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11:54 PM on 11/14/2012
I don't get the point of this. Or, maybe I do get the point, and I am offended.

I very much hope to get married some day. Unfortunately, it is not yet legal in my state (Illinois) to do so.

And I don't mean I want to throw a big, lavish wedding with a honeymoon in Mar del Plata afterwards. I just would very much like to have the option to be legally married to a man that I love (once I find him, of course).

This article is not funny. Marriage equality is not a joke.

This article is not helpful. Many of us are fighting with all our might for the right to marry in our states and nations.

Boo, Miss Carswell. You are missing the point, as far as I'm concerned.
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BeauBoi
Imagine there's no Heaven...
09:29 PM on 11/14/2012
Ya know? I could care less how "Sue Sees It". My HUSBAND and I have been together since 3/1994. We have a son. We ARE a family. So we got MARRIED and we could care less what anyone thinks about it. In fact, I would wonder why ANYONE besides the two of us would think their opinion matters!
09:19 PM on 11/14/2012
Is there a point to this ridiculous, stereotype-filled article?
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
07:34 PM on 11/14/2012
Ya know what sue, you sound just like the wrong side of this question. Here's an idea... DON'T GET MARRIED!!! Just we've been telling the creeps YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET MARRIED!!

AND my MArried Husband and I had a wedding that involved meeting with the officiant, signing the papers with two neighbors as witnesses, and going out for an ethnic dinner afterwards We didn't even say any vows out loud, worked for us. We Are MARRIED. (after 30 years together when we COULD NOT get married.) Deal with it

but if some one WANTS to have a big ol Bridezilla wedding, who the hell are you to rain on their parade?
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MyNameIsMickey
07:21 PM on 11/14/2012
Love should be this. Love should be that.

The only thing missing is the pastor's judgmental collar around her tight, tight neck.
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Leanne McKenzie
You can't make this sh*t up.
07:04 PM on 11/14/2012
You aren't saying don't get married, you are saying don't have a traditional wedding. A marriage is a legal collaboration. There are laws and rights inherent in legal marriages that aren't always available with other statuses.

If you don't like traditional wedding and costly events - don't have them. My first wedding was a trip to the marriage commissioners office with half a dozen people and then a meal at a restaurant. My second wedding took place in the evening at a public aquarium, we were all in our jammies and we had a sleep over. Costs were minimal and fun was had by all.
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sherbertson
Gay, pagan, believer in science.
06:59 PM on 11/14/2012
Ya see, that's the thing about civil marriage... you don't have to have a fancy reception if you don't want to. You can just go to the courthouse and have the JP do his/her thing, and be done with it. If you want to have the elaborate ceremony, you can do that too. "Marriage" already has many concessions for couples to do it the way they want to. The point is, EVERY couple that can legally consent should be allowed to have a civil marriage if they want. The civil institution should be blind to the gender of the participants... how you have your marriage officiated is where you decide whether or not to involve religion.
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05:03 PM on 11/14/2012
You certainly are entitled to your own opinion on the subject of weddings and marriage. However, given the fight that has been going on in order for those who truly desire to be married, I find this to be a grave disservice to those men and women and only adds fuel for the far right to stop our movement forward on equal rights.
04:18 PM on 11/14/2012
Question... why would you think your opinions that other people should not marry will matter to anyone?

Such opinions are best kept to oneself, as are opinions about who should marry, or who should not be permitted to marry, or who should divorce, or shouldn' be permitted to divorce....
03:03 PM on 11/14/2012
LOL. Wow. Not sure I have a word readily available for this one. I do wonder, though, where the paranoia over control comes from in this article. All of that noise about what weddings are or do (in this article) is not about control - is it?
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missygoose0314
11:41 AM on 11/14/2012
This is what I've always said about marriage - gay or straight. Why on earth would anyone a) want to be legally bound to another person and have a court intervene in your relationship if you go separate ways and b) why ask the government for "permission" to love someone of your own choosing?

