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06:45 PM on 09/01/2012
How lovely this mother and daughter will be reunited after all of this time. Not all babies "given up" at birth were because of the mother's wish...it was also due to the era ( I am only talking of this era, naturally....I think most women who carry their child and most probably reluctantly give them up are thinking of their child)
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OldTart
Let it begin with me...
02:06 PM on 09/02/2012
The pressure on young women then are unimaginable to us now. But it really was their children's best interests they had in mind, and they suffered the loss terribly. I have talked with many of them and it is heartbreaking all around.
06:31 PM on 09/01/2012
My story is a different one, but no less painful. My biological daughter decided after 28 yrs. that she no longer wanted any contact with our family, her father, her adopted sister, and myself. I have not seen nor spoken with her in all that time.. I would like to think that someday she will change and remember the good times we had together. I know that she is married and has twin daughters, 20 yrs old, that I have never seen. This I learned from family members, now deceased. The postscript to my story is that our adopted daughter is the joy of our lives & has given us 3 grandsons. For this, I am thankful. Mrs Sedor, I hope that your meeting with your daughter, is everything that you want it to be.
08:34 PM on 09/01/2012
I'm am really sorry you had to go through that. I have a baby girl and I can't imagine going through that. I really hope she realizes what she is missing and comes back into your life but it does sound like you have a lot of other wonderful family!
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06:03 AM on 09/02/2012
My story is similar, but from the other side. I endured decades of verbal, physical and emotional abuse from my biological mother, and both sides of my family turned a "blind eye" to it. In my early 20s, I decided I'd had enough and cut off ALL contact with ALL of my biological family members on both sides. It was the best decision I ever made. I'm married with two small children now and can't imagine being happier. I've found love finally.
My point? If your biological daughter decided she no longer wanted any contact with you, don't make the mistake of assuming that it is in HER best interest for her to "change", and don't assume that she wants to "remember the good times" either. A decision to "divorce" your family (especially a biological parent) is not a decision that is made lightly...
Right or wrong, she had a good reason to want you gone. It was in HER best interest to get you out of her life. Leave her alone. My bio mom made an effort to reach out to my wife a few years ago. All it did was piss me off, to put it bluntly.
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OldTart
Let it begin with me...
02:08 PM on 09/02/2012
I had to do the same with my biological father, brother and sister for the same reasons. Sometimes the only path of mental and emotional health is counterintuitive, isn't it? Good for you!
08:27 PM on 09/03/2012
Like you, I also suffered childhood abuse, both verbal & emotional. For any minor infractions, I was threatened with being abandoned "put on a train & sent away." My bio mother had no maternal instincts & eventually she gave up her parental responsibilies & sent me to her mother for the rest of my childhood. I was about 3 or 4 yrs old at the time. As an adult, I knew I needed help to overcome the anger & bitterness that I had inside from the abusive childhood. Therapy helped me realize that what I felt would eventually destroy whatever chance I had for happiness. So, I let go of all the unhappy memories. The forgiveness was liberating. I forgave my mother, took care of her in her old age, & was with her when she died. For me, it was the right solution for my previous unhappiness. We can't change the past, but we are in control of the present & future.. As for my bio daughter, I do know where she lives, thanks to the internet, but choose not to intrude on her life. Whatever decision she makes, I will accept.
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Priscilla Sharp
Mother of adopted person, search angel, adoptee ri
06:30 PM on 09/01/2012
The only guaranty in adoption reunions is the ability to say "I know" instead of "I wonder."
I Love Adoption Reunions on Facebook
05:50 PM on 09/01/2012
I was sent this via link from my birthmother who I met. I was adopted at birth, and I too was leary of meeting the woman that gave me life. I wasn't sure what type of person she was, her life, etc. I am proud to say, that I still keep in touch with her, since Nov. 5th 2000. My older sister found me, Oct 30th 2000. I met my birthfathers family, brothers, wife, sister in laws etc, and also my paternal siblings. My birthfather had passed away before I could meet him from a massive heart attack. My sisters and I story were on the local news as their feature story Christmas Day 2000. At one time, we lived on the same block, shopped at the same small grocery market and even had a crush on the same boy! I do not regret meeting my birthmother, and all my siblings, I consider myself VERY blessed!
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Lindsay Heffernan
05:43 PM on 09/01/2012
I think there is another side to stories like this. Not all birth parents want to be found and likewise no all adopted children want a relationship with their birth parents. Not all adoption stories are like this. Sadly, many birth parents have very real problems that lead to the adoption of their children (drug problems, criminal problems) and a reunion could be detrimental. Many adopted children feel that their adopted parents are their "real" children. Saying everyone deserves birth parents is too big of a generalization. This is one great story and I'm happy for them, but it isn't true for everyone.
07:32 PM on 09/01/2012
You're right. My brother and sister are adopted and neither of them wants to meet their birth parents.
03:53 PM on 09/02/2012
Thank you, this is a very wise piece.
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HLLYWDTXF100
Don't Like Texas ? Then Shut Up,Get Out or Both !
05:13 PM on 09/01/2012
To me,This is one very good reason NOT to have an abortion.
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Pax333
05:48 PM on 09/01/2012
Before the pill there was abortion or what's described below which means millions of babies were farmed out.....very few reunions come about from millions.

