amazed at how the most highly educated people among us, who overwhelmingly have alternative secular belief systems, are unwilling to acknowledge that what they found through many years of research was exactly what Christs teachings are. Yet they do not acknowledge it. They dance all around it and even walk over the top of it but they don't dare acknowledge it. Attributing anything to Christianity or Jesus on college campus anymore is somehow taboo, yet this delightful person spent her entire adult life getting an advanced education only to reveal findings that many quality churches teach every Sunday.

As for the nonbelievers who want to make a statement about the Christian Crusades I would like to remind you that Christians are fallible people. Being a Christian doesn't magically cause people to do everything correct and not commit sin. In addition if your lack of faith rides on the actions of others or the Crusades or the horrible actions of a priest, it seems evident much was missed in your investigation into Christian teachings and it is he who deserves praise and thanks. Not people, not priests and not academic institutions.

In conclusion;
Academic researchers are fanatical about citing sources. Except when it's related to Christianity .
12:21 AM on 12/17/2011
pretty good talk
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bng1959
Covert agent in the gay agenda.
11:59 PM on 12/16/2011
"Faith minus Vulnerabil­ity equals extremism."
No words have ever been more true or relevant for what is going on in America today.
Faith by nature is vulneral to try and make it absolute is insane.
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Leon Engelun
11:32 PM on 12/16/2011
I was vulnerable a few times in my life. I fell in love and had my heart ripped out. I fell in love again and have my love run off with a guy and leave me without a pot to pee in and 4 kids to feed. I have learned that people strive for love to make life a fun or meaningful place to be.
Without love it is lonely but you don't get your heart and soul destroyed. One must keep life simple. Don't let yourself be vulnerable, be distant and be alert.
01:15 AM on 12/17/2011
I, too have felt so much pain since I am so vulnerable. I learned along the way to protect my heart. Being too trusting invites all kinds of trouble...I finally know how to spot the wolves..so I spend a lot of time alone...that's okay. My family loves me. I find love in beauty, art, nature, and the little things that make me happy. I turn on some music and dance. I really hope things get better for you!
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Margaret Penny Wood
02:23 AM on 12/17/2011
You sound very sad to me. Most people have experienced broken hearts more than once. It is terrible pain, but you work through it and learn what it really is you do want in a partner. If you are not happy your children are not going to be happy either. I strongly recommend therapy. It does help.
11:31 PM on 12/16/2011
It takes a very secure person to be vulnerable. Life's experiences often lead us to our awareness that we are all vulnerable... no matter how hard we try to act/feel/respond as if we aren't. I truly believe that we are all on this earth to figure out what our individual gifts/talents are and how we can use them to be a blessing to our fellow human beings. We won't be judged on how much money we have or what possessions we own... we will leave this world as we entered it.. naked and without anything..we will be judged on how we used our gifts and talents to be a blessing to each other.. period. being vulnerable is a blessing... trying to act like we aren't is shallow and foolish.
11:27 PM on 12/16/2011
This sounds like denial to me. You have to forgive yourself before you can forgive anyone else. After all; we are all humans, and we all make mistakes.

Then, you can work on moving on with your life.

If anyone has a problem after that; that is their problem!
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giftsthatpurr
Lovely life
03:20 PM on 12/19/2011
Agree. Holding onto hurt and resentment just makes us unhappy. However, grieving does take time!
10:59 PM on 12/16/2011
This sounds like denial to me. Forgiving yourself is the best advice out there. After all, we are all humans, and we all make mistakes.

You have to forgive yourselve, before they can forgive anyone else. Then, work on moving on with your life.

I know people have heard this before, but is it does help.

Good Luck!
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10:26 PM on 12/16/2011
I feel what is missing here is any analysis of the "personal is political". It is not just a personal thing if someone feels vulnerable, attacked, paranoid, belittled. These things ARE happening to you constantly. Society is set up to control people and to punish those who do not stick to the script and do as they are told. Emotional honesty, freedom and even self respect will be seen by some people as threatening and they will punish you to get you to fall back into line. And it's not just the occasional individual that you can avoid. It's all of society. Organized groups, and a constant barrage from the media. You have to at least be aware as you grow that this resistance to your growth is there. Otherwise you cannot fight it.
01:20 AM on 12/17/2011
They should have let you write the article. Bravo! Not everyone was meant to follow the groups/society...some are shooting stars and go their own way.
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xnlover
The power of one
01:59 AM on 12/17/2011
While what you say is true and important for us to realize, Brown's message still applies.
In the Tales of the Hasidim, Martin Buber tells of a rabbi named Zusya who told one of his students, "In the coming world they will not ask me, 'Why were you not Moses?' Instead, they will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?'"
You are right that the source of the attacks on us and our vulnerability is not necessarily from within us - though we can, and often do, internalize the external voices. However, I believe Brown is saying that the source of our wholeheartedness is from within us, because it comes from our choice to consider ourselves worthy of love and belonging, even if the external (or internalized) messages we are receiving suggest otherwise. Knowing that we are worthy - which is what every major religion with which I'm familiar seeks to communicate to believers - is the source not only of our living our own lives in a worthy fashion - in effect, demonstrating our worthiness to others, including those who aren't yet convinced we are worthy - but also of our seeking to help others comprehend their own worthiness, the comprehension of which will actually enable them to cease being fearful and defensive and constantly on guard or on the attack and, instead, to begin to live their own lives as though they are worthy of love and belonging - bringing out their "inner Zusya," if you will, as
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giftsthatpurr
Lovely life
03:26 PM on 12/19/2011
xnlover - - - F.F - Unfortunately, most of the "religious" (not the religions) that I am familiar with, are constantly working to make those who do not believe as they do feel not only unworthy but vile. IMO, a person who actually FOLLOWS their religion's path are not to be found. Nonetheless, I love the rest of your post.
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10:11 PM on 12/16/2011
What I would like to add to this is that feelings of rejection and fear are not just personal. It's not just your own problem psychology. You actually ARE being rejected and threatened. Society bullies and controls you constantly and will punish you in real ways if you stray from your compulsory path. Real freedom, true self expression, individuality, are things some people find threatening and will try to beat you into submission you do these things. These people have organized structures, such as religion, to do this. You must be aware that self realization and freedom will be met with real resistance and even abuse. The personal IS politica.
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giftsthatpurr
Lovely life
03:28 PM on 12/19/2011
Of course. All the more reason to work toward our self actualization by allowing vulnerability when it fits the moment, and the wisdom to know when that moment is.
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hotpeppernut
10:06 PM on 12/16/2011
Yes, I think about that so much I can't think of anything else except me.