The whole institution has enslavement written all over it, and like Republicanism and Halloween, I can't wait for it to eventually completely die out. Once again, it's up to the younger generation to not buy into the fantasy of forever and ever.
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03:18 PM on 11/14/2012
Well, there is more to it than that. A legal marriage allows both spouses to have rights under health and life insurance. Marriage allows certain rights to couples that are not available to couples who are not married or legally married. For example, if I were married, I would want my husband ( the guy I’m planning on being with until the day I die) to be covered by health insurance at work, not the guys I f*** prior to that. I'm, for one, do not believe in the concept of marriage - but I'm not stupid enough to try to tell others, gay or straight, that they should not get married because it is a false or some illusion crap. The fact is that this is America and people have the right to marry or not marry who they love, who they want to f***, or who they want to take care of them, etc. Don't get married, I don't give a f***, but let others live their lives
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Fanny Lebowitz
06:28 PM on 11/14/2012
I agree. And the fact that people were considered nothing more than chattel to be traded for gain between families is how the whole antiquated tradition got started.
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joe1964
Celebrate France, 1789 at Goldman Sachs
11:06 AM on 11/14/2012
Pulled me in with the provocative headline and I skimmed the nonsensical content.

The 'legal collaboration' exists, its called 'marriage.' If she doesn't want a marriage ceremony, she should say so.
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Ron Hovey
Empathy, Rationality, Equanimity
10:50 AM on 11/14/2012
I get the satire and humor, but it still confusses the fact that marriage is not the wedding any more than dying is last rites.
11:31 AM on 11/14/2012
Thank you. Well said.
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missygoose0314
11:46 AM on 11/14/2012
Unfortunately, so many people DO believe the wedding IS the marriage. Just look at Kim Kardashian, just wanting to be a princess for a day and the center of attention, then putting no effort whatsoever into her relationship.
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
07:35 PM on 11/14/2012
yeah but she's straight. at least publicly.
10:02 AM on 11/14/2012
A Marriage is not a ceremony. A marriage is not a platitude. A marriage is not a legal fiction. "Love might not be forever" is a player's anthem, a heartbreaker's infuriating argument.
09:25 PM on 11/14/2012
I think I might love you for that.
10:01 AM on 11/14/2012
I get what she is trying to say, however, the concept of marriage goes beyond the "wedding" day.

Recently, a friend of mine who loves her gay brother tells me she is not at all concerned about legalized same sex marriage. In fact, her gay brother is a hardcore republican and he is not concerned either. They just don't feel it matters. I have trouble understanding why. What am I missing there?

When I asked her about seeing your spouse in the hospital, she says people really aren't denied access anyway, so same sex marriage won't help there. When I mentioned about insurance coverage, she said insurance companies are starting to allow coverage of partners anyway (I cannot name any, I would need to research it). I then asked what if insurance doesn't cover your unmarried partner, and what if your partner's medical bills are too much to handle out of pocket? Her response was, "Then the partner needs to get his own insurance". I stated, "What if he is extremely ill and cannot work?" No answer. I then mentioned about being able to make medical decisions for my spouse if necessary, and was told "That's what POAs are for, anyone can assign a POA"..... Later I thought, if nothing else, there really isn't a logical reason to deny same-sex legal marriages.

I get tired of fighting and sometimes just want to give up. I'd like to have your serious input. Many thanks.
10:43 AM on 11/14/2012
Friends of mine have spent upwards of $50,000 getting legal matters covered (such as POA) in lieu of a $10 marriage license. If your friends don't care one way or the other about marriage equality, then ask them to vote for it and get out of the way of those who do care.
11:02 AM on 11/14/2012
Thank you for your comment Baryton51. 50k is a lot of darn money.
11:32 AM on 11/14/2012
Very well said!!
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joe1964
Celebrate France, 1789 at Goldman Sachs
11:11 AM on 11/14/2012
Ask these people why you should have to take extra time and effort to do all the things that straight people can get done with 30 dollars and half an hour at the Justice of the Peace. Then ask her why she keeps making excuses to discriminate against you and her brother. Then stop letting what she thinks matter.
If this woman can't support her brother or you as a gay man then it is not from ignorance, it is from deliberate denial or apathy. Either way it is not something you should tolerate in your life. Surround yourself with people who support you!