Though it's slightly off topic it seems to me this is what the republicans would have us return to. What a crime against women that would be!

Beginning in the 1940s and 1950s, illegitimacy began to be defined in terms of psychological deficits on the part of the mother.......

Solinger describes the social pressures that led to this unusual trend, explaining that women who had no control over their reproductive lives were defined by psychological theory as "not-mothers", and that because they had no control over their reproductive lives, they were subject to the ideology of those who watched over them. As such, for unmarried pregnant white girls and women in the pre-Roe era, the main chance for attaining home and marriage rested on their acknowledging their shame and guilt, and this required relinquishing their children, with more than 80% of white unwed mothers in maternity homes acting in essence as "breeders" for white, adoptive parents.[9] According to Ellison, from 1960–70, 27 percent of all births to married women between the ages of 15 and 29 were conceived premaritally. This problem was thought to be caused by female neurosis, and those who could not procure an abortion, legally or otherwise, were encouraged to put up their children for adoption.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Scoop_Era
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HLLYWDTXF100
Don't Like Texas ? Then Shut Up,Get Out or Both !
01:16 AM on 09/02/2012
There is no such thing as an illegitimate child, It's the parents themselves who are illegitimate !

How off topic is that ? Or is it at all ?
06:39 PM on 09/01/2012
Perhaps, however why should you or some member of the Amerikan Taliban tell another citizen what she can or can not do with her own body.
07:56 PM on 09/01/2012
Agreed, and by the same token, why should others have to pay the price for someone elses birth contraptions or after the fact "let me get rid of this "inconvenience"" abortion!
Your body, your choice, YOUR BILL!!! pay it yourself!!
BYW ... From reading your post I would have to guess that by "member of the Amerikan Taliban" you would be a liberal??
I would be curious to know, How do you get from liberals to more freedom???
Liberals = Socialist has ALWAYS = Communism!!!
The Communists have ALWAYS mass murdered the liberal/socalist that put them in office and then enslaved the rest of the population!!! Check your history!!
Why do you think it would be different here?
I would rather pay for my own abortions and birth control ANY day and at least live to enjoy the freedom to do so!!
08:38 PM on 09/01/2012
Is it JUST her own body?
That is the question.
04:32 PM on 09/01/2012
I was adopted in 1967. I have had an ongoing search for the last 20 years. The State of NC will not unseal adoption records. I was adopted through the Children's Home Society in Greensboro, NC. I was 3 years old at the time of the adoption. My Birth Mother was 42 years old at the time of the adoption. That is what I have been told. I understand that my Birth Mother may be deceased. I am ok with that The not knowing the hard part. The State of NC will give you bits of information But it is not enough to really find out what you need to know. It is really dissapointing.
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meanlady21
04:53 PM on 09/01/2012
Hire an private investigator they can probably find out more and quite quickly. I took a P.I class several years ago from and trained P.I, amazing how they get info.
09:35 AM on 09/02/2012
the point is adoptees shouldn't have to pay for their information. And if she wants to hire someone, the state has ci program in NC. Adoptees shouldn't have to pay for their own information. If they would just give a copy of the orig birth cert. and non identifying information many people could help and find the people.
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thomcat327
Devils advocate
12:38 PM on 09/02/2012
Get a good lawyer. I am sorry you are out of state, and that I cannot represent you.
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meanlady21
04:24 PM on 09/01/2012
how fortunate these two are to be able to meet, because most of us do not make it to 91 years old. God bless this whole family.
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LogicMeetsHumor
Don't touch my food!!!
04:15 PM on 09/01/2012
**Give us more stories and less Huff Post Live videos that even a toddler wouldn't be able to sit through without hurling its rattler at the screen to make it stop**

And if you're going to waterboard us via horrible interviews with everyday joes who barely know what they're talking about, much less how to get through a professional interview (not that that's what Huff Post provides, but you get the point..) at least add a comment section so the 3/500 readers that don't click the x in the right hand corner that have something to say can actually say it. Keep up, Huff&Puff!
04:49 PM on 09/01/2012
So why do you keep reading HP if you're so disappointed with it?
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LogicMeetsHumor
Don't touch my food!!!
05:06 PM on 09/01/2012
Relax, Arianna...
04:11 PM on 09/01/2012
Many women look forward to the day they can DNA test to find their biological father-direct family lines. This will be the next great breakthrough. Many women who gave up children for adoption refused or weren't able to disclose the father's name. In many of those cases, the fathers and those families never will know of the existence of their offspring and future lineage. It's time to break this blockade of information through science not only for genealogy searches, but for medical purposes that will help many to address or prevent inherited illness. Knowledge is power.
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04:36 PM on 09/01/2012
You already can do that. I belong to Ancestory.com and they have a link on their website where you can have your DNA tested. Like it says, you can find family you never knew you had. They send you a saliva swab kit and you mail it back. It cost $99.00 but be aware that there is a waiting list. I am on the waiting list and will be notified when my turn comes up. You don't have to join, just go to the website and click on DNA at the top of the screen and read about it.
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Priscilla Sharp
Mother of adopted person, search angel, adoptee ri
06:32 PM on 09/01/2012
The two major companies offering DNA "Family Finder" testing are
www.23andme.com and
www.familytreedna.com
Your DNA will be put into the vast databanks, and you will be matched with relatives from close to distant cousins. We have had much success in the last year; our knowledge of DNA matching has grown exponentially.
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Advokeet
04:09 PM on 09/01/2012
Nice sentiment to this story, but what about the adoptive families that raised the child as their own and never thought they were anyone but their own? This type reunion is very nice but after nearly a life time it doesn't automatically mean happily ever after and that the adoptive family is now chopped liver.
04:24 PM on 09/01/2012
Sounds like a valid argument and coming from real feelings, but it stems from insecure adoptive parents who don't realize their love can never be replaced. No one can take away the years, nurture and dedication these wonderful parents and families provided. But it doesn't replace information that is also important for children and generations to come. Truth and honesty is best. Living in fear is a terrible thing, but the truth eventually surfaces one way or another. Shouldn't it have come from those who loved them as their own and choose to make the sacrafices the biological parent couldn't or wouldn't provide?
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collieboy
07:03 PM on 09/01/2012
Like your article. The more people that love you, the better off you are!
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meanlady21
04:28 PM on 09/01/2012
your just adding stuff that not there. The birth mother is 91 yrs old and is on her last leg. She wants to see the child she gave up, there isn't much time left for anything else. And in no way does this means she discounts the adoptive parents. Stop listening to dr. Laura.
04:00 PM on 09/01/2012
I love that Mrs. Sedor's son was responsible for finding her daughter. Absolutely wonderful story and now a family complete
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gemzandor
03:59 PM on 09/01/2012
I helped a woman I know find her daughter given up for adoption over thirty years earlier. It took less than 2 weeks to locate and contact her. They ended up meeting and corresponding for a time, but then mutually decided not to have any further contact - it didn't work out to either one's expectations, I suppose. There is not always a happy ending. Sometimes the parent doesn't want to be found, sometimes the child doesn't want it either. I think it is irresponsible to say all adoptees and birth parents want to be found.
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meanlady21
04:31 PM on 09/01/2012
people have these fantasies and once they are met sometimes there just is no connection between the two of them.. better to know the truth and get on with your life minus the fantasies.
05:24 PM on 09/01/2012
Exactly,I read about a man in his 40s who found his birth mother.She was an alcoholic and had also been a prostitute.She had no idea who his sperm donor was.A;;she wanted was for her new found son to buy her a drink.
03:57 PM on 09/01/2012
I was adopted in 1954. I paid a private investigator to find my birth mother in 2002. He found her, old, alone and in a nursing home. She did not want to see me or talk to me. I live in NJ where birth records are sealed, so I will never know or see her.
04:01 PM on 09/01/2012
thats so hard. My husband found his birth mom and while she wanted to meet him and talk to him she still keeps him a secret from the rest of her family. At least you know you tried your best although I am sure no words can help how that made you feel.
04:32 PM on 09/01/2012
From a friend's experience, people make mistakes and feel judged. They are also sometimes victims of violence. Sometimes these painful experiences, coupled by the pain of giving up part of themselves forever, just isn't something some are willing to heal. I've found this more so the case with older generations who came from a more private time when our lives weren't a can opener on Facebook and other social media.
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meanlady21
04:35 PM on 09/01/2012
i think people born from before the 70's usually had more shame attached to their adoption for the birth parent. Some of those may have been rapes or so much shame was put upon the birth mother for having a child out of wed lock. Now days birth parents are having open adoptions and children born out of wed lock are no big deal anymore. it's generally about being financially unable to provide for the baby.
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03:56 PM on 09/01/2012
What a beautiful true life story. Thank you